Forever Family
by francescaalavin
Summary: Gracie has been in the foster system for years, her only friend being Sophia. Will she find her forever family? Now completed, please review. (TW: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, physical, verbal and sexual abuse. This isn't the whole premise of the story, these are things that affect the character's development.) NEW FOSTERS STORY UP ON MY PAGE
1. Chapter 1

"I'm Gracie, I'm 14, 15 next month, I live in a group home. There are 7 other girls there. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad killed himself when I was seven. I've been moved to a lot of homes because my foster parents would always get irritated with me, up until I started middle school, I was mute, that's why they all hated me, I would never say what I want. So, my social worker put me in a group home, I stayed there until I was 13 then got moved to the one that I'm in now."

"And what's your illness Gracie?" The group leader asks.

"I have depression and PTSD. They started when my dad killed himself, I was the one who found him. I got really bad, I cut myself, I even tried to kill myself a few times, but I'm 3 months clean right now." My friend takes my hand, I smile at her. "I'm doing okay, I mean it's difficult living in the group home, the kids are kind of scary sometimes. But my roommate is okay, we don't really talk much. I'm still looking for a permanent foster home though. My goal is to get adopted.

"Thank you, Gracie. Would anyone else like to speak?" I sit back down next to Sophia. We met here, in our mental disorder support group. She's been a very good friend to me.

"That was really brave G." She whispers to me. I smile at her. When I started the group, I didn't talk to anyone, but after meeting Sophia I've managed to say a little something every week, I've been building up the courage to tell the whole story, and I've finally done. It might not have been in great depth but it's enough for me. After group, Sophia and I go to her house, I've been over a few times and hung out with her and her family on their yacht, but today her half-sister Callie is going to be there, she's wanted me to meet her for a while now.

We sit in Sophia's room watching TV. Then Callie arrives, I stand up to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Gracie." I shake her hand.

"I'm Callie, Sophia's told me a lot about you." She seems nice, she's very pretty.

"Yeah, I've heard about you too."

"Come on guys, we're just about to have dinner." Sophia leads us both downstairs.

"So, you live in a group home? I used to live in one too." Callie says to me.

"Yeah, Sophia told me, it can be pretty scary," I say.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find your family." She says and smiles at me.

"No one really wants teenagers."

"You'd be surprised, I found my family when I was 15, don't give up okay?" She gives me a hug and we all go outside for dinner.

I really enjoy spending time with Sophia's parents, they may be a little bit snobbish, but they really make me feel comfortable.

"How was group today girls?" Her dad Robert asks.

"It was good, Gracie told her story," Sophia says, my cheeks turn slightly red.

"You did? Well done Gracie, I know that must have been difficult for you." Her mom says.

"Thank you, yeah it was scary, but I had my best friend by my side."

"That's so sweet, I wish I had a friend like that," Callie says.

"You have me, and Mariana, and your brothers, and AJ, and Daphne and all the other girls."

"Wow, I guess you're right."

"Sometimes it's hard to see what you have until someone points it out, I wish I had everything you had Callie," I say.

"Hey, let's not emotional, besides, you have us," Sophia says. I hug her.

"Eat your dinner girls, we're gonna watch a movie when we're done," Robert says.

"Is it okay if I stay?" I ask.

"Of course, don't be silly Gracie, you're always welcome here."

"Thank you."

We begin watching the movie 'Hook' when I get up and go to the bathroom. I may have lied earlier in group. I'm not exactly three months clean, I'd say it's more like three hours. I've had a rough week. One of the girls in my home is giving me a hard time, she saw my scars once and since then she's been telling me I need to cut deeper and kill myself, so she doesn't have to. I don't know why she hates me so much. Her name is Eileen and she's a little bit crazy. I count my blessings that she's not my roommate. Since I stood up in group, I've felt the urge to cut. I quietly rifle through the medicine cabinet in the family bathroom. I find Roberts razor blades. I've never cut with something so sharp, but I don't even hesitate to pull one out of the box and drag across my upper forearm. There's a lot of blood, but it brings me joy. I put everything away and hold down some toilet paper on the cut. I sit on the floor for a little while, until I hear the door knock.

"Uh, one second." I rush to try and stop the bleeding, but it drips over the counter and the floor.

"It's Callie, you've been in there for a while are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a sec, my voice cracks."

"I'm coming in." She swings the door open to see me covered in blood. I stand there in shock, she does the same, before closing the door behind her. She takes my arm and wipes the blood away, she goes through the cabinet and finds a bandage. "Sit down." I put the toilet seat down and take a seat. She crouches in front of me and begins wrapping my arm up.

"Thank you, you shouldn't have to do this."

"I'm not doing because I have to. I'm doing it because I care. Any friend of Sophia's is a friend of mine." She secures the bandage up and sits cross-legged on the floor. "Now do you wanna talk about it?" I sit staring at her for a second.

"I don't know why I'm like this. I'm getting better though, I go to support group, I have a counsellor and I take pills for my PTSD, but I still get depressed. Please don't tell anyone. I've told Sophia I've been clean for 3 months, and I was until this week."

"Why? What happened this week?" She asks, and I tell her about Eileen. "I would tell you to tell the person in charge at your home, but if I'm honest it might only make things worse. Just avoid her as much as can, and if it gets worse or more frequent, then request a transfer."

"I can handle it, but please, don't tell Sophia. I'm trying my hardest to stop, I promise." She looks down at my bandaged arm and pulls my sleeve down.

"I won't. Do you want me to walk home?" It's incredible, Sophia said we would get along, she was right.

"Yeah, okay." We go back out to the living room. "Hey sorry about that, I just had a tough day. Thank you for dinner though. I'm gonna head home now."

"That's okay, do you want a ride?" Robert asks.

"No, it's okay, we're gonna walk. Gracie lives on the way to mine anyway. Thanks for having me."

"Text me when your home G." Sophia hugs me and Callie and I start walking, it's already kind of dark.

"How's your arm now?" She asks.

"I think it's stopped bleeding, thanks again for that, I feel a lot better."

"You can talk to me anytime you need, and of course Sophia, she's your best friend." I smile at her.

"So, tell me about your family."

"Well there's me, my brother Jude, Jesus and Mariana who are twins, then there's Brandon who lives with his girlfriend, and my mom's Stef and Lena. I have it pretty good, though it wasn't easy getting here. There was a lot of complications with my adoption and stuff like that. But it's all worked out now."

"Is that why you had to go to the group home?"

"Yeah, my moms' foster license expired before I got adopted so I stayed at Girls United for a bit, it was scary, like you said, but we all developed a pretty good relationship with each other. I still visit them a lot now."

"I don't think I'll visit anyone when I finally get out." We reach my group home. I just stand there and look up to my bedroom window."

"I can come in if you want, talk to your care worker about today."

"No, it's okay, if she found out I was struggling again she'd send me back to a different home."

"Well isn't that what you want?" She starts walking up, but I yank her back.

"No Callie, please don't. It wouldn't be any home, it would be a special one, for kids who aren't all there. She's been threatening to send me there for a while now, I've got one more strike before she sends me there." I tear up a little, Callie hugs me and I break down. "I'm sorry, it's just all so scary."

"Don't apologize, you're gonna be okay. Just keep your head down. I'll see you soon." She sends me on my way, waiting at the top of the path until I go in the house. Before I even knock Jenna, the care worker opens the door.

"Cutting a bit fine aren't we Gracie?" I look back at Callie, she smiles. Jenna closes the door behind me.

"Sorry, I walked home with Sophia's sister."

"I don't care, go to bed." She walks off into the living room. I do as she says and go up to my room. My roommate Amy is in there.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi." She's never been very chatty. I get ready for bed and as I'm getting into my pyjamas, I notice I've bled through my bandage, a lot. I unwrap it and it starts gushing again, I try to everything I can to stop the bleeding, but it just doesn't stop, it runs down my arm, onto my pyjamas and all over the floor. I hold clump after clump of tissue paper on it, but it soaks through all of it, now there's none left. I sit down on the floor and start using the hand towels, then I try to get up and get the bigger towels, but I can't find the strength to get up. I find myself becoming breathless, and it's getting more and more difficult to keep my eyes open. My legs and arms go limp, I slide down the wall and I'm lying on the bathroom floor. I stare up at the ceiling fan before everything blurs into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up in a hospital, a fucking hospital. This is, by no means, what I intended to happen. I look to my right and see an empty armchair. I look down to my arm and see that it's been properly bandaged up. I sit up and look around, I'm on a ward, there's a bed next to me, and two on the other side of the room. There're other kids my age around in the beds, they're all with who seems to be they're parents. I start to panic slightly, I spot a nurse in the corner flicking through a file. She looks up and notice's I'm awake, she immediately comes over to me.

"Hello sweetie, how are you feeling?" She whispers because it's already dark out, she sits on the edge of my bed and brushes the hair out of my face.

"I'm okay, I swear I wasn't trying to do it, I thought I had stopped the bleeding," I say, my voice sounds like I'm on the verge of tears, and I am.

"Okay honey, stay calm. I think it's best if you just get some rest and we will figure out what's going to happen in the morning when you wake up."

"What do you mean?" I remembered the three strikes. She's going to send me to the home. "I can't go to the home, they can't make me please stop them." I'm crying my eyes out now. She starts stroking my head.

"Shh, it's okay, there's no need to worry about anything tonight, don't stress yourself out." I begin hyperventilating. She tries to calm me down. I try to get out of the bed, but she holds me back, I fight back. I start screaming for her to let me go, the kids around me all turn to look at me. The nurse reaches into her pocket and pulls out something with a button on it, she pushes it. I continue trying to break free of her hold, but she pins me downs with my arms above my head, I kick my legs around and keep screaming.

Suddenly two men in white jumpsuits come in, followed by another nurse, one of the men holds down my legs, the other holds my arms and the nurse holds down my shoulders, the other nurse comes over to my arm and jabs a needle into it. I continue to struggle but body begins to go limp, I feel the tears run down my face as my head flops back onto my pillow. I expected to pass out, but I lay here motionless, physically incapable of moving. After a few hours of absolute nothingness, I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning, knowing I can't act like that again. The same nurse from last night comes to my bedside.

"I'm sorry about last night, I was terrified about what was going to happen to me." I sit up in my bed, feeling blessed that I can move again.

"It's okay, I understand. So, you're going to be assessed by a doctor and that will basically determine whether or not you're fit to leave today."

"And if I am?"

"Then you will be escorted by your social worker, Anita to Montgomery house, I'm sorry sweetie." I start to cry silently. She strokes my head again. "I'll go and get you some breakfast." She leaves the room. I look to my left to see the girl in the bed next to me looking at me. She doesn't stop when she sees me staring back.

"Hi. I'm Carrie." She says and smiles. As rude as it sounds, I'm not interested in making friends here, I don't want to make myself comfortable, so I return a simple smile and look down at my hands. My nurse brings me a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice after I eat, I sit around for an hour until the nurse comes back with a doctor. He sits in the armchair. He introduces himself as Doctor Jameson and asks me a bunch of questions about cutting myself and suicidal thoughts and all that depressing stuff. He ends up saying he wants me to take this pill for my depression but it's really expensive, I don't think anyone explained my situation to him. I tell him that I won't be able to afford it. He simply apologises and says that he hopes I find a forever family. I'm thinking the same thing too buddy. When he leaves my social worker arrives only 10 minutes later, she's got my suitcase with all my stuff in it.

"Hi Gracie, I'm sorry love it's time to go." I take a deep breath and nod. After I change into some normal clothes, I thank my nurse and head to Montgomery house. The car ride isn't very long, or maybe it just feels that way. When we arrive, I find it difficult to get out of the car. "Come on Gracie don't make this difficult for yourself." I decide to grin and bear it. I'll stay out of everyone's way, I can handle this, it's just until I'm old enough to get my own place. I'll be okay.

We walk to the front door and I can hear someone screaming inside. I take a step back. I'm petrified. Anita pulls me forward and knocks. After a few seconds a woman comes to the door, she's out of breath.

"Ah, you must be Gracie, welcome!" She opens the door and I take a step inside.

"I'll check in on you tomorrow," Anita says, she walks away, and the woman closes the door behind me. A girl runs past me screaming her head off, she's completely naked. I'm panic-stricken. "Oh, don't mind Jessica, she'll calm down soon. Anyway, I'm Nancy, she shakes my hand. Another girl runs past, fully clothed, thankfully, she's mumbling something to herself. "I'll show you your room, we've put with Cara, she's very friendly, quite quiet, you'll be okay here." We start to walk upstairs when there's a loud thud followed by a lot of shouting. Nancy rolls her eyes. "Wait here." She leaves me standing in the middle of the staircase. Two more girls run past me shouting at each other about someone stealing something. I thought my old home was bad. Another woman chases after them, she stops when she sees me.

"You must be Gracie, where's Nancy gone?" She looks around. "Never mind, come with me." She leads me upstairs. "This is your room." She opens the door to reveal a simple room with only two beds and two dressers, nothing on the walls, only a dull cream coloured paint. There's another thud from downstairs. "I'm sorry, I've got to go, unpack your things. She closes the door and locks it, leaving me to panic even more. I lay down on one of the beds, it has no sheets on it, so I assume it's mine. I breathe through my anxiety. I've put myself in the worse situation imaginable, what if someone doesn't like me, everyone here is crazy, someone might actually hurt me. I hear a knock on the window behind my bed, I jump and turn around to see Callie and Sophia, they've climbed up on the roof of the garage. That's when I notice the window is barred, but still openable. I slide it up.

"What are you doing here?" I say to them. I reach out to hold Sophia's hand. I start crying.

"We tried to come to the hospital, why did you do that G?" Sophia asks.

"I wasn't trying to do that, I swear, it just went wrong." She starts crying too.

"Listen we can't stay long, we just wanted to give you this." Callie hands me an old cell phone through the bars. "Keep it hidden, if they find out you have it, you'll be even worse off than you are now."

"Thank you." I shove it into my boot. "I don't know what to do, the girls here are crazy, I'm terrified."

"You'll be okay, I promise. You'll see Callie tomorrow at school, my dad spoke to your social worker, you're being transferred to Anchor Beach." Sophia says.

"Gracie?" I hear Nancy yell.

"Go, she's coming." I slide the window shut and sit down on my bed as they scramble down off the roof. Nancy unlocks the door.

"Sorry about that," she comes to sit next to me, "Some of the girls here are very difficult."

"It's okay," I say under my breath.

"Listen, I know it's scary, but you'll be okay, you just have to keep your head down and do your chores, and you'll be going back to school tomorrow. Your doctor thinks it will be best for you to get stuck in, but don't worry you're not going to the same school as the other girls, they couldn't make a place for you, but I made some calls and got you into Anchor Beach, it was all because of your good grades, so make sure you keep those up. I'll be driving you in the bus with the other girls, just sit near the front okay? You'll be eating in the blue kitchen today, then once you're more settled in, you'll be in the brown kitchen with the calmer girls."

"Why do I have to go in the blue one to begin with?"

"It's more monitored, we have to make sure you don't try anything, in the brown kitchen you have a lot more freedom." I nod. "You'll be okay, and I'm sorry about the whole door locking thing, but you have your own bathroom, so that's something. Feel free to sit up here for a while, I'll come and get you at dinner time, then after dinner you have to help clean up and then we have group where you'll meet your roommate and then you have to go to your room and lights out at 9." She sees the expression on my face. "You'll get through it, now, try and get some rest." She leaves and locks me in. I look over to the dresser, on top there is a folded stack of bedding. I make my bed and get in. The sheets feel rough and cold, completely unwelcoming. But she's right, I can get through this. I'm strong. And at least I can go to school with Callie, she's two grades above me but I can see her at lunch. I fall asleep in the lumpy bed.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up in the horrible dull room with a sore back from the mattress. I look to my right to see a girl asleep in the bed next to me. I guess I slept 'til the next morning. I check the time on the phone Callie gave me, it was still in my boot, it's six o'clock. I go to the bathroom, wash my face and shower and get dressed. My roommate still isn't awake. I start to put my clothes away, twenty minutes later I'm done and there's a knock on the door.

"Wake up girls," Nancy says. The girl groans. I sit on the edge of my bed and wait for the door to be unlocked. The girl sits up and looks over to me.

"Hi, I'm Cara, don't worry, I'm not as crazy as the other girls here, I guess that's why they put you with me."

"So why are you here then?" I ask boldly.

"I have Bipolar Disorder, I'm on meds for it though. My parents pay for it, but they don't love me enough to look after me themselves." She heads in the bathroom to shower. She comes out 5 minutes later and starts getting dressed in front of me like it's no big deal, I could never do that. "What are you in for?" She turns to me in her underwear.

"I have PTSD and Depression." She has a 'is that all' look on her face. "I accidentally tried to kill myself the other day, but to be fair I've tried to kill myself on purpose a few times. My parents loved me but they're dead, so I don't get to take pills." She starts putting her clothes on.

"Sucks for you." There's another knock on the door, Nancy unlocks it.

"Oh good, you're both ready. Let's go." I grab my backpack from my suitcase and we go downstairs to the bus.

"What about breakfast?" I ask Nancy.

"You're on the breakfast programme, you'll eat at school."

Some of the girls don't get on the bus with us, they sit staring at us from the window. I do as Nancy said and sit at the front, Cara sits on the seat across from me. Nancy tells me as she's driving that she didn't want to wake me yesterday because she knew I had a rough night. I get dropped off first. One girl tries to get off with me but Nancy yanks her back and yells at her, she sits back down in her seat. "Good luck Gracie." She says, closing the door and leaving me alone at this new school. I look down at the map that Nancy gave me, I'm supposed to go to the vice principal's office. I remember Sophia saying that one of Callie's moms is the vice principal here, she said she's really nice. I follow the map but get a little lost and end up by a classroom door surrounded by other kids standing around at their lockers, a boy comes over to me.

"You look a little lost, are you new?" He's got cute little dimples and he's wearing a striped t-shirt.

"Uh yeah, I'm Gracie, I'm supposed to go to the vice principal's office."

"Oh, you're Gracie, I'm Jude, Callie's brother." We shake hands.

"Oh yeah I've heard about you, I've heard about your whole family actually." We start walking.

"Awesome, well we're in the same grade so if you get lost or anything, Callie put my number in your phone, so you can just text me. Here, this is my mom's office."

"Thanks, Jude, I'll see you later?" He nods and smiles. I knock on the door of the office.

"Come in." I hear a soft voice say. I open the door to reveal a homely room, there's even a couch, it doesn't feel like a scary school office. Callie is sat there with a beautiful woman, she has incredible hair, I'm guessing that's Lena."

"Hi Gracie," Lena stands up and shakes my hand, Callie gets up and hugs me, "Take a seat." I sit on one of the armchairs opposite the couch, they sit down too.

"Are you nervous?" Callie asks.

"Yeah, but I'll be okay, I just met Jude actually, he's in my grade."

"Yeah, I have your schedule," she hands me a piece of paper, "You're in a few classes with him."

"Awesome, thank you."

"How was your first night?" Callie asks.

"I slept from the moment I got to my bed until this morning, but when I got there it was pretty scary, the girls there are so unusual."

"Well you should know you can come and talk to me or the guidance counsellor whenever you need to, here," she hands me a small card, "give this to your teacher if you need to get out of the classroom."

"Thanks."

"You can talk to me too, and I'll introduce you to my brothers and sister at lunch time."

"You better go grab some breakfast," Lena says. I nod and say thank you one more time. I get the map back out of my pocket and find my way to the cafeteria. There are not many kids in there, I go and grab a slice of toast and a fried egg. I sit on my own on the end of a long table. I look at my schedule for the day. First, I have homeroom and then Math, then double English, then at 1 it's lunchtime, after lunch, I have Gym and Physics.

It wasn't difficult finding my way to homeroom, and luckily, Jude is in that class with me. I notice an empty desk behind him, so I rush to go and take it. He turns around and smiles at me. Our teacher is really nice, he's called Timothy, I still can't get over the fact that they call their teachers by their first names here. He introduces me to the class, but I don't have to stand up which is great because last time I started a new school I had to stand at the front of my class and talk about myself for like ten minutes, I'm pretty sure I bored everyone to death. Timothy only makes me say my name and my age. I wonder if that's how the school works or if Lena asked him not to make me speak to the class.

After homeroom Jude introduces me to his friend, Taylor, she seems nice, if a little odd, but who am I to judge. Taylor takes me to my Math class because she's in it too. After that, she takes me to meet Jude for double English. I like English because it's really relaxed, we're doing Shakespeare, so we had to pair up and read from the play Macbeth, Jude and I read together. After two hours of that, Jude tells me that Callie and the rest of his family are waiting for us at lunch. So, we walk together to the Cafeteria, there are a lot more kids in there this time, we get our lunch and go to the outside benches to meet his family, I see Callie and the others sitting at a picnic bench.

"Hey, Gracie!" Callie gets up. "This is Mariana, Jesus and Brandon." She introduces me.

"Hi, guys." Jude and I sit down with them. They all say hey back to me and start chatting away, asking me questions about my parents and how I met Sophia and stuff.

"So how many years have you been in the foster care system?" Jesus asks.

"I guess like almost eight years now." I've never actually thought about how long I've been in the system.

"Wow, that's a long time, we were only in the system for literally a few minutes before Stef and Lena took us in," Mariana adds.

"What about you Brandon?" I ask.

"Uh, actually Stef's my birth mom."

"Oh right, so that must have been pretty weird having all these siblings thrown into the mix?"

"Yeah it was hard at first, but we're a family now." He puts his arm around Jesus and Mariana, they all smile at each other. I feel a pang of sadness as I realise there's no chance of me ever getting a family like this, or a family at all. I suddenly don't feel so hungry anymore.

"Gracie?" Callie says, she can tell by the look on my face that I'm not happy. "Come on, let's go for a walk." She takes my hand and removes me from the situation before I start crying. She walks with me in silence to the beach where we sit down on the dunes. I sob quietly as we stare out to the sea.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise how difficult it would be." She says looking at me.

I wipe my tears away. "No, it's fine, they're all great, I guess I just didn't think I'd ever meet a family I wanted to be a part of." I laugh, she laughs with me.

"That's how I felt when I met them, well admittedly not at first, but once I got to know them, I knew they were the family for me."

"Only difference is you actually got to be a part of it all." I get emotional again.

"You'll find your forever family, talk to your social worker, tell her you're willing to meet as many families as it takes." I get she's trying to help but I don't think I have a chance.

"She doesn't let me meet people anymore, that's how I got the first two strikes." She raises her eyebrows at me, waiting for me to tell her the story. "Well basically the first couple she introduced me to we're so fucking psychotic and I couldn't get why she thought it was acceptable for them to be fostering, so she was setting it all up for me to move in the weekend after I met them, so I tried to kill myself, that was the second time I had tried." She looks at me. "I know it's really dramatic, I was at my worse anyway though, it just pushed me over the line."

"And the second strike?"

"I'll just give you a quick summary, I was in middle of a mental breakdown and she brought the couple and their daughter up to my room and she found me sitting in the middle of the floor with every book in the house around me, I had ripped every single page 7 ripped out of every book and scribbled writing all over them." Her eyes widen like she's never heard anything like it. "Yeah, I don't get it either. Even my counsellor couldn't figure it out. So, I got in a lot of trouble for that."

"But why? That's not your fault."

"My social worker and care worker didn't see it that way. That was when I was 13, and since then nothing like has happened until the other day. So basically, I'm screwed, I haven't met foster parents since the day with the books, Anita basically just gave up on me."

"I'm sorry Gracie." I start crying again, she puts her arm around me and pulls me into her, I cry on to her sweater. I'm never this vulnerable with people, only Sophia. It feels weird to have another friend who I can be myself with, Sophia understands me when it comes to my mental health and stuff, but she could never understand all the foster stuff they way Callie does. We sit there for a while and I end up missing the first part of gym.

"Maybe you should just go sit in my mom's office for this class, you can go to last period?" She suggests.

"Would she be okay with that?" I ask, wiping my tears away.

"Let's go an ask." She stands and reaches for my hand to help me up.

Once we get to the office, Lena is sat at her desk doing paperwork.

"Hey, Lena, would it be okay if Gracie hung out here for a while?" Callie asks as I stand behind her nervously.

"Yes, of course, is everything okay?" Lena welcomes me in.

"Yeah, she's just having a hard day."

"Of course, Gracie, come in." She puts her arm around me and sits me down on the couch.

"I'll see you later," Callie says and leaves.

"Thanks, Lena, it was all getting a bit much," I say, trying to hold back more tears.

"Well, we can ease you into classes a little slower if you like?"

"It wasn't the classes, they were great. It was meeting your family, I just got a little emotional and a little scared." I take a deep breath.

"Oh honey, I get it, it can be difficult seeing something you want so desperately and not being able to grasp it." She's put into words so perfectly and poetically. She hugs me. "I have some paperwork I need to do but you could do a little job for me if you like?"

"Sure!" I'm delighted to help seeing as she's been so kind to me since the moment I arrived. She asks me simply to staple pieces of paper together as she hands them to me. It was really relaxing just sitting in silence doing something so plain and boring, everything in my life is so chaotic right now.


	4. Chapter 4

After helping Lena with her paperwork, I decide to go to Physics. I go to meet Jude where he said, and we go in together. I feel much better now.

"Are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I just got overwhelmed, I'm fine now. Thanks for being so kind to me today, it would have been way worse if I had to handle this on my own."

"Of course, we're friends now." I've never had more than one friend before.

It's gruelling sitting through Physics, I've never been any good at science. But having Jude to help me makes a little more bearable. What's even harder is knowing that I'll have to go back to that house. Maybe if I pick up an extra-curricular activity, I'd be able to stay at school longer. I'll talk to Nancy about it later.

I've been given a lot of homework to do, this school is on a different education board to my old one, so I have a lot of catching up to do, hopefully, my transcripts will come through soon and I can get credits for the work I did before.

At the end of class Jude and I meet Taylor and they walk me to the bus, which looks so different from another perspective. It looks like what it is, a bus full of loonies, and I'm one of them. I say goodbye and thank Jude one last time before taking a deep breath and climbing on board. Cara is sat where she was this morning, so I take the same seat I was in too.

"How was your first day?" Nancy asks from the driver seat.

"It was hard, but I managed."

"What was so hard about it?" Cara asks and sits next to me. I shift a little, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with her.

"Um, there was just a lot of work and a lot of kids." I lie.

"Sounds standard, at least you don't have to go to Bradmoore with this motley crew." She gestures to the girls running amuck at the back of the bus.

"Yeah, I guess." I sit staring out of the window the whole ride back. When we get there, I remember I'll have to eat in the blue kitchen. After I put my bag back in my room, we all have to start setting up for dinner, it's absolute bedlam. One girl keeps trying to stab another with a plastic fork, another girl is slamming plates down on the table, she smashes one and chips a few others, the girl who was naked when I got her is running in circles around the table while one of the staff chases her. I calmly help set the table with the girl who mumbles to herself and the aggressive girl. I don't want to know they're names, I don't want to know what's wrong with them, I just want to stay out of the way. Once the staff have everyone calmed down, we sit down to eat. We're served pasta with tomato sauce. It's not amazing but it's better than I expected. When I'm finished, I'm told I have to stay seated until everyone is done, and I'm given the responsibility of collecting the dirty plates and cutlery and washing them. I'd rather I do than have to watch someone else have a breakdown over it. I do it as fast as I can and sit back down until the rest of the girls have finished clearing up.

Next, we have group, which takes place in the common room, which I haven't seen before. The walls are the same dull colour as my bedroom. There are a few paintings but they're bolted to the wall. There is a circle of chairs, it's pretty similar to the group I attend on Sundays at the hospital with Sophia.

I take a seat between Nancy and Cara. I feel somewhat safe between them.

"Okay, let's go around the circle and talk about our day," Nancy says, she doesn't start with me thankfully, but that means I'm last, and I have even more time to panic about talking about myself in front of these people. Each girl has a pretty similar story, they talk about arguments they had in class, and how one of them got suspended for trying to steal a pair of safety scissors, Nancy punishes her by making her and her roommate have lights out an hour early, which starts a fight between her and her roommate. The mumbling girl talks quietly about the voices in her head. I begin to stop paying attention to what they are all saying until it's my turn.

"Gracie? How was your day?"

"Uh, it was okay, I met some nice people and I did okay in the classes, but I spent the fourth period with the vice principal because I got a little weird."

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I don't know, I got emotional, sad because..." I look around me, "Because I can't have what other kids have."

"None of us can," Cara says.

"Quiet Cara, Gracie's talking. Go on."

"Um, I met my friend's family and I got jealous and stuff, it's petty but it was hard for me."

"Thanks for sharing that Gracie. Okay, that's all for today girls, you can go to the workroom to do your homework now." The girls all push and shove to get out of the common room. Nancy touches my shoulder, I turn to face her. "You're allowed to do your homework in your room, it's only the brown kitchen girls usually, but I think you'll be bumped up pretty soon."

"Thank you." I follow Cara and a few other girls upstairs, Nancy follows and locks us in. I get started straight away, but I can't concentrate. I'm so scared still. I have to endure this place every day. I manage to get a few small assignments and half an essay done before lights out. I have 10 minutes left, so I get into my pyjamas and take my phone into the bathroom, making sure to hide it from Cara. I don't want to risk calling Sophia in case someone hears me talking, so I text her instead. I just update her on everything going on here and what it's like. She's scared for me but she tells me that I can get through anything.

I turn my phone off and sneak it back into the room to hide it, but Cara spots it. I just stare at her.

"Nancy!" She shouts.

"No, please don't!" I whisper. "I need this, I can't survive here if I don't talk to my friend."

"Nancy!" I begin to panic. She runs to the door and starts pounding on it, shouting for Nancy over and over. I didn't take her as this kind of girl. I rush around frantically trying to think of something to do, but it's too late. Nancy unlocks the door.

"What is it?" She's out of breath.

"She has a phone." Cara says folding her arms.

"I don't I swear." I hold it behind my back, but it doesn't fool her. She grabs my arm and takes the phone from me.

"You've broken two rules, first the phone, then telling me a bare-faced lie. The girls in this house aren't allowed phones for a reason. We're trying to help you, Gracie." I start to cry. "Don't give me that, after school tomorrow, you're out of here." I didn't think she could be cruel, I thought she was nice. She leaves the room locking us. "Lights out." She yells from the other side of the door.

I don't know how to feel, I wanted to get out of here but now I have nowhere to go, I'll be placed in an emergency foster home. I've been in them before, they're all almost as bad as this place. They lock me in, sometimes don't even give me food or let me use the bathroom. Cara shoots me an evil look before getting into bed. I knock the lights off and get into my bed.

I lie awake, more scared than I was when I got here, now I can't even talk to anyone about it. I don't sleep for the entire night. I get dressed early again and wait for Nancy to unlock the door. When she finally does, she doesn't smile the way she did yesterday, she doesn't look like the same welcoming person anymore.

I get to school and meet Jude again, he comes to breakfast with me, he can tell something's up, but I don't want to talk about it with him right now. He takes me to get the key to my new locker and to homeroom. I sit with my head in my arms on my desk, staring out of the window. All my classes go the same, I don't do any of my work, what's the point? I'm only gonna fall behind again.

At lunch, I decide to talk to Lena. When I get there, I can tell she knows what happened. I see her and I break down. She ushers me inside and sits me down. I'm guessing Robert managed to find out what was happening to me.

"I've been in emergency care before," I cry, "It's awful they treat you like you're a worthless animal." She lets me ramble on about how much of a mess my life is, then she lifts my chin so I'm looking at her.

"I'm going to try and help you, I know a few social workers, I can try and find you a safe place, don't be scared because you're going to be okay." She hugs me. "I think it's best you stay here for the rest of the day, Nancy called and she's having your belongings sent over and Anita is going to pick you up at the end of the school day, you trust her, don't you?" Even though she wouldn't let me meet more foster families, I do trust her judgement. I nod. "And you trust me?" I nod. "I'll make sure you get to stay at Anchor Beach. This is the best place for you. Now, you look exhausted, why don't you get some sleep? I have to hand a few things to some teachers around the school, so you'll have the room to yourself."

"Thank you." I say quietly. She gathers her papers and leaves. I lay my head down and stare at the room until I finally shut my eyes and fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up to Mariana sitting in a chair across from me. I practically jump out of my skin.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you okay."

"Uh, it's okay, I just wasn't expecting anyone to be in here. And yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I sit up to face her. "It's just really overwhelming, coming to a new school, going to a new house, then being kicked out." I sigh.

"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm so sorry, but hey, maybe your emergency placement won't be as bad you think." She says, it's sweet that's she's hopeful for me, but I'm going to need a lot more than hope.

"I don't know, I've never been to one emergency home that wasn't absolute hell." I rub the sleep out of my eyes. Then I look down to my right and see my suitcase. Someone must have dropped it off. "Do you have the time?" She looks down to her watch.

"3:45, school ended 15 minutes ago but I'm getting a ride with my mom, she's in a meeting. I usually wait here for her, I didn't realise you'd be in here."

"Oh, so I've been asleep for hours. I guess I'll be getting picked up soon."

"Look, Gracie." She gets up and sits next to me. "I know it's terrifying, I was scared when I got fostered, but no matter what, I can tell you're a strong person. Okay? So just keep that, you know, stay that same person, because that person has made it this far, and there's no use in giving up now."

"Thank you. I've received more support in this school than I have in my whole life." I can't fathom the fact that so many people are rooting for me.

"That's because you matter. Just as much as the rest of us do." I look at her deep brown eyes and see a friend. She hugs me. Suddenly the door opens, in walk Lena and a police officer with short blonde hair. Is she taking me to my new foster home?

"Gracie, this is Stef, my wife." They sit down in the armchairs.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. Don't worry, I'm just here to talk." I take a deep breath, I'm okay. "I sometimes work in liaison with the school, so if you feel unsafe or scared in your emergency placement then simply talk to Lena, she'll call me, and I can help. Hopefully, that's not the case," More hope. "But as long as you're at this school, you have people to talk to." It does help, I do feel safer and more prepared already.

"What if I have to move schools?" I ask.

"I've spoken to your social worker and she's agreed to find you a local placement, so you won't be taken out of Anchor Beach," Lena replies. I get a tear in my eye.

"Thank you so much." Maybe I will be alright after all. The door knocks. We all immediately stand up.

"Come in?" Lena says. Anita walks in, with that look on her face, the same one she has every time I get moved. It's a mixture of pity and disappointment.

"Are you ready?" She asks. I nod. Mariana hugs me.

"Thanks again, I'll see you tomorrow," I say to all of them. I grab my suitcase and follow Anita to her car. She doesn't talk until we start driving.

"You're being placed with a couple called John and Mary, there's nothing in their file to discredit them, they've taken on emergency placements before and they have an adopted daughter called Rachel, she's very friendly and you'll be sharing a room with her." I nod along, pretending I'm perfectly happy.

Again, the car ride feels very short. When we arrive at the house, it looks beaten down and old. The paint is almost completely peeled off and the porch door is held up by one hinge, the front garden looks like a jungle of weeds and dead flowers. I decide to make this go as quickly as I can, because it's an emergency placement I won't be here very long, just until a new group home is found, or if Anita changes her mind and lets me meet more potential long-term foster parents. I pull my suitcase out of the back seat and walk quickly with Anita to the front door. She was about to knock but I beat her to it. The door opens almost instantaneously. In front of us stands a happy looking couple and a teenage girl, maybe a year or two older than me.

"Hi, come in!" The woman says, she looks like a pretty normal happy woman.

"I have another client to deal with, so, unfortunately, I can't come in, but you'll be okay? Right, Gracie?" Anita says. I take a moment before putting on a fake smile and nodding like an idiot. "Good luck." She says and walks back to her car texting away. Mary puts her arm around me and welcomes me into her home.

"I'm Mary, this is my husband John and our daughter Rachel. I'll show you around, dinner will be ready soon." She says.

"I'll go check on the chicken," John says.

"I'll help," Rachel says, and follows him to the other side of the house.

Mary shows me the living room, the study, the kitchen, the dining room and the bathroom. Finally, she shows me the room I'll be sleeping in. It's pretty nice, there's a big double bed beneath the window and air bed on the floor in the corner. The room is decorated in a hippy boho way, the interiors of this house don't quite match up to the exterior. I think this place is a good one.

"Would you like me to help you unpack? We still don't know how long you'll be with us." She sits on the edge of her daughters' bed.

"I'm okay thank you, would it be alright if I had a little time alone? It's been a weird day."

"Sure honey, I'll go check on dinner. You come down when you're ready. Rachel cleared a few drawers for you. "She points to a dresser next to my mattress. She starts to walk out. I sit down on the air mattress and unzip my suitcase. "Oh, before I forget." She comes back, pulling something out of her pocket. "This is yours." She hands me the phone that Callie and Sophia gave me. "Nancy dropped it off earlier, she told me only to give it to you if you were well behaved but, I think we'll get on just fine." She smiles at me.

"Thank you," I say as she heads out of the room, closing the door behind her. I listen for the sound of a lock turning but there's nothing. I don't feel at all like I'm in danger, I feel safe for the first time in a while. I unpack all of my clothes and fold them neatly, putting them in somewhat of a system in the drawers. I put my phone and my notebook next to my bed. I look around the room, there's a lot of pictures. There's one on the table next to Rachel's bed. It's of her and her parents, in fact, all of the pictures of her and her parents, there's none with any friends or a boyfriend. Just her and the family.

She has a lot of pretty things too, the cushions on her bed all tie together perfectly, the plants are placed so elegantly, and all her little ornaments and decorations tell a story. She's definitely friendly, there's nothing here to say she's unhappy or anything like that. I decide to go downstairs for dinner with them

They sit at the dinner table to eat, like a real family. But they don't talk they sit in silence, all I can hear is the sound of knives and forks scratching plates. I look to Rachel's plate and then look at mine, and John and Mary's. She's barely eaten a thing compared to the rest of us.

"Just have a few peas, Rae," John says.

"I'm not that hungry, I had a banana before we sat down." She says as she places the fork down next to her plate. Her parents sigh and continue eating. The rest of the meal goes the same as it started, complete silence. When we finish, Mary takes the plates from the table, giving John a look when she picks up Rachel's.

"Why don't you go and show Gracie how the TV works?" Mary says to Rachel.

"Sure, come on." She smiles at me and takes my hand, leading me to the living room. We sit down on the couch where she lets go of my hand and picks up the remote. She shows me all the channels they have, and how to switch between the DVD player and TiVo. She puts something on Comedy Central, but she lowers the volume. "So how did you end up in the foster system? Your mom an alcoholic or something?"

"No actually, my mom died when I was born, and my dad killed himself when I was seven."

"Oh, deep, sorry. That must suck." She crosses her legs.

"Yeah, it does. But I'm like okay, I guess. I mean I got pretty depressed. I guess I still am, but I'm actually pretty good right now."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah. Um, so what about you? You were adopted right?"

"Yeah, my mom was an alcoholic." She laughs. "And I never knew my dad."

"Oh, that sucks too, but hey at least you have John and Mary now." I cross my legs too.

"They're alright, like I love them but they're a little overbearing sometimes. I've been with them since I was five so we're like a real family now. They adopted me when I was ten." She turns the volume back up and we watch Friends for an hour or two, then I decide I should get some homework done, and call Sophia. I go up to my temporary bedroom, closing the door behind me. I dial Sophia's number and she picks up after one ring.

"Gracie! Oh my God, I was so worried, Callie told me about you getting kicked out of Montgomery for having your phone, I'm sorry it's all my fault."

"Calm down Sophia, it's not your fault at all, it was my mine. I was careless. But it's okay, I have it back now, I'm okay."

"You're really okay? What's the emergency placement like?" She still sounds worried.

"It's great actually, they have a daughter, she's nice. I'm sharing a room with her. The parents are nice too. Dinner was a little weird, they didn't talk at all."

"That is weird. But you're really okay though? Like really really okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good Soph."

"And you haven't? You know?"

"No, no, not since that day, I promise you, I'm doing good."

"Will I be able to see you? I don't think I can wait until Sunday at group therapy."

"I don't know, I'll ask Mary tomorrow."

"Okay, well I'm glad you're okay, text me in the morning yeah? I have to go I have-"

"Homework? Me too. Speak to you soon, love you."

"Love you G." We hang up at the same time. I feel even safer knowing I can talk to my best friend. I hear a knock at the door, Rachel comes in.

"Hey, mom said we should do our homework and get some sleep soon." She goes and sits on her bed.

"Cool, I have a lot of work to catch up on."

She sits down on her bed, pulling her backpack up with her from the floor. I do the same.

"Is it cool if I put some music on?" She asks. I nod. She gets up and plugs her iPod into a small speaker. She plays a song by Demi Lovato, it's called Warrior. I love this song.

"You like Demi?" I ask.

"Yeah, she's awesome, some of her stuff is a little deep but I like it. You a fan too?"

"Yeah, she's an incredible role model, the way she turned her life around is inspiring." She nods. "Rachel, can I ask you something?"

"You can call me Rae, and sure, go for it."

"Would your mom be cool if I met a friend after school tomorrow? I haven't seen her since our last group meeting and we never go this long without seeing each other."

"Um, I don't see why not. Is she like your girlfriend or something?" She asks awkwardly.

"No, just my best friend. I'm not seeing anyone. Are you?"

"No. I got dumped last week." She looks sad.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I hope you're okay."

"I've been better."

"What was he like?"

" _She_ , she was awesome, at least I thought she was." I suddenly see her in a different light. I notice how pretty she is. I haven't had any trace of feelings for anyone for a while. I'm not saying I like Rae, I'm just saying she's pretty. "I don't really wanna talk about it if that's okay, I have a project to work on."

"Oh sure, sorry." We both return to our homework and listen to Demi. After working for a while, I take a shower in Rae's bathroom and head to bed. When I get back into the room, I see she's in her underwear.

"I sleep like this, is that okay?" She laughs, getting into her bed.

"Uh yeah, fine by me. It's your room." I get into my bed too. She turns the lights out.


	6. Chapter 6

The morning is a lot more relaxed than the last few I've had. Rae and I took turns in the bathroom, got dressed and had breakfast. It wasn't as formal as dinner, I had a slice of toast while I rushed to get my things together.

"Rae, your bus is outside, go!" Mary says ushering her daughter out of the front door.

"John, can you drive Gracie? I have a few things to do around the house before I head to work."

"Sure, come on Gracie, I'm running late too." I take the last bite of my toast and get in John's car. It's pretty nice. He chats to me as he drives, asking about what my favourite classes are and if the kids are nice. He seems like a really good guy, making my situation feel even better. "Have fun today kid, I'll pick you up at 3.30."

"Oh, I was meant to ask, is it okay if I meet a friend after school? I'm sure her dad will drive me back after."

"Yeah, sure I don't see why that would be a problem, here, put my number in your phone." He hands me his brand-new iPhone 7 plus, and I insert my number. "Are you having dinner with your friend?" He asks as he takes the phone from me. He touches my hand in a weird way, but I just ignore it.

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

"Yeah sure, I'll let Mary know."

"Thanks, John, see you later." I get out of the car and watch him drive away. The first thing I do is text Sophia and tell her I'm all good to meet. We decide to meet at the diner. I go meet Jude at my locker and we start the day. At lunch, he tells me he's gotta turn in a few late assignments, so he says he'll meet me at my locker for English class. So, I decide to text Callie and ask if she wants to have lunch with me. We meet outside on the bench we were on before. She's with Mariana.

"Hey, how's the new home?" She asks.

"It's good, the family are really nice. They didn't lock me in or anything. They have a daughter, she's really friendly."

"That's awesome, does she go here?" Callie asks me as I sit down.

"No, I think she goes to an all-girls school."

"God I could never do that," Mariana says, imagining life without boys. "So, you're doing good?"

"Yeah I am, it sucks it's just a temporary home, but it makes me think that not all emergency homes are bad."

"Good." They both smile at me. We end up talking about normal teenage things. Then they end up talking about their boyfriends.

"Mat can be a little too masculine sometimes, like when I wanna shop or something he's like really weird about it, he just stands around saying stuff like 'yeah, cool, pretty'" She mimics him.

"Well, I'm not much of a shopper but when I ask AJ if I look okay, he just kind of looks at me." They laugh.

"What about you Gracie? You got a special guy?" I think about whether or not to tell them.

"No, not really," Then I just say it, "I'm not into guys, I like girls."

"Well, have you got a special girl then?" I could say that I may have a tiny crush on my foster sister, but I don't think I should.

"Uh no, I don't think it's a good time for a relationship right now anyway."

"Yeah, you're probably right, but if someone comes along that you like, don't turn her away. Give it a chance." Callie says. I nod.

I spend the rest of the day in classes with Jude and Taylor, then last bell rings and I start walking. Jude, Callie, Jesus, Mariana and Brandon catch up to me.

"Hey, where're you going?" Jesus asks.

"Um, I'm meeting Sophia at the diner."

"Cool, we'll walk with you, our house is on the way," Jude says, and we all walk together, I talk to Brandon a little. He tells me about his music and stuff. I try to relate by telling him I played the violin when I was a kid, but he just laughs and tells me how different the two instruments are. We reach their house and they all say bye to me, Callie tells me to have fun with her sister.

I get to the diner and Sophia is already sitting outside waiting for me.

"Hey!" She gets up and hugs me. "I got you cheese fries and a strawberry shake, your favourite!" We sit down together.

"Thanks, Soph, I've been craving these for days!" I dig in.

"So, what's the girl like? Is she hot?" Sophia's the only one, apart from Callie and Mariana now, who knows I'm gay.

"Sophia!" I blush a little.

"She is, isn't she?"

"Yeah a little, I guess, but she's my foster sister, it wouldn't work." I laugh at my friend and her crazy mind.

"Yeah, you're right. But maybe when you find your forever family, you'll be able to like start something?"

"I won't rule it out, but I want to focus on being happy and having a good home before I start seeing people. I'm only 14 anyway. I've got my whole life ahead of me." She smiles at me in a weird way. "What?"

"You've never like, spoken like that."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you know you have a good future. You haven't ever said that you like, wanna live, you know?" I guess she's right, I do want to see what the future holds. I smile at her. We sit for a few hours talking about what I've missed on all our favourite reality shows and what I've missed in her family. Her dad wants to go to Spain, her mom wants to go to Paris, and she wants to go to Hawaii. "Sorry, your problems are way worse than mine."

"No, no it's fine. I like hearing about normal things."

"Actually, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but my parents said that if you're social worker lets you, you can come with us. We're going for two weeks in July."

"No way? I mean, I won't get my hopes up but that would be awesome." I can't help but get my hopes up a little, maybe I will get lucky.

We continue talking for a while, then her dad picks us up. He asks me the same old questions, how's the new home, are you feeling okay, all that stuff. He drops me at the house.

When I get inside only John is home. "Mary's working late then going for drinks with her friends, and Rachel's staying at a friend's house. So, it's just me and you."

"Oh okay, well I have a lot of homework so-"

"Don't be silly, come and watch TV with me." I awkwardly walk over to the couch and sit next to him. "You into baseball?" He asks with a mouthful of popcorn.

"Not really, I don't know much about sports."

"I wouldn't think a pretty girly-girl like you would be into sports." I blush at the compliment. "Do you like to dance?" He turns on Dancing With The Stars.

"I don't know, Sophia and I mess around sometimes. I love this show though."

"Would you ever be able to move like that?" He points to a woman dancing a very cell block tango-esque dance. I suddenly feel uncomfortable.

"Umm, I don't think so." I laugh awkwardly, I start to feel hot.

"Come on, you must have some moves, a sexy girl like you." He slides closer to me.

"I have homework." I remove myself from the awkward situation and run upstairs closing the door behind me. Why was he talking to me like that? He's like 40. I decide not to do my homework and I go to bed. Then the door knocks, and I don't feel so safe anymore. John comes in and turns the light on. He sits on the end of my mattress. I sit up, hugging my knees and avoiding eye contact.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to feel confident, you seem very insecure."

"No, it's fine, I'm okay." I lie.

"Because you are beautiful and want you to make sure you know that." He slides closer again, putting his hand on my leg. He rubs it slowly, making me shiver. I feel sick to my stomach. He suddenly leans in to kiss me, but I stand up and push him off.

"What are you doing?" I shout at him.

"Come on don't be like that." He walks over to close the door. "We can make this work."

My breath speeds up, he makes me sit down. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.


	7. Chapter 7

**So, this chapter is a little detailed, so I'll leave a trigger warning here.**

I lay curled up in a ball completely naked on the cold wood floor. John puts his pants on and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. I feel dirty, worthless like I'm nothing. This is the worse feeling. Did I deserve it? Did I lead him on? I scan my brain for a reason that this happened, it always comes back to me. Something's wrong with me, I'm not supposed to have a good life. I'm not supposed to be happy.

I can't let my life be this way. I have to do something. I listen to make sure John's gone downstairs. I quietly put my clothes on, followed by my shoes. I empty the books out of my backpack and fill with as many clothes as it can fit. I put my hoodie on and go to the window.

It's a long way down but if I swing over to the drain pipe I can slide down. I make sure to be completely silent as I hike my legs up and out of the window. I'm standing on the ledge of the window. I reach over to the pipe, it's a little slippery but I can do it. I grasp it with both hands and step on to the brackets holding the pipe in place. I slowly slide down to the next one, I'm about two metres from the ground when I lose my footing and plummet to the long weedy grass. I keep silent even though the pain in my shoulder is unbearable. I scramble to my feet and bolt. I run through the streets of San Diego, unsure of where to go. I could go to Sophia's, but it's on the other side of town. I could go to school, but no one will be there. I suddenly see Callie's house in my mind. It's hard to remember the route but I cut through a few alleyways and find myself on their long street. I keep sprinting until I get up to their front porch.

I take a second before knocking on the door. What if they turn me away? What if they send me back? I don't have a choice, this is my only option. I pound on the door and ring the doorbell. I'm in tears and covered in mud. Stef opens the door and looks at me.

"I didn't know what to do," I say quietly through my tears. I see Callie come down the stairs behind her.

"Gracie?" She comes to the door. She sees the state I'm in and pulls me into a hug. I flinch from the pain in my shoulder, but I embrace the hug anyway

Lena brings me a cup of hot tea as Callie and I sit on their sofa. She has her arm around me and she's holding my hand. Stef and Lena sit opposite. The setting feels much like Lena's office at school.

"Are you ready to talk?" Stef asks. We've been sat in silence for almost an hour, it's one in the morning. "Remember, I'm a cop, I can help." She says. I sit upright, still holding Callie's hand.

"When I got back to the house, it was just John there and I sat down with him to watch TV and," I take a deep breath.

"It's okay Gracie, go on," Callie says.

"He started acting weird towards me, sliding closer to me. He told me I was pretty, and uh, that I was um, sexy. And I went upstairs to get away from him and I went to bed, but he followed me and told me he wanted me to feel confident because I'm beautiful. Then he tried to kiss me." I choke on my words. "And I pushed him off, but he didn't stop. He-" I burst into tears and start hyperventilating.

"Did he touch you, love?" Stef asks. I nod, trying to breathe through my panic attack. I cry louder than I ever have. Callie hugs me again, rocking me back and forth. She tells me to take deep breaths. Lena gets me a glass of ice water. I take baby sips in every little break I have, but it goes on for about 20 minutes. By this point, the rest of the Adams-Fosters are standing in the hallway, watching me.

"Boys go to bed, Mariana can you set up the guest bed for Gracie." They all nod and leave. "You're staying with us tonight. We won't let anything happen to you." Stef comes and sits on my other side and hugs me. I finally start to calm down. She brushes my hair behind me, then touches my neck. "Gracie, you have bruises on your neck, was this him?" I nod. I show her the ones on my hips and my arms.

"And um, I jumped out of the window and fell on my shoulder," I say in a much calmer, quieter voice. I stand up and show her.

"Okay, we'll take you to get that checked tomorrow, Callie, take Gracie to your room. Try to get some sleep okay."

Callie takes my hand and walks me upstairs. She shows me the beautiful room she shares with Mariana, she's sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey," She says in a soft voice, "Do you need any more blankets?" She asks. I look at the pop-up bed and see about four pillows and a bundle of blankets.

"No, thank you." I climb into the bed and pull the blankets over me. Callie and Mariana get into their bed, Callie reaches to turn the lamp off. "Um, Callie, can you leave it on please?"

"Sure, night."

I curl up in a little ball again and stare at the wall. Feeling empty and cold inside. I still don't feel safe. I try to fall asleep, but I just see John, hovering over me. So, I lay there, still staring at the wall, for the whole night. I watch the daylight come through the cracks on either side of the blinds. Another sleepless night.

Callie and Mariana both wake to the sound of their alarms. I sit up.

"Morning, wanna come down for breakfast." It doesn't feel like it's been six hours since Callie was saying good night."

"Okay." I get out of the bed and follow the girls down for breakfast. I'm still in last night's clothes while everyone else is dressed for school. Stef's in her cop uniform again.

"Morning girls, did you sleep okay Gracie?" Lena asks. I sit down in between Callie and Jude.

"Not really," I say honestly. Stef puts down a plate of waffles in front of me. I just stare at it. "Thanks." I'm not hungry at all but I take a few bites to just to be polite.

"Mama can't drive you today so you'll have to drive yourselves," Stef says to everyone. "Gracie, your social worker is coming over at lunchtime. I'll be back on my lunch break, so you'll have both of us here with you." I nod as I take a breath.

"We're gonna be late," Callie says. "Good luck Gracie, I'll see you later." They all grab their backpacks and head out. I stay sat at the breakfast bar.

"I have to go to work, by my love." Stef kisses Lena. "I'll see you later Gracie." She leaves with her travel mug of coffee. I'm still staring at my plate.

"Not hungry?" I shake my head. "That's okay." She takes it away from and sits down next to me. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you I'm okay."

"Do you want to talk a little more? You're going to have to tell a detective or a cop at some point."

"I told Stef though."

"It needs to be in a more formal setting, probably in a police station. But if you can tell me everything now, it might make it easier to tell it again." I nod to her.

"Okay, well I told you the start of it. Um, he like made me sit down on the bed and took my shirt off. I tried to fight him but he's really strong. He pushed me back and pinned me down. He took the rest of my clothes off. He put his hand, like on me and then inside of me." I start to cry a little. "And then after that he took his pants off and made me like, touch him back. Then he tried to do more, but I kicked him, in the balls. He pushed me on the floor and left me lying there. And that was it. I climbed out of the window and came here." She puts her arm around me. "I can't help but feel-" I sigh, "I feel like I deserved it. Like it happened for a reason."

"No, that's not true. No one deserves to be abused like that." I didn't think of it as abuse until now. "It didn't happen for a reason, the man who did this is a disgusting criminal, we'll make sure he's put away for good." She hugs me. "You'll get through this." I wish she would foster me. I would give anything to be a part of such a loving family. It's not that my dad didn't love me, it's just that he was so depressed all the time that it was like he didn't have time for me. I've never lived in a home where I have someone to depend on. I thought maybe I had finally got it when I got to John and Mary's, but I guess I was wrong.

I sit in the living room with Lena, we watch the news mostly. Then lunchtime comes, along with Stef and Anita. A few minutes later another cop comes to the door.


	8. Chapter 8

"We'll need to take your clothes and it would be really helpful if you were to be examined, this will help prove John guilty in your case." The cop writes things down on a stack of forms. I told him the whole story and he wrote down every word, every little detail.

"I'll do anything to get him sent away."

"So, when will the trial begin?" Stef asks him.

"As soon as we gather the evidence and get the results from the examination, so the sooner we make an appointment the better." He says. "We can take you in today."

"Okay, I agree, the sooner the better."

"I'm going to need to take your clothes." He says.

"Uh, yeah, you can borrow something of Callie's, she's about your size. Come with me." Lena says. The cop hands us a large evidence bag.

Lena gives me a pair of Callie's sweat pants and a plain blue t-shirt. I put them on in the bathroom and put all my dirty clothes in the bag. We go down and I hand the bag to him.

"Thank you. I have all I need, but you should know that this is going to be very difficult for you, but with everything you've told me today, the odds are in your favour."

"So, there is a chance he might not be prosecuted?" Lena asks.

"It all depends on the Judge and the Jury, but all the evidence provided is excellent. Okay, are you ready to go? I can take you or your social worker or-"

"Can Stef and Lena take me?" I ask him, looking at the pair.

"It's fine with us," Stef says.

"Okay, then let's go, Stef you know where the clinic is right?"

"Right, we'll meet you there." I shake his hand and we all set off. I sit in the back seat of Stef's big car. "If you want, one of us can come in with you, if you don't want to be alone."

"No, it's okay. I can do it." I say staring mindlessly out of the window. Once we get there, I feel shaky and anxious. But if I want justice, which I do, then I have to do this. I can't let this happen to anyone else. Stef says my name at the reception and the woman at the desk calls one of the Doctors. He almost instantly comes out and leads us to his office. He asks me a few questions.

"Okay, thank you Gracie, now if you're ready?" I nod. "Great, follow me." I take a look at Stef and Lena who look at me with loving eyes as I follow the doctor into a small examination room. It drags on longer than it actually is and it's uncomfortable, but I just keep thinking of how much good this will do. He takes pictures of my bruises. He asks about how I hurt my shoulder when I'm back out in the office with Stef and Lena and ends up taking me to another room to get an X-Ray.

"Is it broken?" Stef asks him when he comes in with the pictures.

"No, just very bruised, you're gonna want to rest that and wear this." He goes into a cupboard and pulls out a sling. He helps me put it on. We go out into the waiting room where the police officer and Anita are waiting for us.

"Okay, once the results are back, we'll have everything we need for the trial. I'd give it a few weeks before everything's ready." He says.

"Weeks?" Anita asks. "I'm not sure I can find a home for Gracie that will take her for that long. She needs a consistent home, especially at a time like this."

"Well we could take her, as long as it's temporary." Stef says. I feel a tiny spark of happiness inside of me. I look at Lena, who looks a little taken aback, but she agrees anyway. "We still have our foster license, I don't see why it's a problem."

"Okay, well great. I'll send for Gracie's stuff and it'll probably arrive later today."

"And while you were in there, John was arrested, so he's off the streets, but we don't know how long it'll be until someone posts bail for him, so it's good that you have somewhere to stay and be safe Gracie." I'm so relieved I start to tear up. I hug the officer and Anita in thanks, and then Stef and Lena.

"Look Gracie as long as you have somewhere safe to stay, you'll get through this. I can get you meetings with the counsellor at school and you can take as much time off as you need."

"Thank you so much."

When we're driving back Stef and Lena tell me they have to go back to work, but Callie and Brandon have the afternoon off, so they'll be there when I get dropped off. And they are, Callie opens the door to me and we sit down in the kitchen to talk.

"So, there was a lot of questions and I had to tell the story in a lot of detail, and then I got examined and I had to give my clothes to the cops, and I had an X-Ray on my shoulder, it's not broken or anything, but I have to wear this sling for a few days, after that it should be alright."

"I'm so proud of you, it's a step in the right direction. So where are you going to stay?"

"Well," I look around to make sure Brandon's not listening, "Stef and Lena wanted to sit you all down to tell you but, I'm staying here. I'm sorry, your room is cramped enough."

"Are you kidding? No, it's fine, this is great. As long as you're safe. This is going to be good for you, I promise."

"I'm just worried, that I won't get past this. I've read stories online and seen documentaries where girls are messed up forever. What if I end up like that?"

"You won't, you're strong, look how far you've come already. Some people don't even tell people until it's too late. It happened to me and I turned out okay."

"Really? It happened to you too?"

"Yeah, um, I was raped by my old foster brother in his home."

"Oh, wow I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"It's okay, I mean, it's not okay, it took me a long time to work through it and I still think about it sometimes but, I'm strong too. I'm more than what I came from."

"That's incredible. It just goes to show you really can't read a person just by looking at them, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Thanks for telling me, Callie."

"No problem, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, and when you start counselling make sure you say everything on your mind, even if it has nothing to do with the assault, if you keep things bottle up the only get worse. I learnt that the hard way." I smile and thank her. "Hey, mama asked me and Brandon to start dinner but he's a terrible cook, you wanna help?"

"Yeah sure, I'm not so great either but I can try."

"You can be worse than Brandon." She laughs. "Come on." We get up and she gets out a pot and a pan. "Do you like pasta?"

"I love it!"

"Cool, why don't you cut up some tomatoes and stuff, the veg is all in the fridge and the cutting board is under the sink, I'll get started on the pasta."

We start cooking and I slowly start to feel more normal, more sane. I truly have a friend in Callie, and I truly am safe, for the first time in my life.

 **Please follow, favourite and review! New chapters coming soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

Mariana and Jesus get home, and Brandon comes downstairs and they all help us set the table and finish up cooking. I was looking forward to seeing Jude but he's at Taylor's house. The others still don't really know what happened last night, they probably just think I ran away or something. I wonder if they'll ask, or if Stef and Lena will tell them.

"When are moms home?" Callie asks Mariana.

"Mama has a load of paperwork to do because she went in late and I think mom's taking a double." She answers as she sits down, and Callie and I serve everyone their pasta. "This looks really good." Callie smiles at me.

"Why is she taking a double?" Jesus asks. "She only does that when we need more money." I realise that there is probably going to be a few medical and legal bills that go along with my trial. She wouldn't be working overtime for me, would she? I'm not Stef and Lena's responsibility, am I?

We all sit down and eat our dinner together. It's really good, I mean all I did was cut vegetables and stir the sauce, but it was fun doing something so trivial in a normal family home. All I've ever wanted was to be normal, I'm still not, but at least for now I can pretend. They talk about their day, Mariana tells us how she's doing some coding thing for her STEM club, Jesus is dating some girl, Brandon has written two new compositions for his music class this week, and Callie is almost done with her senior project. I think they're expecting me to make some contribution to the conversation, but I don't really want to talk about my day. Especially not in front of the boys, maybe I'll talk about it with Mariana later, but for now I just keep quiet and let them chat away.

"Seriously guys this pasta is amazing. Good job Gracie." Jesus says.

"It was mostly Callie, but thanks. Do you guys make dinner often?" I ask the family.

"I make a mean omelette, but that's where I draw the line." Jesus laughs at himself.

"I'm an awful cook," Brandon says.

"We know." The rest of the family say in unison.

"Me and my friend tried cooking for Mat and Jesus once, and I thought the soup was hot, so I started blowing it to cool it down, and then Mat pointed out that it's cold and I thought maybe we should microwave it, but turns out, it's supposed to be cold." Mariana blushes a little as she tells me the story.

"And all I can cook is pasta and oven food. I cooked for me and Jude when we were growing up, so I had to learn a little, but the homes we were in never had like, real food so it was always pretty plain, but as long as we were healthy it didn't really matter."

"That's really admirable," I add. "I can make cakes and stuff, but not without a decent recipe. My mom liked to bake, she left some of her recipes but..." I remember my past, "but um they got stolen in one of the homes I was in." Everyone goes quiet. I try to keep eating like I'm fine, but I can't help it when my eyes well up.

"I've had some of my stuff stolen too, it sucks." Callie comforts me.

"Yeah, the girl who took the recipes also took the only pictures I had of my parents, I can barely remember their faces. Sorry, I'm getting a little deep. I think I'll just go upstairs." Stand up and put my plate in the sink,

"Sure, um there's clean towels in the bathroom if you want to take a shower," Mariana tells me.

"And you can borrow any of my clothes than you want," Callie adds.

"Thanks, guys, you've been so nice to me." I smile and go upstairs, saving my tears until I'm behind the closed door.

I go into the bathroom, I don't quite cry, I just let the tears fall down my face. I quickly figure out how to use the shower and I don't rush. I sit in the bottom, just thinking. I'm going to have to be okay, I'm going to have to keep my emotions out of the trial. If I need someone to talk to, I have Sophia, I have Callie, and I'll have a counsellor as soon as I go back to school. I could go back tomorrow, and try and be normal, or I could wait a while and go back when I'm ready. But if I wait a while and rock up one day, kids will notice and might start something. I've been bullied before and I don't want that to happen again, but I suppose things couldn't get much worse. I'm already depressed, I've been sexually abused, I've been beat on, had my stuff stolen, the list goes on.

As I let the hot water run over my body, I look around me, even the bathroom is homely. I feel warm on the outside and also on the inside. This family, that I was jealous of at the start of the week, have taken me in. I have people who actually care about how I end up. Even if this family isn't my forever family, at least I have them for a little while. And I highly doubt they will be my forever family, but I think maybe, just maybe, I deserve a little bit of happiness.

I look to my right and see a photo of Brandon and a man, I assume it's his dad. They're at some music concert, smiling. I have one happy memory with my dad. When I was six my dad had decided he wasn't going to be depressed, it only lasted a day, thinking back to it now, he was probably manic, or his meds had kicked in. Anyway, he took me to the park, then a movie, then we had dinner. I don't know if he was putting on a smile or if for just that day, he was actually okay, but he gave me the best day of my life. The park was old and rusty, the theatre was cold, and our food was bad, but it didn't matter because we were together.

As I flick between these two thoughts, I am both happy and sad. When I get out of the shower, I notice the full-length mirror, I see all the bruises on my body, they've neither gotten worse or better. I notice the faded scars on my arms, and the still fresh cut from my recent accidental suicide attempt, they don't make me sad, not the way the bruises do anyway. The door knocks, and I rush to dry myself off and wrap up in a towel. I open the door to Mariana.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She says. I pass her and go into her room.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks again."

"Okay, want me to help you find some clothes?" She opens the closet she shares with Callie.

"Sure um, just something plain."

"How about this?" She pulls out some jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, it's dark red and covered in pandas, but not in a childish way.

"Yeah, thanks." She hands them to me and I go put them on in the bathroom. I brush out my wet hair with my hands.

"Awesome, they fit really well. You can use my hair dryer if you want?" She pulls it out of a basket under her bed and gives it to me. I just kind of stare at it. "Have you ever used a hair dryer before?" She asks. I'm a little embarrassed as I nod. "Come here, I'll do it." She pulls me over to sit down on the chair in front of her vanity. She plugs in and starts combing through my hair with her pink brush and she starts blow drying. Every now and then she'll stop to talk, she talks about herself which is nice, she tells me more about how she and Jesus got adopted, and she talks about her birth parents a little. I guess this family isn't perfect, but what family is?

Once Mariana is done, we go downstairs and Jude his home. We all go into the living room and watch a movie with the others, they let me pick so I choose Toy Story, I've always loved it. I sit between Callie and Jude leaving Mariana and Brandon on the arm chairs and Jesus on the floor, he doesn't complain though. We all just relax and eat popcorn, another normal thing.


	10. Chapter 10

The movie ends a few minutes before Lena gets home, it's around 8.30 PM. She greets her kids and me.

"Okay, why don't you all go and get some homework in?" Jesus moans but everyone complies.

"I still don't have my school books," I say as I stay seated on the couch.

"That's okay, I wanted to talk anyway." She sits down next to me. "Were you alright after we dropped you off?"

"Yeah, Callie and I made dinner for everyone, well Callie did most of the work, but I helped. Then I took a shower, Callie lent me her clothes and Mariana fixed my hair. You have really great kids. Then they let me pick a movie." I try to smile but it's hard when I still feel so weird.

"That's great. I'm glad to hear you're settling in well. I wanted to ask you about school. Your transcripts arrived today." I see where this is going. "You were already quite a bit behind in some of your classes, and you've missed a lot this week too."

"Yeah, I've never found school easy. Except for English."

"Well, obviously you don't have to go back to school straight away but-"

"No, I think I want to. I don't want to fall behind anymore."

"Are you sure?" I nod. "Okay, well I spoke to a few of your teachers and they agreed you could improve with a tutor, would you be alright with that?"

"Yeah, I think that would be good for me. But, don't you usually pay tutors?" I sigh, feeling guilty enough that I'm taking up room in their home.

"Not necessarily. Mariana could tutor you for science, and Jude can help you with the classes you're in together."

"Really, they wouldn't mind?"

"No, I spoke to Jude earlier today and Mariana loves science, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to help you." I feel relieved.

"Wow, thank you. It really means a lot. Um, I have a question."

"Go for it."

"There's going to be legal bills, and medical bills from today too. How do I pay for it?"

"As long as you're under this roof you won't have to worry about that, money is the least of your worries."

"Is that why Stef took a double shift?"

"That's one reason, but there are other finances." I nod, feeling guilty again. "And listen, as soon as Stef's home, which should be very soon, we're going to tell the kids you'll be with us for a while, do you want to be here when we do?" I kind of want to see if the others want me here or not. So, I agree to stay. "You look pale honey, are you feeling okay?" Truly I still feel sick after last night.

"I'm just tired I guess."

"Why don't you go and lie down, I'll shout for you all when Stef's home okay?"

"Okay, thank you." I get up.

"You don't have to keep thanking us." She smiles, getting up and hugging me.

I walk into Mariana and Callie's room. They're sitting on their beds doing homework.

"Gracie, come and look at this." Callie brings me to her bed. She shows me her laptop.

"What am I looking at exactly?"

"This is Fost&Found, it's a website that Mariana and I built, there's an app that goes along with it too. I thought, maybe you might want to post something on there? Not a lot, maybe just make a profile and give a little background about yourself?" She sees my face. "You don't have to, I just thought... No never mind, it's cool."

"Sorry, I just don't want kids from other homes I've been in to see it, what if somehow John finds me? I'd be screwed."

"Who's John?" Mariana says, I forgot she didn't know.

"Uh no one, just an old foster dad. Sorry again Callie."

"No, it's fine. I totally get it." I go and sit on my bed and start texting Sophia.

I had left my phone in here all day, she's already texted me a million times. I decide to call her instead, taking my phone down to the kitchen to get some privacy.

"Hey." I realise I haven't told her anything.

"Hey, what happened? Callie told me you're staying with her for a few weeks, she told me to ask you why?" I don't want to say it out loud again.

"It just didn't work out." I lie, I hate lying to her.

"Did your foster parents hurt you?" I don't say anything. "G, talk to me."

"Look Sophia, I love you, but I just can't talk about it anymore. You can ask Callie." I hang up on her and bury my face in my hands. She tries to call me back, so I switch my phone off and slam it down on the table. That's when Stef gets home, she comes straight into the kitchen. "Sorry, I'll go." I get up to walk past her, but she stops me.

"No love, you can stay. Are you alright?" I avoid eye contact as she tries to get me to look at her. "Come on honey, sit down." We go and sit at the kitchen table. "Do you wanna talk?" I shake my head and start to get choked up. Then suddenly I burst into tears. "Okay, sweetie I got you." She wraps her arms around me and rocks me back and forth. "You're safe here." We stay like this until I calm down, she brings me a glass of water and we sit in silence for a while and Lena comes in.

"Is everything okay?" She comes and strokes my back.

"Gracie just had a little moment."

"Are you ready for us to tell the others or would you rather wait upstairs while we talk to them?"

"No, it's okay. I'll stay." She gives me a caring smile and calls everyone into the kitchen for a 'family meeting'.

"Did something happen?" Mariana seems panicked.

"No, no nothing like that love. Come on sit down everyone." Stef says ushering them into the kitchen. "We just wanted to let you know that Gracie will be with us for a few weeks, she's got a trial coming up and-"

"Stef." Lena stops her from saying any more, she wasn't supposed to tell them what happened to me.

"A trial, what did you do?" Jesus asks, making me feel awkward.

"Jesus!" Lena shouts.

"It's okay Lena," I say quietly. Maybe if I just tell them I can avoid all the awkward questions and stuff. "Um, last night at John and Mary's, I uh, I was sexually abused." I swallow my fear. "And I got examined today, John got arrested and I have to stand up in court against him." I take a sip of the water. They all go quiet, and they look sad, but not as if they pity me. It's like they hurt for me.

"I'm sorry Gracie, I didn't realise," Jesus says.

"It's okay, you weren't to know." He gets up and comes over to me, taking a second before hugging me. "Thank you." He lets go and sits back down. "I'm okay considering. I don't think I would be if it weren't for you guys. You took me in. No questions asked, and I couldn't be more grateful." I take another sip, dragging it out so they don't expect me to say anything else.

"So, I want you help out a little more around the house, maybe make dinner a little more often, take the trash out when you're asked. That kind of stuff." Stef says. They all nod along, I can't tell if they're just not happy to have me if they're sad for me. But at least I have somewhere I won't get hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

One Saturday morning, after I've stayed with the Fosters for about a week, Stef wakes me up at the crack of dawn, I'm surprised I manage to sleep. She's whispering.

"Hey sweetie, get dressed and come downstairs."

"Okay, is everything okay?" I whisper back, getting up.

"Yeah it's fine, I'll explain when you get down there."

"Sure, give me five minutes." She leaves, and I rush to get off Callie's pyjamas and put on her clothes from yesterday again, I brush through my hair with my fingers and rush downstairs. Stef and Lena are both dressed and waiting in the kitchen for me.

"What's going on?" I stand in the doorway.

"We got a call from your social worker, the judge got in contact with her and there was an opening today to begin your trial."

"Today?"

"Yeah, but if you're not ready, we can wait," Lena says.

"No, I want to get it over with." I walk closer to them. "I want to put him away for good."

"If you're sure?"

"I am, one hundred percent sure."

"Well alright then, let's go." Stef and Lena get out of their seats and lead me to the door, they've left a note for the others to let them know where we are. In the car, Stef tells me about their lawyer and how I should act when I get in there. Then she brings up John.

"He's going to be there, but you won't have to talk to him. He's entitled to a lawyer too, so they might ask you some awkward questions, might try to catch you out."

"So, they're going to try and make it look like I made it up?" I'm shocked that anyone would ever think someone could lie about this.

"Yes, but I believe that if we all stick together then we can win this trial and get him sent down." Suddenly something comes to my mind. Stef and Lena said they would look after me until this trial was over. Maybe it's all going to be over soon, and I'll have to go back to another group home. I push aside my fears for the future and decide to focus on the trial. What's important right now is that this doesn't happen to anyone else. We're about to get out of the car when Stef tells me there's a jacket for me to wear in the seat next to me. "You need to look smart for this." I put on the plain black blazer over Callie's panda shirt. We go inside together.

We sit in a hall outside a small courtroom for a little while, people in black suits carrying briefcases walk past us, some of them look mad, some average, no one looks happy to be in this building. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the glow of bleach blonde hair, I turn my head and see Rachel and Mary walk in with someone in a suit. They're both crying. They walk past us, almost in slow motion, Mary doesn't notice me, but Rachel does, she stares at me. I can't understand how she feels towards me, her eyes convey a mixture of hatred and sorrow, for me. I'm almost in a trance looking at what this has done to that family. It's not my fault though, it's his. Stef and Lena each take one of my hands to pull me out of the moment I'm in. Anita turns up, along with Stef and Lena's lawyer, who introduces herself as Janice.

A bailiff comes over to us to tell us that it's time. He escorts us into the room. There are a few rows of seats, two desks at the front and the judge's podium was high up at the front of the room. On the left, there's the stand, and on the right is the jury. Mary and Rachel are sat on the left side of the aisle, just behind the desk where a man in a suit sits. The lawyer leads me to the right desk and we sit down.

"We'll be right here okay?" Stef and Lena sit behind us. A few other people come in, I don't recognise anyone until Sophia and her parents walk in. She spots me immediately. I get out of my seat and run to her hugging her tightly.

"I'm so happy you're here. I know for sure I can do this now." I say just before we break apart. I greet her parents, they wish me luck and I go back to my seat.

A door at the front of the room opens. I see the man I've been dreading to see. He walks in wearing a stereotypical orange jumpsuit, with his hands cuffed in front of him. He stares at me, with pure fury in his eyes. I look down at my hands. I can do this. He takes his seat next to his lawyer. The bailiff walks to the front of the room.

"All rise." We all stand together. A lady in a black cloak wales in and takes her seat. We all sit down.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, calling the case of Gracie Cooper versus John Stevens. Are both sides ready?" The judge says.

"Ready, Your Honour." Janice stands up.

"Ready, Your Honour." John looks at me from behind his attorney.

"Will the clerk please swear in the jury?" The judge asks a man sat near her. He stands to face them. He makes them all swear and then allows them to sit back down. "Opening statements please, I'd like to hear from Gracie's side first." Janice stands.

"Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, on the night of September 23rd, Gracie Cooper was sexually assaulted by John Stevens. Early in the morning of the 24th Gracie arrived at the Adams-Foster family home to seek help in her vice principal and her wife, Lena and Stef Adams-Foster. Evidence points in the direction of John and his home being where this took place. The accused's DNA was found in Gracie's examination and on her clothes. The evidence I will present to you today will prove Gracie is not lying." The judge nods to her and sits down again."

"Your Honour and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have evidence to prove that on the night of September 23rd, the accused was at a baseball game with his friend. To prove this, I will allow Joe Henry to take the stand." He sits down.

"The attorney of the accused may call their first witness." She says.

"The court calls Gracie Cooper to the stand." I didn't think I'd have to talk so soon. I follow the clerk where he makes me swear to tell the truth and I sit down, shaking with fear just from being looked at by John and his family. "Ms Cooper, you've spent over half of your life being in and out of foster homes, correct?"

"Yes, my mother died giving birth to me and my father killed himself when I was seven."

"It was your third home when you lived with the Collins family, yes?" I haven't thought about them in years.

"Yes."

"Why were you removed from that home?"

"I was being abused by their older son. Their biological son."

"What exactly did he do?"

"He hit me and kicked me almost every night I stayed there."

"Did you ever go to court for this?"

"No."

"So Mr Collins was never charged for this?"

"No, he told everyone I lied."

"Your Honour, I have reason to believe that Ms Cooper did lie and is doing the same thing to my client."

"Present your evidence." The attorney walks to his desk and picks up a familiar looking notebook, my childhood diary, I thought it had gotten stolen.

"This is Ms Cooper's diary from when she was a little girl, on one page she talks about how she wants to get out of a particular home she was in. This is a quote directly from Gracie." He flicks it open, my palms get sweaty. "'One of the girls in my last home told me she lied about getting beat up to get out of her last home. Maybe if I did something like that, I could go somewhere else too.' Does that sound like an honest girl to you?" He asks the jury.

"Your Honour if I may?" Janice stands up.

"Yes. You may speak." Janice approaches but turns to him.

"This book went missing when Gracie was only 9 years old. She would have had to be very young and very frightened at that time in her life, she wouldn't have taken a risk so big in such a scary situation." She sits back down, impressed with herself.

"Do you have any more evidence?"

"No, Your Honour."

"Then you may be seated, you too Ms Cooper." I sigh with relief looking over at Sophia. She looks proud of me. I wait until he's sat down before I go and take my seat next to Janice. "The attorney of the alleged victim may call their first witness."

"The court calls Joe Henry to the stand," Janice says. A man from the seats behind John gets up and takes his seat in the stand, the clerk makes him swear. Janice approaches him.

"Mr Henry, you went to the baseball game with Mr Stevens correct." He nods back to her. "I'm going to need verbal confirmation."

"Yes, that is correct."

"And you've known Mr Stephens, for how long?"

"Since we were in college, we played baseball together in our freshman year, and now we work together in finances for the Padres."

"Has Mr Stephens ever showed interest in a younger girl before?"

"Well, not exactly uh-"

"You're under oath, Mr. Henry."

"When we were in college, we went to a few high school parties and at one there was a young girl there that had taken a liking to him."

"This girl is called Rachel Garcia, correct?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, you may return to your seat." He does so. Why would John name his daughter after some high school he met when he was in college? "Your Honour may I call another witness to the stand."

"I'll allow it."

"The court calls Rachel Garcia to the stand." A pretty woman stands up from a few rows behind Stef and Lena, she swears the oath and sits down. "Rachel, you met John when you were how old?"

"I was 14." Same age as me.

"And how old was he?"

"He was in his third year of college, so about 21."

"And you told him you were 17?"

"Yes, at first."

"As Mr Henry said, did you take a liking to him?"

"I did."

"Did you act on your feelings?"

"I danced with him and I kissed him."

"Then what happened?"

"He took me upstairs, he said he wanted to talk, but we kissed more. I decided to tell him my real age. He didn't react. Then after a while, he started trying to take my clothes off. I told him no, we kept kissing and he tried again. I called him a pig and left him there on his own. He followed me downstairs and cornered me in a bathroom. He grabbed my neck and told me I would regret turning him down. Then he left."

"You came to me with this information, I didn't go looking for you, yes?"

"Yes. My daughter goes to school with Gracie, her friend told her about what happened, as soon as she said the name, I knew I had to say something." It takes me a minute to figure out who her daughter is, then I realise it's Taylor. She and her mom have different surnames.

"Thank you, Mrs Garcia, you may return to your seat." Janice sits back next to me.

"Thank you," I say quietly, the room is so silent I'm scared I'll get in trouble.

"Considering what I've seen today, I'd like to adjourn until tomorrow." The judge says.


	12. Chapter 12

After court today, I feel kind of sad, I'd hoped it would all be over within a few hours, but I have to wait another day. I sit out in the hall on my own. I asked Stef and Lena to wait in the car while I spoke to Sophia, but she's gone now. We only talked for a few minutes. I just need a moment alone. I text Taylor to say thank you to her mom for me, I can't believe a complete stranger would try to help me. I hear footsteps come closer to me, but I don't look up. The person sits next to me. I see the black converse and the ripped jeans. I look up to see Rachel sat next to me, just staring at the wall.

"I'm not mad. Not at you anyway. I wasn't close with him, like at all, he always kind of creeped me out. But I love my mom so much that I pretended to my social worker that we got along fine."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted to know if you're okay."

"How could I be okay? Your dad molested me. He let me believe I was safe, and he broke my trust. And so, did you by not telling me he was... creepy or whatever."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you that, if I get called up as a witness, I will try and help you win this case. I want him sent down for this."

"You do? What about your mom?"

"She's probably going to hate me if I try and support you, she hates you now, she's convinced you're lying. She's so blinded by her love for him."

"So, what are you going to do, if he does go to prison?"

"If my mom doesn't lose her mind then we'll probably just move somewhere smaller and she'll take on more hours at work, he's our main income so a little bit financially screwed."

"Rachel!" We both stand up and see Mary is coming towards us. "Get away from her now."

"Sorry, I have to go." I watch her walk to her mom, she starts yelling at her, but she just ignores her and keeps walking.

I wait a moment before going out to Stef and Lena's car.

"You alright sweetie? That must have been hard for you." Lena turns around in her seat to look at me while Stef starts driving.

"I'm okay, I didn't expect it to be adjourned, I thought it would all be over today. But I'm fine, I just have to keep fighting."

"We're very proud of you." She takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.

We get back and everyone is out, except for Callie, she's sat in the kitchen with who I'm assuming is her boyfriend, AJ.

"Hey Gracie, this is AJ." Callie introduces us. I shake his hand.

"Hi." He says smiling, I smile back.

"So, how did it go? Mom texted me to tell me where you were." She says as we sit down.

"It got adjourned until tomorrow, but, um yeah I think it went well. The Quinn's came, to support me."

"Gracie was so brave," Lena says.

"I'm so proud of you." Callie hugs me.

"Thank you. I'm pretty tired, would it be okay if I went upstairs for a nap?"

"Sure, sweetie, you don't have to ask you know, this isn't like your other homes," Lena says.

"Sorry I'm just used to a lot more rules than way more rules. Uh, it was nice meeting you AJ."

"You too." He says.

"I'll come to wake you at dinner time," Callie says.

I am tired but realistically I'm not going to get any sleep, so I look around the room, Callie and Mariana have very different styles, but they're stuff just looks right together, they're like the perfect contrast and their room shows it. I wish I had a sister. I have Sophia, but she can't always be there, not like a sister could, or like I imagine a sister could anyway. They have pictures everywhere, of the two of them, of the family, pictures with their boyfriends. I go to Callie's bedside table, there's a picture of her and Jude with a dark-haired woman, they look alike. Must be their birth mom. I don't even have pictures of my parents.

I get into bed and lay there for a while, staring at Mariana's clock. Eventually, I fall asleep. I dream about this house and the family. We're all sat at the dining table, there's a huge turkey on the table. We're all wearing dumb turkey hats and laughing together. Stef and Lena stand up to get everyone's attention.

"Kids, there's something we want to say. We've had a wonderful Thanksgiving." Lena says.

"And we think we have something that will make it even better," Stef says. "Gracie, we have a question for you."

"Would you like to be a permanent part of this family?" I feel so much joy I can barely breathe. The others are all so excited, Callie jumps up and hugs me.

"Well, Gracie?" Callie says. "Gracie?" I open my eyes and I'm back in my camp bed. Callie is standing next to me. "Dinner's ready."


	13. Chapter 13

I sit with the family at the kitchen table. They all eat and talk about their day, then the question comes to me.

"How was your day Gracie?" Mariana asks me, the others don't know I went to court today.

"It was fine." I eat so I don't have to talk. I'd like to talk to them, tell them about me, but I can't do it. I don't want to unload my weight on them, they don't need that. After dinner Mariana, Callie and I go up to their room. Mariana's talking about some party she's going to.

"Are you going to drink?" Callie asks in a protective way.

"Yeah, I guess, if you're so worried why don't you just come?" She looks through her clothes.

"Oh, no. I'm just gonna hang out here with Gracie." She smiles at me.

"Why don't you both come?" She comes and sits next to me. "Come on, you could do with a little bit of fun." I look at Callie.

"I'll go if you do." She thinks about it for a second.

"Fine but only for like an hour or two."

"Yay! Okay, Gracie, you can borrow anything. What about this?" She holds up a black skater style dress. "And, uh," She pulls a denim jacket out of the closet. "This." I'll admit it is something I would wear. "Here." She hands them to me and I go and put them on in the bathroom, I don't look that bad. The jacket covers my scars and the skirt of the dress is flattering to my figure, not too tight not too loose. I go back out to show them.

"You look great." Callie smiles. She's wearing high waisted black jeans and a purple crop top, Mariana's wearing a skin-tight blue dress with a leather jacket.

"Thanks, you guys look awesome too."

"Can I do your makeup?" Mariana asks, she looks too excited about it for me to say no. She sits me down in the same place she did my hair for me and gets started. She puts concealer over my dark circles and gold eyeshadow on my eyelids, then she adds winged eyeliner and mascara. My eyes pop, they always just sank into my face, now I actually look kind of pretty. We go downstairs, and Stef and Lena are sat at the kitchen table.

"Girls, you all look beautiful. I didn't know you were going tonight Gracie?" Lena comes over and looks at my whole outfit.

"I think maybe I should try and do something a little bit normal, and fun."

"Okay, but be careful."

"We will, we'll look out for each other," Callie reassures her parents.

"No drinking, no drugs and no sex please!" Stef shouts as we leave the house and get into the little blue mini.

"Do they always say that before you go to a party?"

"Pretty much." Callie starts driving. "But they're just protecting us."

We pull up outside a house and we can already hear the music, there are multicoloured lights flashing in the downstairs windows, and teenagers screaming with joy. I feel a little bit nervous, but also excited. I've never actually been to a party before. When we get inside Mariana immediately starts talking to people from school and eventually, we get separated from her.

"Are you gonna drink?" Callie asks the same way she asked Mariana earlier.

"I don't know, I've never drunk before. I'd like to try it." We walk to the kitchen.

"Pace yourself though, moms will kill me if I bring you home drunk." I pick up a beer and she gets a cup of soda. Callie and I go and sit on some chairs in the living room, everyone is dancing and having fun, there are people making out and stuff all over the place. I sit and sip my beer. Callie gets talking to some kids from school, so I'm left looking like a loner.

I finish my beer and decide to get another one. I feel a little wobbly, but I kind of like it. I get to the kitchen and all the beers are gone.

"Hey, are you looking for a drink?" A guy asks me.

"Uh, yeah."

"Here, I'll make you one." He takes a cup and pours in a shot of vodka and fills the rest up with coke.

"Thanks." He hands it to me.

"I think I've seen you at school, you're in the ninth grade, right?"

"Yeah." I didn't think anyone even noticed me.

"Ugh, I love this song. Wanna come and dance?" He takes my hand.

"I don't know, I'm not much of a dancer."

"Come on, you can't be that bad." He pulls me into the living room. He's not much of a dancer either, but he's fun to watch. I dance along trying not to look like a dork, but after a while, and a few more sips, I just start to let loose. He spins me round like we're at some kind of ballroom dance, I spin out of control and we end up in a fit of laughter on the floor. I realise he's on top of me and I suddenly push him off and jump up, all I can see is John's face over me. He gets up and looks at me.

"Is everything okay?"

"Sorry I just, I hurt my arm." I lie. "I'll be right back." I run out on him into the hall, I spot Mariana and grab her and yank her into the bathroom.

"What's wrong Gracie?" I start to cry. "Talk to me." I drop to the floor. I decide to tell her, maybe she can help me.

"I was dancing with this guy, and we fell, and he was on top of me, we were laughing, it was fun and I then I had this like, flashback thing."

"Tell me."

"I went to court today, about what happened to me. That man did horrible things to me, things he wasn't supposed to, and I can't get it out of my head."

"It's okay, you're not there anymore. The guy you were with, what's his name?"

"Jason, I think."

"Okay, I know Jason, he's a good guy, a great guy in fact. I think you should go back out there and dance with him. I promise you, as long as you're with us you're safe. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, thank you." I hug her, she helps me up off the ground and takes me back to the living room, Jason is standing by the music system looking around, he sees me and comes over straight away.

"Hey, what happened?" He takes my hand.

"I just got a little overwhelmed, I'm not a party girl."

"Yeah, you don't strike me as one. Do you want to dance again?"

"Not really, do you wanna go and sit outside?"

"Sure." He's still holding my hand as we walk into the backyard. We go and sit on a swing set.

"So, you're here with Mariana and Callie Foster?"

"Yeah, their moms are fostering me for a while."

"Oh, you're in foster care, sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine." He just starts looking at me. "Your eyes are like, burning into my soul." I blush.

"Sorry, you're just, you're pretty." I don't think anyone's ever called me pretty before. I could tell him I'm not into guys, but I don't. Instead, I down the rest of my drink and grab him by the shirt and kiss him. I've never kissed anyone before, but I like it, and I think I'm good at it, Jason sure is.

"What was that for?" He smiles at me.

"I don't know. Come on, make me another drink." I drag him back inside and he makes a double. We get back on the dance floor. I'm having so much fun with this total stranger. I know Callie's watching me, she thinks I'm already drunk. Maybe I am but I'm not off my face, so I keep drinking and dancing and by eleven, Jason and I are sat on the couch trying to catch our breath. He kisses me. I wish every night could be as crazy and spontaneous as this one.

"Gracie!" I hear Callie shouting for me, she walks over to us. "Come on, we gotta get home."

"No, I'm having fun." She tries to pull me up, but I fall back on to Jason and kiss him.

"Gracie, now." She pulls me up again.

"Fine, bye Jason." Callie grabs Mariana and pulls me out of the house. I'm stumbling all over the place.

"I told you to pace yourself!" She yells at me.

"I did." I laugh.

"You're wasted, Gracie." Mariana says.

"Come on, get in the car." We walk down the path to the car, but I suddenly stop. "Gracie, come on." I throw up all over the path.

"Ew," Mariana says. It's the last thing I hear before I pass out.


	14. Chapter 14

I can faintly make out the back of Callie's head, I'm in the back of the mini.

"Is her seat belt on?!" She yells.

"Yes, for the third time!" Mariana shouts back. "How much did she have?"

"I don't know she was off with Jason all night, I knew something bad would happen."

"Callie, it's fine, she's a teenager. It happens."

"It's not fine, we were supposed to be looking after her Mariana, she's only 14 moms are going to kill us." I close my eyes again. The next time I open them, Jesus and Callie are dragging me into the house.

"Hey, Jesus." I smile at him, but he just gives me a weird look.

"Come on Gracie, let's get you upstairs."

"Keep her quiet," Callie says. We go inside and up the stairs. They put me down on the camp bed.

"I'll go distract moms." Mariana goes into her parents' room.

"I'm fine!" I laugh.

"Just go to sleep Gracie, before you get us all in trouble."

"Why so serious Callie?" She ignores me and turns the light off.

I wake up with the sun beaming in my face. Callie and Mariana are gone. I have a horrible headache and I feel like puking. I run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and throw up in the toilet.

"Gracie? Are you alright in there, love?" Stef knocks on the door. I ignore her. I'm so ashamed, they open their home to me and I repay them by acting like an idiot. "Open the door." I crawl over to the door and unlock it, she comes in and sits next to me.

"Are you sick?" I puke again. "Are you hungover?" Her voice goes from concerned to stern. I nod. "How much did you drink?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry, this isn't like me."

"Oh, Gracie. Why get yourself drunk? At a time like this?"

"I just wanted to not feel it anymore."

"There are other ways to get through this."

"The only other way I know almost got me killed." I regret saying it immediately.

"What do you mean?" She looks down at my arm, Callie took my jacket off my last night and I slept in the dress. "Oh, sweetie." She puts her hand on my scars and strokes them. "You're gonna be alright, alcohol and self-harm is not the answer, you're only 14."

"I know. I won't do it again, I swear. I really am sorry, it's not fair to you guys." She hugs me.

"It's okay love, you're okay here." People keep saying that, that I'm okay as long as I'm here, but I'm not here for very long.

"When do we have to go to court?" I ask.

"Not until two, get showered and dressed and come down for breakfast. That'll make you feel less sick."

"Thanks, Stef."

I do as she says, and I get dressed in the clothes that Callie has left on my bed. She must be so mad at me, and Mariana and Jesus. I go downstairs and only Brandon, Stef and Lena are there.

"Hey, uh where are the others?" I ask sitting down.

"Callie went to see a friend, Mariana's with Mat and Jude and Jesus have gone to the mall," Brandon says. "You look like hell." He says.

"Brandon!" Lena exclaims.

"Oh, uh sorry I don't mean it in a bad way, I just mean you look tired."

"It's fine, don't worry about it, I am tired." Lena gives me a plate of waffles and syrup. I devour the entire plate in about two minutes.

"Got any plans for today B?" Stef asks her son.

"Not really, just piano all day and then work later."

"Where do you work?" I ask.

"The Smoke House, I perform most weekends and some weeknights."

"That sounds cool."

"Yeah, it's pretty fun. So, you have court again today?" I didn't know he knew about me going yesterday. "Sorry, Callie told me."

"Uh, yeah I do."

"Well good luck, I really hope that guy goes down for what he did. You wanna come and hang out? I can show you some of the stuff I play?" He asks.

"Yeah sure."

"Brandon, can we talk to you before you two go off? Gracie, give us a minute?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll go upstairs." I walk out of the kitchen and decide to listen in, I know it's really rude but I'm just curious.

"Brandon, you know we trust you right?" Lena says.

"And it's important you don't break our trust, again," Stef adds.

"What is this about?"

"We want to make sure you know that what happened with Callie doesn't happen again."

"No, yeah I know that. She's fourteen. It won't happen."

"Okay, thank you B, you can go." I hear his footsteps get closer to where I am, so I quickly sneak upstairs.

"Hey." He comes into the room. I follow him to his bedroom. He has a little nook with a keyboard and a guitar and all of his music.

"This is awesome."

"It is pretty cool isn't it." He sits at his keyboard. I lean against the little partition.

"Do you only play classical?" I look through his music books.

"Mostly, but uh, I was in a band though, we had like an 80s indie vibe, but it was still pretty modern and mainstream."

"That's cool, could you play me a song from that?"

"Sure, this is called Crossfire, it's meant to be a duet, but I'll just sing it all." He starts playing, he's really talented, then he starts singing, and even more talent shines through. He finishes up. "What did you think?" He looks at me for approval.

"It's amazing, you're so good. Do you have like a CD?"

"I don't have any here but, uh," He gets up and looks through some drawers, "Here." He holds up an iPod and some headphones. "This has all our songs on it, and some other cool stuff too."

"Oh, I can't take that."

"No really, it's cool, I have another one. Take it." He puts it in my hands.

"Thanks."

"No problem Gracie." He sits back down.

"Can I ask you something?" He nods. "What happened with you and Callie? That can't happen again?"

"Oh, you heard. Um, when Callie first got here, we sort of fell for each other." They dated? But they're brother and sister? "But that was a long time ago and it's all over now, she's got a boyfriend and I've got a girlfriend."

"So, your moms were worried about that happening again? Wait, they thought it would happen with me?" I'm shocked. And frankly, a little grossed out.

"Yeah, but it won't, I mean, no offence but you're my foster sister now and you're a lot younger than me, it's gross. They just wanted to make sure we were both okay."

"I get it, you're not my type at all." I take a deep breath and I just say it. "I'm gay."

"Oh, awesome. I'll let you in on a little secret." He starts to whisper. "I like girls too!" I burst out laughing.

"No, but for real, don't tell anyone, only Callie, Mariana and Sophia know."

"Of course, you tell people when you're ready."

"Thanks, Brandon. Could I try? The piano I mean."

"Sure, go ahead." He gets up and I sit on the seat in front of his bulky keyboard. I start randomly pressing keys.

"Try this." He puts three fingers on three different keys, I mimic him an octave above. "There you go, now just try that in different places with your left hand. And with your right try this." He plays a short melody over a few keys, I copy him. "Now try this." He plays both hands at the same time. Now it looks complicated. I try it, but I mess up.

"Maybe music's not for me." I laugh.

"You'll get there." His phone starts ringing. "Hello, uh yeah, sure, I'm on my way." He hangs up. "Sorry Gracie, I gotta get to work, you're welcome to keep playing though."

"Oh, okay sure. Have fun." He grabs his bag and leaves. I sit and try and play the little piece he showed me, I can play each hand separately but when I try and play them together it gets complicated. It's really nice having something to take my mind off of the trial. I start to think about Callie and Mariana. They must be pretty mad at me, I could have got them in so much trouble. Stef and Lena still might yell at them, but it wasn't their fault. It was mine. I remember Jason, I'll see him in school tomorrow. That's going to be awkward.


	15. Chapter 15

I sit and play for a while, after that, I go lie on my bed and listen to the iPod Brandon gave me. I end up falling asleep listening to some songs by Ed Sheeran. Later, Lena comes and wakes me up with the same jacket from yesterday in her hand. I take the headphones out.

"Come on, sweetie, it's time." I get up and follow her and Stef out to the car. I'm nervous again. Today's probably the day the jury make their decision. I wonder if Rachel will be there again.

I walk in and my eyes are drawn to John. He has a bruise on his face.

"What happened to him?" I ask my lawyer.

"He was beaten up in prison last night, it happens when people find out why other people are there." She says. All the other prisoners must agree that what he did was twisted.

The trial starts back up and it's mostly just the judge asking each of us questions, I answer in complete and honest detail. When I tell her exactly what happened, the jury gasps and some of them can't even look at me. I start to zone out when my lawyer asks John all these questions. Things run around my mind, what if he gets out, what if he comes to find me and he does something again. I can't do it all over again.

"Okay, I've heard all I need to for today, is the Jury ready to discuss?" The judge says.

"We are your honour." One of them stands.

"We'll meet back here in half an hour." The Judge and jury leave. Stef and Lena lead me outside to the hall. I look around for Rachel and her mom but they're not here.

"Are you okay? You looked a little freaked out in there." Stef asks.

"I just spaced out, I didn't want to listen. Do you think it went well?"

"I think your chances are a mile better than his." Lena puts her arm around me.

"More than a mile, we did good in there, kid." Janice comes over to us. We sit in silence for half an hour until the bailiff calls everyone back in.

"Has the jury made their decision?" The Judge asks. I start to shake, my heartbeat speeds up.

"Yes, your honour." The world stops turning for a moment. "The jury finds the defendant..." I close my eyes and clench my fists. "Guilty." I take a huge sigh of relief and turn to Stef and Lena, they're smiling from cheek to cheek. I hug my lawyer.

"This is ridiculous!" John shouts. He's being handcuffed. He kicks and screams as they drag him away. I run past Janice and straight into Stef and Lena's arms. The judge sentences him to life without parole.

"We did it," I whisper.

"You did it, Gracie, you were incredible." Lena says as they squeeze me.

We walk out, they hold my hands. Strangers congratulate me as we leave the building. When I get outside, I see her, Rachel is sitting on a bench across the street.

"Can I meet you at the car?" I say to Stef and Lena, crossing the road before waiting for a response. "We did it, he's going to jail. For life." I say to her.

"Good." I sit down next to her.

"Where's your mom?"

"She went to stay with my aunt, she finally came to the realisation that he's a bad person."

"She did? So where are you staying?"

"At home. On my own."

"Are you gonna be okay? You're just a kid."

"I'll be fine, I've been home alone plenty of times. Are you gonna be okay? Stuff like this doesn't go away when the bad guy goes to jail."

"I'll get through it. As soon as I figure out where I'm going."

"You're not staying with that family?"

"I was only supposed to be staying there throughout the trial, but it's over now. So, I guess I'm going back into the system. I should go, but could we stay in touch?" I get up.

"Sure." We switch phones and put each other's numbers in our phones and switch back. "Well, I'm glad you won the trial. See you around." She gets up and walks away. I hope she is okay in the end.

I call Sophia as soon as I get in the car.

"Hey, I'm sorry we couldn't make it today, we had to have lunch with my grandparents. What happened."

"We won, he got life!"

"Oh my God Gracie! That's so good, I'm so proud of you! I'm really sorry I've gotta go, I'll call you later. Love you G."

"Love you." She hangs up.

We pull up outside the house, I don't move.

"You alright Gracie?" Stef asks.

"So, I'm going back into the system now that the trial's over?"

"Well, uh, we don't want you going back into the system right away, not after all you've been through. So, we're completely happy for you to stay with us until you're through this, no matter how long it takes. But we're not in a position to foster you permanently." Stef asks, and I can tell she feels bad saying the last part. "All the rules and boundaries we've set for the other kids apply to you, so no repeats of last night."

"Okay."

"What happened last night?" Lena asks.

"Gracie, you go inside we'll be there in a minute." I get out of the car and leave them to talk.

When I get inside Callie, Mariana and Jesus are sat at the table. They all look at me and I immediately feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry about last night, I'm not your responsibility but I'm really grateful you all took care of me. I promise I'll never be so stupid again."

"It's okay we're glad you're okay," Mariana says.

"Yeah, we totally get why you just wanted to let loose, with the trial and everything it can't be easy." Jesus gets up and leads me to the table.

"So, you're not mad?" I sit down.

"No, we're not mad, Gracie, just don't do it again." Callie takes my hand. "How was today?"

"We won!" They all congratulate me.

Jude gets home, and I tell him the news, he hugs me and tells me how happy he is for me. Stef and Lena come inside and start making dinner, we all help. I can just make the most of the time I have here. I'll go to school, hang out with the family, do my homework and tutoring with Mariana and Jude and I can pretend to be a normal fourteen-year-old, just for a little while.

We eat dinner and then Jude and I go up to his room to study math. It's probably my worst subject but Jude shows me the equations in a way to make it easier, he shows me all these little tricks that aren't too hard to remember. After an hour of math, I go to Mariana's room to do Physics, also not my strongest subjects. She gives me her old flashcards from when she was in my grade and all of her old study notes. I don't feel so hopeless now. We have half an hour until lights out, so I do some homework before bed. I feel good, about the future.


	16. Chapter 16

When I get to school with the others the next day, I see Jason sat on the bench looking over the beach. Now would be the perfect time to apologise for the other night.

"Hey."

"Oh hey, sit down." He makes room for me. "You got home alright after Saturday?"

"Yeah, sort of. Did you?"

"Yeah, I did. So, uh, we kissed a couple of times." He smiles at me, and I really notice his pretty eyes.

"Right, sorry about that. I'm not usually like that."

"Why are you sorry? I enjoyed it, didn't you?" I did enjoy it, but I'm not into guys, there's just something about him that's intriguing.

"Yeah, I did." He suddenly leans in and kisses me again, leaving me a little shocked.

"What? Should I not have done that?"

"Gracie, come on we have class," Jude calls my name.

"Sorry I've gotta go." I get up, but Jason grabs my hand.

"Meet me here at lunch?" He's got the cute little smile that turns up on one side.

"Sure." I run off back to Jude and we go to homeroom.

I spend the day thinking about what this guy could possibly see in me, why would he want to have lunch with me?

Jude and I have math today, it wasn't as tough as it usually is, Jude's tutoring has been really helpful. I hope he's okay with helping me out. We go to all our other classes and then finally it's lunchtime.

"Are you coming, Gracie?" Taylor asks me.

"No, I'm good, I'm meeting someone." Jude and Taylor give me a weird look, but I go off anyway. Jason's sat at the bench again.

"How's your day been so far?" He asks taking my hand.

"Pretty good, you?

"Pretty good too, I haven't had any classes yet, I've been sat here reading." He shows me his copy of The Hunger Games. "You ever read it?"

"I started it once in one of my old schools, but I never got to finish it, someone stole it from me."

"That sucks. Well, maybe you'll read it for class someday."

"If I get to stay here. Who knows when I'll be moved."

"Do you get moved a lot?"

"Yeah kind of, I was in a group home for like a year or two, that's the longest I've stayed in one place since before my dad died." I don't know why I'm sharing with him.

"And what about the home you're in now? You like it?"

"I love it, but my foster moms have told me that it's not permanent. They're great, and I know they're not trying to get rid of me, they have five kids so adding another one is a pretty big deal. But I'm trying not to think about where I might end up next, I want to make the most of what I have."

"You're so cool. I mean, all the crappy stuff is pretty... well crappy, but it's cool that you have a positive outlook on things." I smile at him. "You look really good when you smile." I blush.

"Oh God, you're so cringe!"

"No, I'm serious, you have a great smile. You should use it more."

"Thank you." He reaches over to put his book in his backpack, I notice something on the back of his arm. "What's that? How did you get a tattoo? Aren't you like 16?"

"Yeah, uh, I got it at a street festival. I know, pretty risky." He rolls up his sleeve and I see the whole thing, it's a bunch of flowers. "Lilies were my mom's favourite, or so my dad tells me."

"Were?"

"Yeah, she died when I was a kid."

"Oh, I'm sorry. My mom died when I was born."

"It's not fun. But we're okay, my dad remarried. She's a little unusual, but she's not the evil stepmother either."

"I get it, obviously it can't be easy having a stepmom thrown into everything. I mean, my dad never remarried, he was always too depressed, but I can imagine."

"What happened to your dad? Why did you end up in the foster system?"

"He killed himself when I was seven. It's okay though, like, I'm okay." He kisses me.

"Sorry, I can't help but kiss you." He's so, I don't know, I like how I feel around him.

"Gracie?" Brandon comes over to us. "Hi, Jason." He looks at him really strangely.

"Hey," I say to him, still looking at Jason.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, I'll be right back." Jason and I walk a little closer to the beach. "So, what's up?"

"I uh, I thought you were gay, why were you kissing Jason?" I shrug. "I mean, I thought, at the party, you were just drunk."

"You heard about the party? Whatever, I don't know, maybe I like girls and him. Why does it have to be so black and white?"

"It doesn't, but you labelled yourself, I didn't do that. Just don't string him along. It's not fair to either of you." He walks away. I'm not stringing him along. Maybe I just thought I liked girls because I've never liked a guy before. I do still like girls too, but I think I really, really like this guy. I go back and sit next to Jason.

"He's your foster brother, right? What did he want?"

"Yeah, he just wanted to tell me that we all have to cook dinner tonight." He looks disappointed. "What?"

"Well uh, no never mind it doesn't matter."

"No, tell me."

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to hang out tonight." I'm shocked, does he actually, really, seriously like me? Me?

"I guess I could meet you after?" I'm sure Stef and Lena will let me.

"You really want to?" He holds my hand.

"Yeah, why? Do you not want me to?"

"No, I, I really want you to."

"Okay, then let's do it."

"Cool."

"Cool." I kiss him. I can't contain my smile.

After school, I walk home with Callie, all the others have their extra-curricular activities and stuff.

"So, uh, Brandon told me you were with Jason again at lunch," Callie says.

"Yeah, he's cool."

"He is, he's a really nice guy but uh, be careful okay?"

"Why? You literally just said he's a nice guy."

"Yeah but he's a junior, and you're a freshman."

"I'm sure I'll be okay. He's taking me out tonight."

"Really? That's cool." She leaves behind her reservations and tries to act psyched. "Where's he taking you?"

"The movies. I've only been like twice with the Quinn's so I'm pretty excited."

"Have you asked moms?"

"Their your moms, not mine. I'm sure they'll be cool with it." She doesn't say anything about me liking girls, I'm glad she doesn't. I don't want to talk about that.

It turns out we do have to cook dinner tonight, Stef's taking another double and Lena's got work to do. But Brandon offers to pay for takeout, I don't object. We order pizza after everyone gets home. Since no one's home, we eat in front of the TV. I text Lena to ask if I can go out with Jason, she said it's fine as long as I'm home by nine.

"So, Callie tells me you're going on a date tonight?" Brandon says, he looks annoyed.

"A date? What's she like?" Mariana says. Jesus and Jude don't know that I said I'm gay. I feel like they're staring me out.

"It's a guy, uh Jason."

"Oh right, cool." She says looking confused.

"I mean, I don't know if it's a date, we're just going to the movies."

"It's a date." They all say together.

"Is he picking you up in his car?" Jesus asks.

"He has a car?"

"Wow, you know him really well," Brandon says sarcastically.

"That's why I'm going out with him, to get to know him." I shut him down.

"What time is he coming?" Mariana changes the subject slightly.

"Six thirty, I better go clean up." I finish my pizza and go upstairs, Mariana follows me.

"Here, borrow these." She hands me a cute red blouse and a leather jacket to wear with Callie's black jeans I'm wearing.

"Thanks." She goes back downstairs. I get dressed, try to make myself look pretty and then I hear the doorbell. When I get downstairs Jesus, Brandon and Jude are all sat in the living room with Jason. When he sees me, he gets up from his seat.

"Wow. You look, awesome."

"Thanks. You ready?" I boldly take his hand.

"Yeah, let's go."

"Remember, home by nine," Jesus says acting like a parent.

We get outside, and I see his car, it's pretty nice. He opens the door for like a gentleman.

"I like your car."

"Thanks, one of the perks of being an only child."

"So, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"My foster sister seems to think I shouldn't trust you, I guess she thinks it's weird that you like me even though you're two years older than me. I don't think that."

"I don't think that either, I just like you."

"Okay good, I like you too. Another question, is this like... is this a date?"

"Heck yeah, it's a date." We pull up outside the theatre.

"Well in that case, could we do something else. I mean, I wanna see this movie but I'd rather talk to you, you know, get to know each other."

"Sure, what do you wanna do?"

"We could go to the beach, or something, I don't mind."

"Beach it is." He starts driving again.

We sit up on the lifeguard deck and just talk, he tells me more about his mom before she died and his dad and his new wife. Although he's had his fair share of heartbreak in his life, he seems to have it together now. I wish I could be like that. I decide to tell him a little bit more about me, not the cutting, the suicide attempts or the sexual abuse, just about the foster homes I've been in. I also tell him about that one good day with my dad.

"Did you, um get depressed when he died?"

"A little, of course, but I'm good now. Did you get depressed when your mom died?"

"Yeah, I spent a little bit of time in the hospital when I was about ten."

"That's so young."

"Yeah, but I'm good now too. I think, maybe everyone is depressed at least once in their life, and I don't mean sad, I mean depressed, everyone goes through something hard at some point."

"Other people have it harder though, and others have it easier."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean that their problems are invalid, there are kids dying all over the world, but our problems matter too, don't ever think they don't." He holds my hand.

"I like talking like this, about real stuff. Most kids these days are so obsessed with Twitter and Instagram, and which Kardashian is pregnant." We laugh and then kiss... a lot. We spend the rest of the night talking and kissing and he drops me home at exactly 9 pm.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Jason drops me back at the Fosters five minutes before nine, he walks me to the door and kisses me goodbye, I watch him drive away. I had a really good time with him, we talked about stuff that actually matters. Stef opens the door and brings me inside.

"How was your date?"

"It was fun, he's really nice." I feel a little bit awkward talking about him, I'm not sure why.

"That's good, well you go up and get an hour of studying in before bed." She smiles at me and sends me upstairs.

I don't have any tutoring tonight, so I can just sit and read Romeo and Juliet. Callie's just sitting there on her laptop, but Mariana is staring at me with this big smile on her face.

"What?" I look up at her.

"How was it? I need to know everything!"

"It was good, there's not much to tell." I turn back to my book.

"Did you kiss?"

"Yeah but we've kissed before."

"Did you do anything else?"

"We just sat on the beach and-" I notice the look on her face. "Ew no we didn't do anything like that!" I laugh and throw my pillow at her. I really like that Mariana doesn't care that he's a guy and I said I like girls, it's not really an issue for me and it shouldn't be an issue for anyone.

The next day I wake up way before my alarm, so I go downstairs to have breakfast, but I stop on the stairs when I hear Stef and Lena's voices.

"You don't think we should let her date?" Lena says. They're talking about me.

"I'm not saying that exactly, but we don't know how long she's going to be here."

"You don't want her to get too attached."

"Exactly. I think it would be cruel to let her get comfortable." I can't believe this. The step I'm on creaks. "Mariana what have we told you about eavesdropping!" Stef yells. I come out into the kitchen. "Oh, Gracie, good morning." She looks over to Lena. I don't say anything.

"You want some breakfast?" I sit down opposite them and Lena gives me a bowl of cereal. "You heard us talking huh?"

"Yeah. It's okay, I get that you're just trying to look out for me." They look relieved.

"That's right, we just don't want you to get hurt." Lena sits back down next to Stef. "We're more than happy for you to stay here as long as you need but-"

"But not forever, I get it. Thanks for being honest with me." Lena hugs me and we all start eating breakfast. "Can I ask you guys a favour?"

"Sure sweetie, go ahead."

"Could you not tell anyone about tomorrow? I don't want anyone making a fuss over me." I've been meaning to ask this question since I got here, I knew the date was coming up.

"If that's what you want, then of course," Lena says, I smile and keep eating.

Eventually, the others all come down for food too. It's a little awkward and quiet, well I'm a little awkward and quiet, everyone else is acting normal.

"Hey, Gracie, have you read the next act of Romeo and Juliet?" Jude asks on our way into school.

"Yeah, I finished it. I always read ahead, I do that with whatever we're reading in English. In 8th Grade, I read Of Mice of Men in one week because I knew my next school might be ahead in the book or even reading something else, it helps to be prepared."

"So, you think you're gonna get moved soon?" I know I'm going to get moved soon.

"I don't know, maybe." I leave Jude and go and meet Jason on the bench. He's reading his book again. "Hey." I sit down next to him. "Thanks again for last night, I had a lot of fun."

"Me too." He puts his arm around me and kisses my cheek. "So, why didn't you tell me about tomorrow?" I feel the blood rush to my face.

"I uh, I don't want any extra attention, people already stare at me all the time."

"Come on Gracie, it's your birthday! You have to do something!"

"No, I'd really rather not. I haven't celebrated my birthday since before my dad died and I don't want to celebrate it now. How did you even find out?" Sophia and her family, and Stef and Lena are the only people who know when my birthday is.

"I snuck into to the main office to get something one of my teachers confiscated and your file was on the desk, your birthday was on the front." I start to panic. "At least let me do something small for you?"

"You looked in my file? That's private!" I push his arm off of me. What if it says something about John in there?

"No, no I didn't open it I swear! I just looked at the front." He takes my hands. "I would never violate your privacy like that."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now, please let me do something for your birthday." I look into his pleading eyes.

"Fine, but nothing big, I hate birthdays."

"I'm sure I can change your mind." He kisses me.

"You can try. I gotta go, I'm gonna be late for homeroom." I kiss him again and run into school.

I meet Jason between classes and at lunch and at the end of the day, he's waiting for me outside my History classroom. He walks me home, the rest of the Fosters are a few metres behind us, I feel like they're all watching us. So, I don't hold his hand or kiss him the whole way home, I shouldn't feel guilty for liking him, should I? When we get to the house, the rest of the kids pass us and go inside.

"Thanks for walking me home." I quickly kiss his cheek and start to go inside, Stef's there, Jason grabs my hand, not noticing her.

"Aren't you gonna invite me in?"

"Who's this?" Stef opens the door the whole way and they see each other.

"Uh, this is Jason, Jason, this is my foster mom Stef."

"Nice to meet you, Jason." They shake hands.

"You too."

"Would you like to come in for a snack?"

"I'd love to." He stays holding my hand, which catches Stef's attention.

We go and sit in the garden and Stef brings us a plate of cheese and crackers. She's being extra attentive, she keeps coming and asking if we need another drink or more crackers and stuff. She doesn't trust me, that's what it is.


	18. Chapter 18

"Are you alright? You seemed a little weird on the way home." Jason asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I eat my crackers and avoid eye contact. I want to talk to him, like really talk to him but I just don't know what to say.

"You don't seem fine."

"I am, anyway," I get up, "I have to study before dinner."

"Oh, okay well-"

"Jason," Stef comes outside, "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Why can't she get that I'm not comfortable with him being here? Of course, he accepts and pretty soon we're all sitting down for dinner, the table is pretty cramped but somehow it works. Jesus and Jason are talking about some guys in their grade, everyone is hanging off of his every last word like he's frickin' Gandhi or something, except Brandon he's ignoring everyone.

"Brandon, could you pass me the cheese?" I ask, he just swirls his pasta around. "Brandon?"

"Huh? Yeah me too." He doesn't even look up.

"Here." Jude hands me the cheese instead.

"Thanks, Jude."

"So, Jason what's the soccer team like?" Mariana asks. He doesn't really talk about soccer that much, it seems like he thinks it's beneath him.

"It's fun, girls love it." Everyone laughs, except again Brandon.

"Open relationship then?" He asks us, everyone just stares at him.

"What?" Jason sounds confused.

"It's probably for the best considering Gracie's gay." I can hear the bitterness in his voice.

"Brandon!" Callie yells at him. I'm humiliated, and angry. I slam my fork down and run upstairs. Jude follows me, but I slam the door in his face. I can't believe Brandon would out me like that, what's his problem?

"Gracie? Are you okay?" Jude asks from the other side of the door. I don't answer him, and he ends up walking away. I go lie down on my bed. Then Jude comes in through the bathroom. "What happened in there?"

"I don't know. Brandon's a jerk, Jason's going to hate me now."

"Well is it true?" He sits down.

"What?"

"Do you like girls?" I can be honest with him, I hope.

"Yes. I do like girls, I've always liked girls, only girls but then I met Jason and now I don't know."

"I get it." I look over to him unimpressed. "No seriously, I'm gay and then I started having feelings for a girl and I was confused, but for me, I was _just_ confused, I'm definitely gay."

"Oh my God it's Taylor isn't it?"

"Don't change the subject, listen, there's no rush to figure it out. No matter what Brandon says and Jason seems like he's really into you. I don't think you have to worry."

"I just don't get why Brandon did that."

"I'm sorry." Brandon appears in the bathroom door. He comes and sits next to Jude. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Then why did you do it?" I sit up. Jude leaves the room.

"I just, I've been hurt by lies before. I don't wanna watch you do the same to someone else."

"I'm not lying Brandon, I like him. Why don't you get that?"

"Okay, I'm sorry." He looks genuinely apologetic. He gets up and leaves. I'm still mad at him though.

I highly doubt Jason is just gonna forget about this. He won't want me now. I just want to get away from this house. I pull my phone out of my backpack and start to text Sophia, but something stops me, and I start texting Rae. We arrange to meet in ten minutes on the beach. I wait to hear the sound of Jason's car driving away and I sneak past everyone and get out of the front door. I walk down to the beach and see Rachel sitting alone staring out at the ocean. It's pretty windy out so the only other people here are further down the beach surfing.

"Thanks for meeting me. I just had to get away." I sit next to her.

"Why?"

"They're just, I don't know. They're great but I know it's not permanent, and even if they offered to keep me, it wouldn't work out."

"Something obviously happened, and you obviously want to talk about it otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to meet." She's right. I explain what happened with Jason and Brandon. "I think Brandon is trying to protect you, he obviously sees you as a sister and doesn't want you to make a mess of your life."

"My life is already a mess. But I guess that makes sense."

We sit and talk for a while, and things get deep, she tells me about her life before she was adopted.

"I got placed with John and Mary when I was five, I stayed for a few weeks and then I was taken away from them, still don't know why. But they fought for me, they got me back and over and over again I was taken without any reason, eventually, after a few years they started the paperwork for adoption."

"Wow, that must have been pretty horrible being so young through all of that."

"Yeah it was, it really screwed me up. I got really depressed when I was like seven, I think, I didn't know that at the time but it's pretty obvious now looking back at it. I got some counselling and stuff but there was never any real change, I just pretended for a while that I was fine because John and Mary wanted a perfect daughter and I wanted a perfect life. I got to a point where I couldn't hide it anymore, I wasn't eating or sleeping, or even talking. I was a mess, I guess I still kind of am." I can relate to her a lot more than I thought.

"Do take any meds for it?"

"Nope."

"Aren't you scared of getting worse?"

"Nope." She sees my confused reaction. "I've gotten to a point where I don't care if I get worse."

"I'm so sorry. I can relate."

"You can? Are you on meds?"

"No, I can't afford them." I try to laugh it off. "Let's talk about something lighter."

"Like what?"

"Like, I don't know." She laughs at me. "I guess neither of us has anything good to talk about."

"What about this? I think you look really pretty right now." I feel embarrassed. I'm really bad at taking compliments.

"Uh- Thanks." I look at her, I really take her in. "You do too."

"You're just saying that because I did." She smiles, like really, truly smiles.

"No, seriously. I thought the second I first saw you, I couldn't tell if I was jealous of you or if I..."

"If you what?"

"If I wanted to," I take a second to think about what I'm about to do. I take a deep breath and kiss her. She doesn't pull away or seem shocked. She leans into me, laying me on my back. She's amazing at this. I don't think about any of the other crap going on in my life, I just think about her, in this moment right now.


	19. Chapter 19

Rae and I lay side by side holding hands on the beach. I don't regret it, I know it was wrong because I'm with Jason but I'm one hundred percent sure that that's over now. I don't know if Rae and I could even happen but right now it doesn't matter. Nothing does.

"Are you okay?" She looks over to me, I'm smiling like an idiot.

"I am." For the first time in a while, I've actually answered that question honestly. "Are you?"

"I'm better than okay." She kisses me again.

"I better get back, I didn't tell anyone where I was going, and I left my phone at home because I knew they'd all try to call me." I get up and brush the sand off of me, helping Rae up off the ground, she's looking at me weirdly, still with that real smile. "What?"

"You called it home."

"Whatever. Thanks for meeting me." I kiss her cheek.

"You're gonna leave me with that?" She grabs my waist and pulls me in for a proper kiss. "Text me, I wanna see you again."

"Okay. See you." I start to walk away, she holds my hand like she doesn't want to let go, but eventually, she does. I can feel her watching me as I walk away. As I make my way back to the Foster's, I find myself facing reality again. Stef and Lena will be mad at me for disappearing, Jason's going to be pissed at me.

I knock on the door and immediately Jesus opens the door.

"She's here."

"Oh, thank God!" I hear Lena say as she and the rest of the family swarm me in the hallway. "We were so worried." I thought they'd yell at me the second they saw me but she and Stef both hug me.

"Where did you go?" Callie asks.

"I was just meeting uh, Sophia." I'm not really sure why I decided to lie. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you guys. Just everything earlier stressed me out, but it's okay now."

"Okay, well kids you go upstairs and study, we're just going to talk to Gracie for a minute." They all do as Stef says and go up to their rooms. Lena, Stef and I go and sit in the living room.

"Sorry, again. It won't happen again."

"Listen, and this is completely up to you, we want to give you the choice of whether or not to stay with us, given what happened earlier," Stef says. I'm a little confused.

"You want me to leave?" I ask.

"No honey, no." Lena moves from the armchair she's sat in to come and sit with me on the couch. "We like having you here, but we're not sure you're comfortable."

"I am comfortable, I mean earlier was really awkward but it's still a mile better than any other home I've been in."

"Well, that's great to hear. We talked to Brandon, he said he straightened things out with you?" Stef asks.

"Yeah, we're cool now. He was trying to like protect me or something." They nod along. "So, are you like, going to give me a punishment?" I sigh.

"You're grounded, for a week," Stef says.

"That's fair, sorry again."

"Go on up to bed, you come and talk to one of us or one of the kids if you need to. They've all made it pretty obvious that they're here for you, and so are we." Lena puts her arm around me. I head upstairs. Mariana and Callie are still up doing homework.

"What did they say?" Mariana asks. I sit down next to her.

"Grounded for a week."

"Why are you smiling?" She and Callie laugh at me.

"Because I've never had a punishment that doesn't involve being forced to skip dinner or being locked in my room, this house is amazing."

"You were smiling when you walked in the front door too." Callie comes and joins us on Mariana's bed. "Pretty weird considering you were in a pretty bad mood when you left, did you fix things with Jason?" I suddenly feel guilty.

"Uh no, I didn't speak to him." My smile fades.

"Are you okay?" Mariana puts her hand on my arm.

"I messed up," I say quietly. "I thought maybe, Jason and I were done but I'm starting to realise that he's a good guy and he'd understand." I babble.

"What do you mean Gracie?"

"I kissed someone else, I'm so confused right now." They look at each other in a weird way. "I knew it, it was messed up." I flop back on Mariana's bed.

"No, Gracie, it's okay. You made a mistake, the best of us do. You need to stop being so hard on yourself." Mariana makes me sit back up.

"What do I do?" I start crying a little.

"First of all, stop the tears." Callie laughs as she dries my cheek with her sleeve. "Boys aren't worth crying over, second of all, you should probably talk to Jason. He felt really bad when you stormed out at dinner."

"He felt bad? Why? I'm the one in the wrong."

"He said it's his fault that you felt like you couldn't talk to him about it."

"But why would I? We've only been together for like a few days."

"He obviously really likes you," Mariana says, only making me feel guiltier. "Do you not like him back?"

"I do, at least- I really thought I did."

"Who was this 'someone else' you kissed?"

"Rae, she's from-" I don't want to tell them she's John's adopted daughter, "She's from an old foster home. I just fell for her, and now I feel awful because of Jason, and I basically just proved Brandon right."

"It's not about Brandon, this is about you. What do you want? Who do you want?" Mariana gets really serious.

"I don't know, I thought I really clicked with Jason but with Rae, it's different. She's special."

"I think you just answered the question," Callie says.

"Girls," Stef comes in. "Lights out please, you have school tomorrow. Goodnight loves." We all say goodnight, I thank the girls for helping me out and we all go to bed. I find myself drifting to sleep when I suddenly remember that tomorrow is my birthday, Jason was going to plan something for me.

The next morning, I wake up feeling exhausted, last night I stayed up dreading today. I decide to act like it's just a normal day, as far as I'm concerned it is a normal day. I eat breakfast with everyone and get dressed and Callie drives Jude, Jesus and I to school, Mariana and Brandon both have a free period first thing.

"You got grounded huh?" Jesus asks. "I remember when Stef and Lena grounded me for the first time, yeah I hit this kid in my class." He laughs. "It's okay though, kind of worked out for the best, that's how everyone realised I had ADHD."

"Oh, uh cool? I guess." He's laughing at himself, so I just laugh along too. I had no idea he had ADHD, it's cool to learn things about the kids in this family, I feel closer to them all.

When we get to school, I see Jason waiting in the parking lot for me. He looks kind of sad. I don't know what to do, Callie sees him and then notices me panicking. She turns me to face her.

"It's okay, just go talk to him. You got this." She turns me back around. "Go." I take a deep breath and walk over to Jason, keeping my distance.

"Hey." He says, he's looking right into my eyes, but I can't look back at him the same way, I keep staring at the ground.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I don't really know what's going on with me right now." He gets up, walks to me and takes my hand.

"It's okay. All is forgiven and forgotten." He puts his arm around me. I'm confused, but I'm too nervous to say anything else. He smiles at me, and we just walk into school like nothing ever happened. At lunchtime he waits for me at my locker, he takes my hand and starts running, I have no idea where he's taking me, but I know it must be for my birthday. He leads me behind the school where pretty much no one ever goes because there's no cell signal or WIFI. I look through the trees and see the most beautiful picnic. There are day glow fairy lights and even a little cupcake with a candle on it. He sits down bringing me down next to him.

"This is beautiful. You really didn't have to do this."

"Happy Birthday beautiful." He kisses me. I feel kind of awkward, and very guilty but I play along. I'm too scared of what would happen if I told him about Rae. "Here." He picks up the little blue cupcake and lights the candle. "Make a wish." I haven't made a birthday wish in literally years, I haven't made any kind of wish, because I know that nothing I want ever happens. I close my eyes pretending to be deep in thought, and I blow out the candle.

We sit and eat all the little snacks he's prepared for us, it's so romantic and I feel so guilty. I was sure after talking with Callie and Mariana that I was going to be with Rachel, but Jason just treats me so well, and that's hard to come by in my life.

After school I try to avoid Jason's invitation to walk home with me, I tell him I promised Callie I would go to the library with her, luckily my lie is strengthened when she comes to tell me we have to run an errand for Stef and Lena. He kisses me goodbye which makes Callie give us a weird look. I get into her little blue Mini with her, I know she's going to ask about it.

"Please don't ask about Jason, I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Okay, that's cool. So, moms want us to get some groceries and stuff." She says, driving suspiciously slowly. "They're gonna be late home again so we're on dinner duty."

"Right, so did they give you a list?"

"Uh, yeah should be in my backpack, can you find it for me?"

"Sure." I start digging through her bag trying to find the little pink post-it note she's talking about, we pull up at the grocery store and I still can't find it. "It's not in here."

"You know what, you keep looking I've gotta call AJ."

"Uh okay." She gets out of the car and calls her boyfriend, I can't find this damn list anywhere. "Callie!" I stick my head out of the window.

"One sec, what?"

"It's not in here, are you sure you put it in here."

"Actually, coming to think of it, I think it's in the car somewhere, check the glove compartment." She walks round to the other side of the car to keep talking to AJ. I rummage through the glove box and every little pocket of the car, nothing. I spend a good 20 minutes looking through everything again. Callie opens the door. "I'm just gonna go in and get whatever, just hang out here." She leaves before I even get a second to respond. She walks painfully slowly into the store, takes an age getting a cart and I can see her browsing at different cereals through the glass windows. I sit and listen to music for almost an hour before Callie finally comes back, with only one grocery bag.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry I got distracted." She finally starts the car and drives a normal speed until we get home, it's almost getting dark now. When we get in the house all the lights are off.

"Where is everyone?" Callie ignores me and walks straight through to the kitchen. I start to realise what's going on. I follow her and look out to the backyard; all the string lights are on. "Callie?" She takes my hand leads me outside. It's beautiful, there's a huge banner that reads 'Happy Birthday Gracie!' in amazing typography. I can't help but love it. There's a huge crowd of people, Callie, Mariana, Jesus, Jude, Brandon, Taylor, Sophia and the Quinn's, and of course Jason. Stef and Lena must really be working late. For some reason when I saw everyone, I thought maybe Rae would be here.

"Happy Birthday!" They all yell out. Jason comes over and hugs me.

"Are you surprised?" He says.

"Yeah, I can't believe you did this for me!"

"You're not mad, are you? I knew it was risky, but I just want you to love your birthday."

"No, I'm not mad, it's beautiful, thank you." I kiss him on the cheek, still ridden with guilt. I can't believe all these people are here for me.


	20. Chapter 20

"Happy Birthday, it's from me and Jesus." Mariana hands me a little gift bag.

"Thank you!" I hug them both. I look inside the blue bag and it's a pretty grey dress, it's basic but it's very me.

"And me and Brandon got you these." Jude hands me a shoe box, they've bought me a really nice pair of white sneakers.

"Guys you didn't have to get me all this."

"Don't be stupid it's your birthday," Brandon says.

"Yeah, we just want you to feel at home," Jesus adds.

"Thank you so much." I feel a little bit emotional.

"Well go put them on!" Mariana sends me off upstairs. I look pretty decent in the dress, and the sneakers are my size too. I take my hair out of the ponytail and let it fall over my shoulders and I go back downstairs and straight over to Sophia. I say hello to her and her parents.

"Hey! How are you? I haven't spoken to you since the trial."

"I'm alright, things are going well." I pull her aside, so we can sit and talk.

"You don't seem like things are going well, what's up? Is it that guy?"

"Yeah, I guess. Um, you know how like, I'm gay, well I told some of the others and it was fine but then I met Jason and totally fell for him, and then Brandon outed me to him in front of everyone and I ran off because I was so embarrassed, and I met up with Rae and-"

"Wait, who's Rae?"

"Rachel, from um- from an old foster home-"

"As in Rachel, John's daughter? Gracie, why are you hanging out with her?"

"Adopted daughter, she said she's never really liked him anyway, but that's not the point, I met up with her and, well I don't know we just like really connected and we kissed and stuff and I didn't feel guilty because I was sure Jason would hate me because of what Brandon said and I was going to like officially end things with Jason but then he like forgave me? I guess? And I was too scared of how he'd react if he found I was cheating, which I don't even know if it counts as cheating because we never made anything official, and now I don't know what to do." I'm breathless from my ramble.

"First of all, calm down. And, I think you need to be honest with him if you really are only into girls, but I don't think you should be seeing that girl. It's not safe."

"You don't even know her, she's nothing like him."

"Who's nothing like who?" Callie comes and sits with us.

"Did you know Gracie's seeing Rachel?"

"Sophia!" I get angry.

"Yeah, she told me and Mariana she met up with her yesterday, she's from an old foster home, right?"

"She's John's daughter." Thankfully, Sophia whispers.

"What?!"

"Not so loud, look it's not a big deal, she's a good person." I get up and start to walk away from them, they follow me.

"Gracie!" Callie and Sophia stop me, Sophia's parents join us with another gift bag, it's a pretty big one. "This is from all of us," Callie says.

"Oh, wow." I take the bag. "Thank you."

"Open it," Robert says. We sit down at the buffet table. I open the huge bag and find a whole wardrobe of clothes, really cool clothes.

"Oh my God, this is amazing!"

"Look in the bottom!" Sophia sits next to me. Right at the bottom, there's a box, it's pretty heavy. It's wrapped in really delicate pink wrapping paper. I try to savour it but Soph starts rushing me, so I rip it all off to reveal a laptop. They got me a laptop?! I'm so much shock I can barely move.

"Wow, that's pretty nice." Jason comes over to us.

"I can't take this, it's too much." I'm almost crying.

"Don't be dumb, it's fine it's my old one, you always say how much you liked it." Sophia hugs me.

"Thank you, so much, this is insane!" I hug the whole family. I feel so lucky.

"You have a lot of people who love you." Jason takes my hand, I stand up to face him. I feel guilty again.

He takes me by the waist. Callie and Sophia give me a weird look. I'm guessing Mariana just assumed I picked him in the end. Jesus starts up the music and we all start dancing and having fun, I can deal with the Jason situation tomorrow, I don't want to hurt him after he did all this for me.

AJ arrives along with Mariana's boyfriend and Jesus and Jude's boyfriends and a pretty girl called Courtney who's Brandon's girlfriend. It just seems like more and more people want to celebrate with us. Stef and Lena join us a little while later, turns out they had no idea about the party and they got a little mad at the others. But I told them I was okay with the party and we would all clean up after and they let loose and danced with us. It ended up being a really fun night, I tried my hardest to make it look like all I wanted was Jason, and Sophia and Callie eventually forget about Rachel, but I don't. She's all I'm thinking about. After a few hours of dancing and eating and having fun, everyone helps clean up and people start to leave, I say goodbye to Sophia and promise I'll see her tomorrow to let her know what's going on, I've managed to convince her that I won't see Rae again.

Jason's the last one left. I walk him to the door to say goodnight. He's looking at me, in that way that he does. I just don't know what's going on with me, it's not like my feelings for him just disappeared completely, he's still an amazingly sweet guy. But what I have with Rae is different to what I have with Jason.

"Did you have a good night?"

"I had an amazing night, you did it. You made me love my birthday again." I kiss him. "I can't thank you enough."

"It's cool, doing this for you was so much fun and," He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue box, "I got you this."

"You've done enough, Jase."

"Just open it." He puts the box in my hand. It's obviously some kind of jewellery. I open to find a beautiful silver necklace with a G on it.

"Wow." I can't believe how amazing he is, and I can't believe I want to end it with him.

"What? You don't like it?"

"No, no I love it, it's gorgeous. I'm just, shocked." I can't take my eyes off of it. "It must have cost a lot of money."

"Money doesn't matter. Here," He takes it from me and spins me around to put it on for me, I feel like I'm in a movie. "You look amazing. As always." He grabs me by the waist and pulls me in for a kiss.

"Gracie." I hear Stef's voice and we immediately break our kiss. She and Lena are standing at the stairs. "Time to say goodnight."

"Night Jason, thanks again." He kisses me on the cheek.

"No worries. See you soon." He leaves, and I'm faced with Stef and Lena who have a pretty stern look on their faces.

"Kids, meeting in the kitchen!" Lena shouts. We all go into the kitchen and sit around the table.

"Now, we know it's Gracie's birthday and you wanted to do something special but she's grounded and you all knew that," Stef says. I completely forgot I was grounded.

"You're all grounded now," Lena says, she looks pretty annoyed.

"What?!" All the others yell.

"For two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" Jesus says.

"I'm supposed to be hanging out with Kiara tomorrow!" Callie shouts.

"And I'm seeing Noah tomorrow!" Jude says.

"I'm sorry kids, you should have thought about all that before you through this party."

They all start talking over each other trying to plead their cases, I feel awful. They did all that for me. Stef and Lena get even madder and make us all go to bed early. Callie and Mariana seem really pissed off as we get ready for bed. I start crying, trying to keep it silent.

"I'm so sorry, if I knew it would get you guys in trouble, I would have asked you to shut it down before they got home. Please don't be mad at me."

"We're not mad you, Gracie." Callie comes and sits next to me on my bed.

"You're not? But I got you all grounded."

"We got us grounded, besides we wouldn't have shut down the party even if you had asked. It's your birthday, you deserve to have an amazing day." Mariana joins us.

"Don't be sad, it's not every day you turn fifteen." Callie acts as if it's a huge milestone. "I'm so glad you made the right choice, with Jason I mean." Her and Mariana smile at me and all I feel is that guilt again. He's not the one for me, I just know it.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, I reach for my phone but all I find is the charger unplugged. I get up and open the curtains. Callie and Mariana groan as they wake up.

"Hey, have either of you guys seen my cell phone?" I start searching. "I know I plugged it in last night."

"I'll call it." Mariana reaches for her phone but it's not there. "Mine's gone too."

"So is mine," Callie says. "I'm guessing moms took them because we're grounded."

"But I have to text Sophia and tell her I can't see her today!"

"This is so unfair." Mariana flops back.

"I'm so sorry guys, it's all my fault."

"Stop blaming yourself Gracie, it's fine we've been grounded before." Callie gets out of bed. "Come on Mariana, you'll survive." She pulls Mariana out of bed and we all go down for breakfast, the boys are already down there trying to get their cell phones back.

"Brandon gets to keep his phone, why can't we?!" Jesus yells.

"Wait, Brandon gets his phone? That's not fair!" Mariana sits down next to him.

"Brandon is waiting for an important call, once he gets the call, we'll take his phone." Lena shuts everyone up.

"Can't we at least text people to cancel our plans?" Jude asks.

"You can call on the landline."

"Like we know anyone's numbers." Jesus eats grumpily. I still feel so bad.

"What are we gonna do all weekend?" Callie asks Mariana and me.

"This is gonna be good for you, Callie you have your senior project, Jude, Gracie you have your English assignment and-" I cut off Stef.

"Actually, we finished that," I say.

"Even better, you have more time to catch up in your other classes, Mariana, Jude, you can tutor Gracie, and Jesus-"

"I'm all caught up."

"We know," Lena says, "You can help Jude and Gracie figure out what team to join."

"Team?" I ask confused.

"Like sports? I get breathless walking up the stairs." Jude jokes.

"That's the point, almost all of your grade are some kind of sports team, they're getting extra credit and exercise, which both of you could use." I hate sports, I suck at literally everything. I don't say anything though, I don't want them to think I'm not taking my school work seriously. We finish up breakfast and Mariana starts tutoring me in our room. I've started picking things up a lot faster than I used to, and I'm getting better at taking notes and stuff.

"Are you sure you don't mind doing this? I'm sure you've got a lot of your own work to do to."

"No, it's cool, I love tutoring, it actually helps me out a lot too. Let's take a snack break." We go into the kitchen. "Have you thought about what sport you're gonna do?"

"I've thought it about it, I've thought about how un-athletic I am and how much I despise breaking the tiniest sweat." We pick at a bag of chips.

"Yeah, I used to be like that."

"Used to? Did you join a sports team?"

"Yeah I was on the dance team at school, and then me and my friend Tia started our own team."

"Do you still do it?"

"No, I had so much other school work going on that I just didn't have time for it, but I did get a lot of extra credit for it. You should join, I mean it takes a lot to get in but I could help you."

"I mean, yeah I guess it's a worth a shot."

"What's worth a shot?" Callie comes in from the backyard.

"Gracie's gonna try out for the dance team!"

"Well I don't know if I'll get in, but it does sound kind of fun."

"Tryouts are Monday so we better get practising, come on I'll teach you an old routine, you never know this could be your hidden talent!" Mariana takes my hand and we go out into the yard.

Mariana has me doing all these crazy moves, and it's actually not that hard. Callie watches us.

"You're doing a lot better than me when I tried out."

"You tried out?" I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, she was like Bambi on ice!" Mariana jokes, earning a playful punch from Callie. "Okay, show me the combo." Mariana sits down with Callie and I show them both the routine full out.

"How was that?"

"It was good, really good, you pick things up really quickly, just one tip though," Mariana comes back to me.

"Yeah?"

"You need to make everything bigger! So, when you do the turn, it's more like this." She demonstrates the turn and I see what she means.

We dance for a little longer and then we have more studying to do, then after we have lunch Jude tutors me and after that, it's dinner time. Stef and Brandon are both working late, so it's just us and Lena.

"Jude, Gracie, did you figure out your sports elective?"

"Gracie did!" Mariana says before we get a chance to say anything.

"That's great, what team are you joining?"

"I might not get in, but I'm trying out for the dance team on Monday. Mariana taught me a combo for my audition." I'm actually a little excited.

"I'm very proud of you. Jude, you pick something?"

"I don't know, maybe Badminton, that looks easy."

"It's not about it being easy Bubba, it's about getting credit and exercise!" Lena argues back.

"Well, I can't dance, I can't wrestle, I can't run."

"What about swimming?" I suggest.

"That's not a bad idea Jude, you used to pretend you were swimming in the Olympics every time you'd take a bath when you were little," Callie says, everyone laughs at him. The door knocks.

"I'll get it," I say politely, I'm not that hungry anyway. I open the door and see the familiar blonde hair I've missed so much. It's only been a day and a half. "Rae, you can't be here." She ignores me and pulls me in for a kiss, which I don't resist at all.


	22. Chapter 22

"I missed you. I want to see you more." She whispers.

"I missed you too, but I'm grounded, I got my cell phone taken off me."

"So? Ditch school to see me, it can't be that hard."

"Gracie?" Lena shouts. I push Rae outside and go with her on the porch, leaving the door ajar behind us.

"I'm not ditching school, my foster mom's the vice principal! I want you here so bad, but if they find out I'm seeing you they might kick me out and I'll have to go back to a group home."

"I'll come to your school then, Anchor Beach, right?" She winks.

"You can't-" I hear footsteps, "Go!" I shove Rachel down the steps of the porch and she hides behind a bush.

"Gracie?" Lena comes out on to the porch. "Who was it?"

"Ding-dong-ditcher, some dumb kids playing a prank." I go back inside, Lena follows me, looking a little confused.

After dinner, Lena lets us watch a movie because we all got so much work done. I can't concentrate on the TV though, I'm just thinking about Rae. What if she really does show up at school on Monday? I could get in so much trouble if we get caught. I start to feel a little bit overwhelmed.

"I'm gonna go to bed early, I'll see you guys tomorrow." I get up and I get a sharp pain in my stomach.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good." Jesus says.

"I'm fine just a little-" I get dizzy. "Just a little tired." I reach the steps up to the hallway and I stumble.

"Gracie!" Lena rushes to me. I lose my footing and fall into her arms, everything goes dark.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"It's nothing serious right?"

"Is it something she ate?"

I open my eyes to a bright white ceiling with blinding lights.

"She's awake!" I look around me and see the whole Adams-Fosters family standing around me.

"What happened?" I say.

"You passed out sweetie, you don't remember?" Lena takes my hand.

"Why?" I ask.

"We don't know yet, the doctor has run some tests, we'll have the results in the morning. Do you have any idea what could have brought this on?" Stef leans on the edge of my bed. I'm wearing a hospital gown.

"No, I just remember feeling dizzy and tired right before it went dark, but I'm always tired." I look at all of their faces, they all look so worried.

"Hey, uh, since Gracie could be here for a few days, why don't you guys go home and get her some clothes and her toothbrush and stuff? We'll stay with her." Callie says to her mom's.

"Is that okay with you Gracie?" Lena asks me, I nod in response. Her and Stef both kiss my head and they leave me with the other kids.

"So, Gracie, we wanted to ask you something." Mariana comes and sits on the bed. The others come closer.

"Would you be okay with it if we asked Stef and Lena to keep fostering you? And then keep you forever?" Jude asks. I can't believe what they're saying.

"What? Like, adopt me?" I sit up, trying to wrap my head around it.

"Yeah, if you're cool with it?" Jesus asks.

"I mean, yeah I'd love it, but Stef and Lena already said they couldn't keep me, they were pretty clear about it."

"We know," Brandon says.

"They only said that for us, they thought we wouldn't be cool with having another family member, but we are, we really like having you around." Callie smiles at me. They all do.

"Really? Well, yeah go for it. I mean I'm not gonna get my hopes up and neither should you, but it would be pretty cool if I was like a permanent part of the family." I don't really know what to think. I should be happy, right? But I just can't see it working out for me, nothing ever does. "Thanks, guys."

"Hey!" I hear Sophia's voice, I look over and she's in the doorway with her parents.

"We'll let you guys talk." The Fosters leave the room.

"We're gonna get some coffee, we'll be back in a few," Robert says, he and Jill go outside, closing the door behind them.

"What happened? Callie told us you were here." Sophia hugs me tight.

"I don't know, I passed out, but we don't know why yet." I suddenly feel really sick, before I just felt a little wobbly but now, I feel like I'm going to throw up. "Hand me that." I point to the trash can on the ground, Sophia rushes to give it to me. I turn away from her and puke my guts out. A nurse rushes in to take care of me. She rubs my back as I puke and when I'm done, she wipes my mouth and feeds me water. "I'm okay, thanks." She adjusts the position of my bed so I'm sitting upright. The nurse leaves the room, leaving the door open.

"Are you okay?" Sophia takes my hand.

"I'm fine, that actually made me feel a lot better."

"Well, I have something that might make you feel way better!" She smiles like she does when she's excited about something. "Okay, so you know how a couple of years ago, I asked my dad to foster you?" I nod, confused. "And he said no because neither of us was in a good place, mentally. Well, I asked him and mom to revisit the idea and..." I can't believe this, "They want to foster you and then hopefully adopt you!" She hugs me again. "What is it? You're not excited?"

"No, I am, I mean that's amazing!" I now I have this huge decision to make, if Stef and Lena say yes that is. I honestly don't know who I'd choose.


	23. Chapter 23

After an hour or so, Sophia goes home, and Stef and Lena come back with some of my stuff.

"Here, sweetie," Stef hands me my phone, "Call Jason and let him know you're okay, he came by the house."

"Oh, thanks." I take the phone. I can barely think about Jason and Rae right now, I can't take my mind off of what the Fosters and Sophia said.

"But you're still grounded, we'll take it back once you're done," Lena says. I turn my phone on and I have a million missed calls from him, and a few from Rachel and Sophia too. I text Jason, telling him I passed out and I'm sure I'll be back at home soon. I couldn't face calling him, I still feel guilty about Rachel. I contemplate texting her too, but I decide not to, I don't want her to worry too much. Lena takes the phone back, switching it off.

"So, listen, love, I have to go back to work and Lena has a meeting tomorrow morning so neither of us can stay with you, do you think you'll be okay alone?" Stef asks.

"I can stay, I don't mind," Callie says.

"I don't know sweetie-"

"No honestly, it's better than leaving her alone."

"Please," I say. Stef and Lena look at each other, it's like they always know what the other one's thinking.

"Okay, but Callie, you be back home first thing tomorrow and Gracie, I'll be back to see you in the morning." Stef hugs me. I say my goodbyes to everyone and Callie makes herself comfortable in the armchair next to my bed.

"What do you think is wrong with me?" I ask her.

"I don't know, maybe food poisoning? I doubt it's anything serious, otherwise, they would have like rushed all your tests and we'd know by now. Are you scared?"

"No, I mean, not about this, your dad and Jill want to foster me, and maybe adopt me." I open up.

"Really?" She doesn't seem happy. "Do you want to live with them?"

"I don't know, I love living with you guys, but I can't help but feel like I could be yanked out of the home at any moment, it's happened a lot. I've been in foster homes where they just take me away without any rhyme or reason."

"I've been there, but with the Fosters it was different, they always got me back. We're a family, that's how it works."

"So, you guys haven't talked to Stef and Lena yet?"

"Not yet, we're gonna do it tomorrow, if you still want us to?"

"Yeah, definitely, but I still don't know who I'd choose, I take up so much space in your house, but I don't know I feel like there's just too much space in Sophia's house, that must sound crazy."

"No, it's not crazy, and you don't take up too much space, besides, Brandon said he would go back to staying with Cortney full time, he's totally cool with moving out completely."

"I can't ask him to do that!"

"He wants you to have a home, Gracie. Either me or Mariana would take his room and then there's more space for you and your stuff."

"You guys are so damn nice. And I can't believe Jesus is cool with someone other than him getting Brandon's room. "I laugh. I start to swing more towards the idea of staying with the Fosters. "I better get some sleep, sorry you have to stay with me." I get into the pyjamas Stef and Lena brought me.

"Don't be stupid, I want to stay." She gets up to turn the lights off and I settle down to go to sleep.

The night is restless, every hour the nurse comes in to check my pulse and temperature, she tries not to wake me but after the first couple of times, I can't get back to sleep. I throw up a few times and I got a sharp pain in my stomach in the middle of the night, I didn't wake Callie though, I went out into the hall to find the nurse and she gave me some painkillers through the IV in my hand. It seems Callie had a pretty long night too, she wakes up stretching out of the uncomfortable position she's got herself in to on that armchair.

"Morning." She rubs her eyes. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't, I got sick again and then I had a weird pain in my stomach and got some painkillers, they made me drowsy, but I couldn't get any real sleep. How about you?"

"I was so exhausted that I basically blacked out. Do you feel okay now? Still in any pain?"

"A little, it comes in bursts."

"Hey girls," Stef comes in closing the door behind her, still in her cop uniform, she must not have even gone home yet, "Are you alright Gracie? The nurse told me you were sick in the night? And you were in pain?"

"Yeah, I'm okay right now, but it did keep me up."

"Hopefully we'll get this all fixed today." She squeezes my hand reassuringly. "Callie, Brandon will be here any minute to take you home, keep working on your project."

"Okay, when can we come back?" She gets up. I wouldn't want to come back here if I had the choice.

"I'll call Mama and let her know what's going on, if Gracie still needs to be here then you can all come after dinner."

"Cool, see you later Gracie, hope it all works out." She hugs Stef and I and lazily trails out of my room.

"When's the doctor supposed to come by?" I ask her, sitting up in my bed.

"They make their rounds at nine, so he should be here sometime around then, we have about a half hour. Are you hungry?"

"I am but the nurse said I shouldn't eat anything, just because they don't know what's wrong yet and they don't know if eating is a good idea right now, but could you refill my water?"

"Sure, love." She goes out to the nurse's station and comes back with a large jug of iced water and a doctor following her in.

"Gracie, this is Doctor Graves."

"Hi." I shake his hand.

"Morning," He sits on the end of my bed, "How are you feeling today?" He has a clipboard in hand.

"I'm okay, just tired."

"She was vomiting in the night," Stef interjects.

"I see, so we have the results of all your tests and scans and you have a stomach ulcer."

"Is that serious?" I panic slightly.

"It's very easily treated, and it's not too bad, you're lucky you came in so early otherwise things could have gotten worse."

"What could have caused it?" Stef asks, folding her arms.

"Some people believe it can be due to stress, would you say your life is stressful Gracie?" Stef and I give each other a look.

"Yes."

"Right, well there's no evidence at the moment to suggest that it can't be due to stress, so we won't rule that out, other causes can be an infection called Helicobacter Pylori or taking specific types of painkillers for a prolonged amount of time. Do you take any medication?"

"No, not painkillers anyway."

"So, it's down to infection most likely?" Stef takes my hand again.

"Yes, now uh, you said you're not on painkillers, but do you take any other meds? We don't have you on file here, so you'll have to help me out a bit."

"I take pills for my PTSD, I get those on my benefit, they're like an anxiety drug, a beta blocker."

"Okay, I'll prescribe you some strong antibiotics that will kill all the bad cells causing the ulcer, should take about three weeks, any longer then you call my office." He hands Stef his little card and a piece of paper with my prescription on it. "Pick them up at the pharmacy on your way out. Gracie, you take it easy, no school for at least a week and not too much exercise for about a month. If something's stressing you out, cut that thing out of your life okay?"

"Okay." My throat is dry. Cut the stressful things out of my life? So, everything then?

"So, she's cleared to come home?"

"Yes, she's doing fine. She might be nauseous for a few days, but you'll notice the difference with the antibiotics."

"Thank you," I say.

"Thanks, Doctor." He shakes both of our hands and leaves.

"That's good news, right?" I ask Stef.

"Yeah, it is, come on let's get you home." Stef helps me out of bed. I'm a little wobbly so she has to help me walk, we thank my nurse on our way out. It just seems that nothing good can happen without something bad happening, now I can't try out for the dance team and I can't get extra credit.


	24. Chapter 24

Everyone greets me and tells me they're glad I'm okay when I come through the door. They help me into the living room to sit down.

"Guys you don't have to fuss over me, I'm fine really."

"You're sick Gracie, we'll take care of you," Lena says, smiling. Why are they so kind to me?

"On our way out, the nurse said you should avoid sugary foods and coffee." Stef plumps the pillows behind me while Mariana covers me up with a blanket, it feels weird being treated like this. "Jesus go make her some toast." He complies and goes off. "Are you cold Gracie? Mariana go get her comforter." She doesn't even give me a chance to answer. "Do you need anything else?"

"I'm fine, honestly." I may be lying, my stomach does hurt, but I don't like all this attention. I'm not good at accepting help. Callie and Jude sit down next to me.

"I think she just wants to relax, we had a long night," Callie says. At least she can say it.

"She's right Stef, come on, you need sleep." Lena takes her wife's hands and pulls her out of the room. Jude switches on the TV.

"I wish I got this kind of treatment when I get grounded," Jude says, "Just kidding, so stomach ulcer? That can't be fun." He puts the TV on.

"It's not, but I'm good, they gave me painkillers at the hospital so I'm like floating on a cloud right now." I'm getting tired of talking about myself all the time.

"Well, I personally can't wait to go back to school tomorrow." Jude and I look at Callie in confusion. "What? Sitting around doing my project for two days is draining me."

"Well I won't be going back, doc said no school for a week, so I get to fall more behind, lucky me." I realise that I'm the one always talking about myself.

"Taylor and I will bring you all your homework, don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Jude." Mariana comes down with my comforter and Jesus comes in with a stack of toast. "Uh, thanks." I laugh at his ridiculous idea of a portion size. I share it with Callie and Jude as we watch dumb cartoons. If this is what weekends are gonna be like, maybe I want to stay with the Fosters. In Sophia's house, everything is so formal, you'd never catch the Quinn's laying back on the sofa in their pyjamas on a Sunday.

After slacking off for a few hours, Lena brings me my backpack, so Jude and I can do homework, she takes the TV remote away from us too. But it's cool, I like studying with Jude, he's really smart. Mariana comes and tutors me for a bit too, and later Stef and Lena don't make us eat around the table at lunch and dinner time, we all sit in front of the TV to eat. They order in pizza for dinner.

"Being grounded is delicious." Jesus scarfs down his food.

"This is a one-off, there's so much going on we just don't have time to cook all the time," Lena says. I finish up my food and decide to go to bed early. I started to feel a little down, there's a lot for me to be sad about but I don't feel sadness, just a little empty.

"Thanks for dinner," I say, Mariana carries my comforter up after me and brings me a glass of water, I'm so exhausted that I don't even feel pitied anymore, I'm just grateful for her help.

I'm tired but I can't get to sleep, I just lie here. Eventually, Callie and Mariana go to bed, but I still lie there, motionless.

"Guys," I say, "You haven't asked them yet have you?" I ask.

"No, not yet." Mariana climbs into bed.

"Could you wait a little longer? Just until everything's a bit more normal."

"Sure, whatever you want. Night guys." Callie switches the lights off.

I stay awake all night. I'm not even sure what I'm same happens every night through the week, and in the daytime, I lay on the sofa doing the same thing, I study but I get worse at taking anything in. The sun shines through the blinds on Thursday morning and the girls get up for school.

"Gracie?" Mariana looks at me as she gets ready. "Are you alright?" I don't say anything. "Why don't you go back to sleep? You still have two days off." Nothing. I feel nothing.

"What's up?" Callie kneels in front of me. "Is this about Jason?" She whispers and waits for an answer. "Mariana, get Stef." She gives me a strange look before leaving the room. "Hey," Callie holds my hand, "Talk to me." I pull my hand away. I don't know what's wrong with me. "You've been acting weird all week." Mariana comes back with Stef standing behind her.

"Girls, go have breakfast, you'll be late for school." She closes the door behind them. "What is it, love?" Stef takes Callie's seat on the floor in front of me. "You feel sick?" I shake my head. "Oh, I get it. You're not... you're not hurting yourself again?"

"No, I promise, but..."

"You're scared you might?" I nod. "I want to help you, and I know you don't want to be like this, so just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm not okay. I haven't been for a while. I've just been in denial. I've grown tired of pretending." I stare at the wall.

"You feel depressed?" I can tell she feels awkward talking about this. I nod. "I think it's about time we get you on some medication, and back to your counsellor."

"I can't afford my meds. That's why I'm still like this."

"You're not financially responsible, I will take care of the money, you take care of you." She takes my chin and makes me look at her. "Deal?" I nod, letting a tear roll down my cheek.

"I'm scared." She pulls me in for a hug.

"Come on," She takes my hand, "Come and sit downstairs with me." I listen to her, going with her to sit at the kitchen table. "Are you hungry?" I shake my head. She clears up the table, making me a bowl of cereal anyway. "You have to eat." I nod and eat it up slowly. She goes off into the other room to call a doctor, I can't hear what she's saying but it makes me uncomfortable knowing she's talking about me.

I'll have to talk to a counsellor and talk about my feelings, I don't even know what I'm feeling, how am I supposed to explain that to a complete stranger. All I want to do is talk to Rachel. I know she'll make me feel better in an instant.

Stef comes back in and sits down with me. "I've made you an appointment for two hours from now. But for now," She pulls my cell phone out of her pocket, "Have this, talk to Jason or a friend, friends are really important at times like this." I reluctantly take it from her, feeling guilty knowing I'll be using it to talk to someone I really shouldn't be.

"Thank you. Can I go sit outside? I think I need some air." She nods and smiles, gently stroking my arm. I walk outside and sit down on the cushioned bench, building up the courage to click the green button next to Rachel's name. I take a deep breath and push it, bringing the phone up to my ear. The ringing sets me at ease, knowing I'm about to hear her voice sends a wave of calm through my body.

"Hey, I went to see you at your school on Monday, where were you?" She says. Her voice is so comforting. "Gracie? Are you crying?"

"Sorry, I'm so happy to hear your voice right now."

"I feel the same way. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"So? Where were you Monday?"

"Right, I have a stomach ulcer, I passed out last week and they took me to hospital. I've had the week off school."

"Oh my God, you're okay now though, right?"

"Yeah I'm fine, well kind of."

"What do you mean? Are you relapsing?"

"Yeah I guess, I have a doctor's appointment later, Stef said she and Lena can pay for my meds now."

"Well that's great, you'll be okay. I know you will."

"Let's not talk about me, tell me about you. What are you up to?"

"Well, I'm currently staying at a friend's house, my mom's having a meltdown, so I decided it would be best to let her figure stuff out alone and then we'll be back together. I'm not too far from your house actually, so we could meet when you're ungrounded?"

"Yeah, definitely. Still have another week and a half though."

"Gracie, I know we haven't known each other very long but I really, and I mean really like you. I hate not being with you. Especially now you're going through all this crap."

"I really, really like you too, and I wish you were here just as much as you do. But we'll see each other soon."

"I'm so glad you've broken up with Jason, now we can be together." I haven't spoken to Jason at all. How would I have broken up with him? I can't bring myself to tell her that we're still together.


	25. Chapter 25

Stef and I get out of the car at the doctor's office, she walks me inside and everything feels like slow motion. I'm terrified but knowing just how scared I am, makes me realise that I'm not a hopeless case. Having feelings of any kind is a good sign, even if they are bad ones. Because the appointment was booked as an emergency, we don't have to sit in the waiting room for very long. Stef comes into the office with me, the doctor seems nice, her name is Doctor Miller.

"So, what can I help you with today?" I assumed she would already know.

"Do you want me to talk for you?" Stef asks me quietly, I nod. "Gracie has been dealing with diagnosed anxiety and depression for most of her life, her benefits pay for her anxiety medication, but she couldn't afford anti-depressants. Now she's living with our family the financial side of things is not her responsibility, so I guess what we need is for you to prescribe something. Is that right Gracie?" I nod again.

"Right, well I can't prescribe you anything until I know a little more about what you're feeling, could you elaborate?" She looks right at me, expecting me to talk but I can't. I look to Stef.

"She's got a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts and even attempts." She seems kind of uncomfortable, but no one can be more uncomfortable than me right now.

"Okay, would you say you feel depressed all the time?"

"Um, not all the time, just most of it. But, I guess, usually I get depressed for a reason, my old doctor said it was situational depression, but it doesn't feel like that this time, it just kind of came out of nowhere." She starts writing things down.

"Okay, I think I know where you're coming from, I'm going to put you on a low dose of Zoloft, and recommend you see a counsellor at school or a youth centre, I want you to come back in 3 weeks and if you feel you need something stronger I'll see what I can do." Wow, that wasn't so bad. I already feel like things might be okay. She hands Stef the prescription form.

"Thank you, Doctor Miller." She says.

"Thank you." Stef and I pick up my prescription and go back home, I take one of the little pills and Stef lets me head back up to bed for a nap.

When I get up there, I notice something by the window. I walk over to open it and see a ladder beneath me, Rachel is climbing up.

"What the hell? You can't be here." I try to keep her out, no matter how much I want to hug her right now.

"It's fine," She climbs through the window almost knocking over Mariana's vanity, "I just had to make sure you were okay, how was your appointment?"

"It was fine, but you have to go, I'm already grounded." I try to usher her back down the ladder.

"You don't seem fine." She hugs me and kisses my cheek, I feel flustered and dizzy. I feel so guilty, she still doesn't know I haven't left Jason.

"Thank you for caring but I don't want to get in more trouble, and I don't want you in trouble." I get breathless.

"Hey, it's okay. Sit down." I have to grip my stomach as the pain starts to get bad again, I'm supposed to avoid stress.

"You need to go!" I tear up a little bit, the pain is so bad now.

"I'm not leaving you like this, do you need a doctor?" I can't answer at this point, it's agony.

"Gracie you up there?" I hear Mariana's voice; the others are back from school.

"G-go, get... out... now!" I say to Rae. She doesn't move from my side, my vision blurs but I can just about make out Mariana and Callie in the doorway. Their voices muffle away and I slip off of the bed on to the floor. I feel smothered as they gather around me, the only thing I can focus on is the pain, it feels like someone's stabbed me and they're twisting the knife. I try to roll onto my front and I throw up everywhere, it's mostly blood. The girls start to scream.

Someone calls an ambulance and Lena and Mariana ride with me, I'm conscious for it all but I can't see too well, and I can't respond to anyone. Doctors and nurses stick needles into me and I'm taken away on a gurney into a small room in the hospital, another needle is stuck in my arm and quickly I start to fall asleep.

I wake up in the same hospital room I was in last time, this time only Lena is here instead of the whole family.

"Are you okay?" She sounds concerned for me, but also a little mad. I remember why instantly. Rachel wouldn't leave, Callie and Mariana saw her, which means everyone must have seen her.

"Where's Rachel?" I sit up.

"Forget about her, how do you feel?" If Lena wants to avoid talking about her that's fine.

"It hurts. What happened? I remember the ambulance ride here."

"You have severe internal bleeding, we've started your blood transfusion." Doctor Graves walks in. "You were very lucky. Do you need any more painkillers?" He asks I nod, and he walks back out.

"I'm gonna get some air, will you be okay?" She won't look at me properly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I watch her walk out and through the window, I can see all the others standing in the hallway talking, Mariana shifts and when she does, I see Jason standing with them. Why is he here but Rachel's not? He sees me and pushes past everyone into my room. He hugs and kisses me.

"You scared me so much, it's hard enough not being able to talk because you're grounded but with you being sick it's even harder." He still doesn't know about Rachel.

"I'm fine," I say bluntly.

"You'd think they'd unground seeing as you can't go anywhere anyway, it would just be easier if you had your phone back."

"I know." I can't help but stare out of the window hoping Rae comes, why hasn't anyone mentioned her? Where is she? I notice Callie's not with everyone. "Where's Callie?" I ask Jason.

"I'm not sure, they didn't say anything."

"Mariana?" I call her.

"Are you alright?" She comes in, she has the same expression as Lena.

"Where's Callie?"

"Uh," She shuts the door behind her, "She's at the police station."

"What? What did she do? She was there when I went down..."

"You have to promise to stay calm,"

"Tell me, Mariana."

"She and Rachel had a pretty bad fight," My eyes widen,

"Jason, get out." He doesn't say anything, he just leaves, closing the door behind him.

"Mom called the cops on Rachel as soon as she saw what happened and when they arrived, she told them that Callie hit her too and they had no choice but to arrest both of them. Stef's at the station waiting for her now."

"They're both there? Are they hurt? What started the fight?" Rachel's not violent, how could she hit Callie?

"Rachel's fine just a few bruises, but Callie had a pretty bad nose bleed, a cut on her cheek and she might have a broken wrist. Callie yelled at her for being in the house and said some nasty things about her mom, then Rachel retaliated, and she just swung for her, and Callie just defended herself. You shouldn't have had her in the house. Don't you remember what her dad did to you?" She folds her arms.

"The key word there is me, he did it to me not any of you. It's not up to you to choose who I hang out with, and anyway I didn't even invite her over she just turned up in my room."

"She literally broke into our house? Gracie, why are you being so dumb?"

"She means a lot to me."

"She can't mean that much if you're cheating on her." Mariana closes her case. She took it too far. I get out of bed and follow her into the hall, no matter how weak I feel. I have to bring my IV stand with me.

"You don't get to judge me!" I shove her. "You've done worse, with your sister's boyfriend!"

"Shut up!" She shoves me back.

"Girls stop it, Gracie, go back to bed." Lena pulls me away from Mariana. "What the hell is going on?" She shouts at me. "Silent treatment? Gracie, we've welcomed you into our family, you can't treat people like that, especially family."

"I'm sorry." I break down. "My heart can't take it. No, I can't cry about this anymore." I suck it up. "I'm sorry for bringing her into the house, I'm sorry that I'm dating her, I'm sorry I'm cheating on Jason, I'm sorry that I pushed Mariana and I'm sorry I ever came into your house. I can't help it sometimes, I'm just an awful person."

"You're not, you're a great person. Look, I know you're struggling right now, but when things get tough you can't just lash out. I've had enough of you kids getting hurt or sick.

"Are you gonna ground me for longer?"

"No, being here is punishment enough."

"Is Stef mad?"

"I think she's just upset that you didn't tell her about, you know, Rachel."

"I wanted to tell you guys. I really am sorry, you're right, I've been ungrateful. I am grateful though, I've never felt more at home than I have with you guys." Lena pulls me in for a hug.

"We love having you at home too. Now, you need to talk to Jason. It's not fair to him."

"I know," I touch the necklace he gave me, "I just don't want to hurt him."

"As brutal as it sounds, you should have thought of that before you got involved with her."


	26. Chapter 26

Once my 3-hour long blood transfusion is over, I let Jason back into the room. I'm absolutely terrified. Not to mention the pain still in my stomach.

"Hey, what was all the fighting with Mariana? I thought you two were close."

"Yeah we are, it was just a one-off."

"And who's Rachel?"

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Rachel. She's the adopted daughter of this couple that I stayed with before I came to live with the Adams-Fosters."

"So?"

"The dad was a really bad guy and I had to run away, and I had to go through this whole court case trial thing, he's in prison now but basically I've been hanging out with Rachel a lot."

"And your foster family are mad at you for that?"

"Yeah but, Jason, I've been lying to you." He takes my hands.

"Whatever it is you can tell me." I have to pull away from him.

"The night you had dinner at the Fosters, and Brandon said that stuff about me being gay, I thought you would want to end it with me for sure. So, I ran to the beach and I met Rachel and... we kissed, and we've sort of been dating since then, she thought I ended it with you."

"You cheated on me?" He looks shell-shocked.

"I'm so sorry, I do still like you, but I just don't know what's gotten into me," I take off the necklace he gave me and hold it out to him, "Here, you should take this back. He snatches it out of my hand and storms out, slamming the door behind him. It hurts me to see him so heartbroken, but it would have been worse if I let it go on any longer. I let myself cry over him, well I convince myself I'm crying over him when really, I just want Rae. But I'll have to tell her I lied to her too, what if she reacts as bad as Jason did? Then I'll have lost them both.

"Hey, Gracie?" Jude comes into my room. "I saw Jason leave, he looked pretty bummed."

"I had to be honest with him." I cry. Jude comes and sits next to me, he puts his arm around me.

"It's for the best, are you going to talk to that girl again?"

"I don't know, I mean, I want to, I really like her. But she's in a lot of trouble now so I don't even know how I would reach her."

"Doesn't it make you feel different about her, knowing what she did to Callie?"

"Callie hit Rachel too, but yeah I guess it does. I didn't know she was capable of something like that. I'm sorry Jude."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Since the second I got here I've just caused so much drama."

"There's always drama at our house, if you weren't here, one of us would probably be in hospital or juvie or something. That's just the way we work."

"Gracie," Lena comes in, "Doctor Graves wants to talk, Bubba can you wait outside?" She asks Jude, Doctor Graves comes in and takes Jude's place next to me.

"You feeling any better? The painkillers fading yet?"

"I feel well I guess, but the pain is still pretty bad yeah."

"Okay I'll get you on some more painkillers ASAP, so here's the situation, you're internal bleeding is still pretty bad, and we did what we could to stop it when you arrived, but I think I'd like to go back in and properly fix it, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah that's fine, I just want to go home. Lena? Is it okay if I have the surgery?" She nods, but I can tell she's worried about all the medical bills.

"Fantastic, don't eat anything from now onwards, and we'll get you into theatre tomorrow morning." He nods and smiles and leaves the room.

"Lena, is Mariana still here? I need to apologise."

"She's back home, but you'll see her tomorrow."

"What about Callie? Is she still being detained?"

"Uh no, she's actually here, on another ward. She hit her head pretty hard and has a mild concussion."

"From Rachel?" Lena nods. "God, this is all my fault."

"Don't worry about it, you get some sleep. We have to get home now, but we'll be back before you know it okay?" She kisses my head.

I don't want to be left alone here, but I understand she has to take the others home and she can't leave them home alone. I mean, she probably could, Brandon's old enough to be responsible, maybe he's staying at Courtney's tonight. I guess I'm not really here, Stef's here with Callie. I make sure Lena and the others really are gone and I get out of bed and go into the hallway, I want to go see if Callie's okay but I'm not very good at sneaking around. One of the nurses comes over to me.

"Can I help you?" She folds her arms.

"I just want to go and see my foster sister." At first, it looks like she's gonna send me back to bed, but I guess she can see that I really need to see her.

"Okay, you shouldn't be on foot though, we don't want you blacking out again." She brings me a wheelchair with a pole coming off the top, for my IV bag. "Do you know where she is?"

"No, she hit her head, what ward would that be?"

"What's her name?"

"Callie Adams-Foster." The nurse goes over to her desk and quickly types up Callie's name and finds her within a few minutes. She takes me down the hall and around a few corners until we get to a big room with 4 beds in it, 3 of them are empty, but one in the far corner is taken by Callie. Stef is asleep in the armchair next to her.

"Callie?" The nurse steps outside and I wheel myself over to her. "I'm really sorry." Stef wakes up.

"It's not your fault." She smiles at me.

"Aren't you mad?"

"No of course not, you're my sister." Stef smiles at the two of us.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, just a bump on the head and sore arm."

"What about your nose?"

"It's fine, not broken. There's really no need for me to be here, they just wanted me to stay one night just in case. You had a blood transfusion?"

"Yeah, it was nothing. Listen, Callie, I am really sorry, if I wasn't still talking to her then it wouldn't have happened."

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault, it was hers."


	27. Chapter 27

I go into surgery pretty much as soon as I wake up the next day, Callie has been discharged so she, Lena and all the others are at home and Stef's in the waiting room. I'm not really nervous going into it, I just want to get back home and get better. I feel like such a burden. Why can't I just be normal? The doctors are really nice to me as they put me to sleep and the next thing I know I'm waking up in a recovery room, my stomach hurts but I'm on a lot of painkillers so it's kind of muted. Stef is here with me.

"Hey, how're you feeling, love?" She's holding my hand.

"I'm okay, did they fix everything?" I can tell I'm slurring my words, but I don't feel to hazy.

"They did, you can come home later, but you're staying in bed until you're better." She strokes my face, she really does care about me, no matter how much trouble I've caused. I nod. After the nurses make sure I'm fully awake, they take me back to my room. The first thing we all notice is a bouquet of balloons in the corner, a white teddy bear on the chair in the corner, a vase of flowers on the table and a box of chocolates next to my bed. Stef reads the note attached to the balloons.

"Who's it from?" She rolls her eyes and hands it to me, it just says 'Rae'.

"I'll throw them out." She starts to scoop everything up.

"No Stef," She looks at me, she looks like she's going to yell, but she doesn't, "Please."

"Fine," She moves the bear over slightly, so she can sit down, "How did she even get all this in here?" I shrug, if I knew I would get her to come back, I wish I could see her, or just talk to her.

"How long 'til we get our phones back?" I ask.

"Four days. You, kids, are so obsessed with your phones."

"Well, they don't train owls to send messages anymore." I realize that was kind of cheeky. If I said that to any of my old foster parents I would have been locked in my room for a couple of nights, but Stef laughs it off. "How's Callie?" I didn't get to see her before she went home this morning.

"She's fine, just a little worn out."

"I know you don't want to talk about her but-"

"Gracie-"

"I just want to know what the cops said."

"It doesn't matter, she's out of your life, be thankful." I'm not thankful, I'm hurting. I love her. Like I actually love her, and now I'm so confused. But there's no budging Stef, she won't tell me a thing.

She seems kind of pissed off with me for the rest of the day, but she still takes care of me. The whole family does. They all want me to eat dinner in bed or on the coach, but I insist on eating at the table with everyone. We're all talking about Brandon moving out and deciding whether Callie or Mariana should take his room.

"I know it's pretty packed in your room girls, but I don't think any of you should take B's room," Stef says.

"Mom it's fine, it makes sense for someone to move in there."

"Yeah we've all discussed it, even Jesus wants one of us to take it," Callie says.

"Really?" Lena says. She and Stef seem shocked.

"Yeah, I'm a good guy. Gracie can't keep sleeping on that camp bed."

"I really don't mind guys." I try to stay out of it.

"Well, which one of you would take it?" Lena asks the girls.

"We haven't figured it out yet," Mariana says.

"Okay, well as long as you don't fight over it and you do all the moving yourself-"

"And no painting or major redecorating." Lena interrupts.

"Then it's fine with us." Callie and Mariana high five and start discussing who's moving in.

"Not at the table, I don't want to be involved in any of this." Stef starts clearing up after us. All the others help out too.

"Gracie, you can get into my bed if you want, you'll get a better night's sleep in there."

"Thanks, Mariana, um, Lena can I talk to you for a sec."

"Sure sweetie, let's go upstairs."

Lena helps me get comfortable in Mariana's bed. "What is it?"

"Well, I've already missed a lot of school, and now I'm going to miss even more, I know I'm really far behind. Can you just be honest and tell me if I'm going to pass the 9th grade?"

"It doesn't look good right now, but there's always summer school and tutoring."

"Do you think I'm going to be able to make it, though?"

"I don't know Gracie, at this point, it could go either way. Callie still has to pass a few classes from last year, so she'll be at summer school with you." I can't help but feel like it's my fault I'm doing so badly in school. "Gracie, it's going to be okay, you're a smart girl and you'll pass if you put your mind to it." She's so sweet to me, and she believes in me. "Now, you get some rest and tomorrow you can really get to work, I'll bring home all your assignments. It'll be fine Gracie."


	28. Chapter 28

It took a lot of hard work and a lot of late nights, but I got caught up in almost all of my classes. I started off with all the classes I find most difficult, that way the work got easier and easier. Taylor and Jude came and helped out with some of my essays and Mariana helped me with my science coursework, she's completely up to date with all her classes, she said helping me was fun for her. I'm pretty exhausted but now that I've finished everything, I get to have the weekend off before I go back to school. Things might actually start to feel normal, I can't help but get my hopes up a little. It helped to think about Rachel, the teddy bear she gave me has been sat in the corner since I got back from the hospital, watching over me. I can't wait until I see her again, or even hear her voice. I know that she hurt Callie, but she wouldn't have done that unless she felt really threatened, I mean, her life's not great either, it's understandable to make a few mistakes. I just wish everyone else would give her a chance.

Callie decided to let Mariana move into Brandon's room because she's the one who always has her boyfriend over and stuff, so she's officially moved in there now. The room feels a lot bigger without my old camp bed taking up the entire bedroom floor.

"How's your stomach?" Callie crashes on her bed after a long day.

"It's good, it's almost completely healed up now, and the pain's gone. I can go back to school on Monday and get back to normal. Plus, we get our phones back tomorrow." The first thing I'm going to do is call Rachel as soon as I can.

"Speaking of normal, have you thought more about what you're gonna do, you know like who you're gonna live with?"

"Yeah actually, I mean I've thought about it, I haven't made a solid decision, though. But I'm definitely leaning more towards staying here."

"Well how about this, we ask Stef and Lena tonight, give them the weekend to think about it, and you can decide on Monday if you want to stay or not?"

"Yeah, yeah that sounds like a good plan." "You're sure?"

"Yeah, I want to be with you guys."

"We want you here too, but there's just one thing. You have to forget about Rachel,"

"Callie, I-"

"No, seriously, it's not worth it, because at this point, Gracie, it's us or her." I take a deep breath, I could never pick. So, my only option is to lie to Callie.

"Okay, yeah it's over."

After dinner, I go up to my room while and anxiously wait for Callie to come and tell me what they say, Brandon came over to be there too. I can't handle not knowing so I decide to go and listen in on their conversation. I stand on the stairs making sure to avoid the creaking step.

"So, you all want her to stay with us?" Stef asks.

"Yeah, we've talked about it for a while now. Plus, she needs a family, and we all work really well together." Jesus says.

"Okay, well then yeah, I guess that's fine, but you kids should know that she could be taken out of this home at any time, you know what the system's like," Lena says, she sounds genuinely upset that that's the case.

"Yeah, we know, so we were hoping that you could maybe consider adopting her?" Jude has a lot of hope in his voice.

"Adoption?" Stef sounds pretty shocked, "I don't know that's a pretty big decision, and Gracie's fifteen now, she probably doesn't even want to be adopted."

"She does, seriously, she wants- no she needs to be safe and loved and we can be that for her," Callie says, "Will you at least consider it?" They're really fighting for me to stay here. There's a pretty long silence. Then the others start begging Stef and Lena.

"Kids!" Stef raises her voice, they all immediately stop talking. "Yes, we'll talk about it and let you know at the end of the weekend." They all rejoice and thank them. "But no pestering us, no begging and don't tell Gracie, we don't want to get her hopes up." It's a little late for that, my hopes are pretty high. The kids all start to come upstairs so I have to hurry back to my room, so they didn't know I was listening, but Callie spots me just as I'm getting back into bed.

"You were listening huh?" She's smiling a lot.

"Yeah, I couldn't help it. It sounds pretty good, though. I just don't what I'm going to say to Sophia if Stef and Lena agree to this."

"So, you would definitely wanna stay here if they say yes?" I thought about a little more and it doesn't make sense to move in with Quinn's, I'd have to move schools and then I'd be even further behind and I'd have to move all my stuff there and it's just an unnecessary hassle. Plus, I like it here, this family means a lot to me.

"Yeah, I guess so, I mean what kind of idiot would turn this down? I just hope Sophia's not too hurt."

"She'll be fine, you know she just wants you to be happy. This is so exciting, I'm really happy for you Gracie." Callie hugs me.

I feel great, the anti-depressants have been working, my stomach is better and everyone around me is happy too. I think staying here will be good for me, I might even get to go to college, that was never an option before, I thought I was going to end up working in a low paying, dead-end job living in a tiny, rat-infested apartment and honestly... I thought I would end up having ended my life by the time I'm twenty-one. I have a future and judging by the way Lena looked when she checked over my school work, it's a promising future.


	29. Chapter 29

The second we all get our phones back, I can't wait to text Rae, I have a text from her, it says 'I wanted to tell you in person, but I can't wait, I love you, Gracie.' I love her too. Callie stops me just as I'm about to shut myself in the bathroom.

"Gracie," She grabs my arm, "I know what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" I try to play it cool.

"It's not worth it, delete her number."

"I don't think I can."

"You can. Think about the future. Give me your phone." She holds out her hand. If I give her the phone, she deletes the number and I can't text Rachel, but she can text me, in fact, she'll probably already have texted me by now, I can get her number back easily, and we know where each other lives.

"Fine." I hand her the phone and watch her delete the number, she continues to delete all my texts with her too.

"It's gonna be okay, you're only fifteen, there'll be other girls, or... guys?"

"Girls, I've definitely figured that one out. Thanks, Callie." She hands me the phone back. "I do miss Jason though, regardless of gender he was really sweet, and I did really like him, I guess I just it just wasn't right."

"Everyone has those little relationships that don't work out, think of it as practice for the real thing." I smile at her, she's experienced in this kind of stuff and I really start to see her as a sister rather than just a friend.

Callie and I both have missed calls from Sophia, so we sit on my bed and call her back together.

"Hey, Sophia! Gracie's here too, we just got our phones back."

"Hey, guys! G, how's your stomach?"

"It's good, it doesn't hurt at all anymore, how are you?"

"I'm good, dad says you two and Jude should come over for dinner tonight and bring your boyfriends too."

"Actually, Jason and I broke up."

"Oh right, sorry Gracie, you're not still seeing that girl, are you?"

"No, no that's over now," I lie, I couldn't bear it if it ended, "But yeah tonight sounds great."

"We'll have to ask our moms, but I'm sure they'll be fine with it, we're not grounded anymore so they'll probably be glad to get us out of the house."

"Awesome, so is six good?"

"That's great, we'll see you later."

Before I know I'm sat down at Sophia's house with her parents, Callie, AJ and Jude. AJ has been chatting to me a lot, he's really sweet and I can see why Callie likes him so much, he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. Sometimes you meet people and they don't really pay attention when you're talking, and they don't care to continue a conversation, but AJ actually asks questions about things I say. I mostly talk about school and stuff and then he starts asking about my hobbies.

"I guess I don't really have any, I really like to read but I only really read books for school, but I don't like those books that much, I don't even own any."

"Really? Well, I've got stacks of books I've never even touched, from when the council gives foster kids Christmas presents out, I'm not big on reading, you can have them if you want?"

"Wow, really?" I hardly ever got Christmas presents, I was one of the kids who was moved around so much they got lost in the mail or sometimes the foster parents would confiscate the gift.

"Yeah man, it's better than letting them collect dust on my bedroom floor."

"That's so sweet of you AJ," Callie says.

"Thanks, AJ." I love how the Adams-Fosters only surround themselves with good people, I wish everyone was like that.

Robert and Jill ask Jude and I about school, because we're the same age as Sophia they seem very interested in how our school works in comparison to her private school, Jude answers most of the questions because I haven't been at Anchor Beach for too long, in fact, I haven't been to any school for too long. Thankfully they don't steer towards my mental health as a conversation which I'm thankful for, I just want it to go away.

For most of the dinner, I'm just thinking about Sophia's offer. I don't want to upset or disappoint her and her parents by not choosing to live with them. Things are getting so much better with the Fosters, I don't want anything ruining my happiness right now.

After dinner and dessert, we all just sit around the table and keep talking when Callie's phone starts buzzing.

"It's Mariana, I better take this, she knows I'm here, she wouldn't be calling unless it was important." She goes off inside to speak to her sister, then Sophia gets a notification on her phone, she normally doesn't check her phone at the dinner table but this time she did. I can tell by her face something's wrong.

"Sophia?" I try to look at her phone, but she gets up and puts it in her pocket.

"It's nothing, I'll be right back." She rushes off inside after Callie.

"Sophia, come back," Her mom says, "It's rude to leave the table so abruptly!" Ignoring what Jill said, I get up and follow the two of them inside, I can hear them talking in the kitchen.

"Where did it come from?" Sophia says, "It has to be someone at your house, how else would they get the camera in there? And why Gracie?"

"What camera?" I ask. They both turn to me, they look worried.

"Gracie, it's nothing go back outside." Callie tries to get me out of the room, but they're talking about me, I have to know.

"No! Sophia, show me the phone." I try to grab it.

"Okay, fine, but don't freak out." I take her phone.

"I'm not gonna freak-" I look down at the screen and see a video of me asleep in bed, it's from when I was crying at the start of the week, "What the hell is this?" I swipe to another video, I was alone in my room and I was going back and forth between whether or not to hurt myself again, my school work was getting to me, but I didn't do it. And I didn't talk about it because I overcame it myself.

"There are others, some of you studying and talking to the Fosters," Sophia says, "There are hours of footage. It's all over the internet."

"The whole school has seen them." Callie comes to my side. I keep scrolling through them, there's some of me naked.

"This one," I point to the video of me with the razor blade I stole from Brandon, "This one has more views than the others," I scroll down to look at the comments, I recognize a lot of the names, they're kids from school, my heart drops, "They all wanted me to do it."

"I'm so sorry." Sophia hugs me.

"Let's go home." I give Sophia her phone and walk straight out the front door to Callie's car, I can't face saying goodbye to the Quinn's. I can't face anything. Someone set up a camera in my room and I have to find out who did it.

I know it wasn't Jude, he's not capable of something this cruel, it wasn't Callie, it wasn't Mariana, that's their room too, and they're in some of the videos. I want so desperately to keep watching them, so I can find when they started, then maybe I could figure it out. My phone has no signal, though. The second we pull up to the house I run inside to Jesus' room.

"Was it you?" I yell at him, he's in his room with Emma and they're looking at one of the videos, I look at his laptop, this video is from the hospital, somehow, they had a camera watching me there too.

"No, I swear, Gracie I would never do this. I'm gonna kick someone's ass when I find out who it was." He tries to hug me, but I push him away and go to my room, I go to the shelves where the camera looked like it would be shooting from, I tear through everything trying to find the camera but there's nothing. Then my phone beeps, I'm getting all these notifications. People are tagging me in tweets with a link, for a live video. I click on the link and see myself looking down at my phone. The title says 'WATCH CRAZY GRACIE HAVE A LIVE BREAKDOWN' there are over 500 people watching, I suddenly realize where the camera is. Callie, Mariana, Jude, Jesus, Emma and AJ all come into my room. In front of the bookshelf, I just destroyed is a white wicker chair, where the bear that Rachel bought me sits. I fill with rage and tears start streaming down my face as I begin to scream, I grab the bear and start tearing it apart with my hands. I find the tiny camera behind the eye and a tiny microphone in the plastic nose.

"How could she do this to me!?" I shout, I throw the camera on the floor and crush it with my foot. I break down in tears on the floor, Callie comes to my side, but I just can't focus on anything other than the pain in my heart. I thought she was special, but she's been spying on me and sharing it with the world. My heart is broken.


	30. Chapter 30

"She can't get away with this!" Stef yells at the Janice, the lawyer.

"Yesterday, she was taken into custody by the police for what she did to your oldest daughter, she'll be going to Juvenile Detention, she has a great lawyer. He convinced the judge that her sentence for that is punishment enough."

"No, she needs to be sentenced for longer, she broke a million laws, privacy, deceit, the list goes on. A six-month sentence is not long enough!" She's almost crying. I, however, am all out of tears. Lena manages to calm Stef down and gets her to sit back down.

"As of right now, all I can do is get her more community service and give her a restraining order."

"I want to talk to her," I speak up, I've barely spoken to anyone over the past two days.

"That can be arranged," Janice says.

"No, it can't, Gracie, you can't talk to her, she's only going to hurt you." Stef squeezes Lena's hand.

"I need to know why, if you expect me to get through this you need to let me understand it," I say with a poker face.

"She's a bad person, that's why Gr-"

"Stef!" Lena stops her, "Gracie, if that's really what you want then you can see her, for 10 minutes with supervision but after that, it's done. You're not to talk to her or anyone to do with her again. Do you understand?" I've never seen Lena this stern.

"Yes," I say. Stef sits back in her chair, she's shaken by this whole thing.

"In that case, you can see her today, before it's determined what facility she's taken to."

"Can you take me now, Lena?" She nods her head.

Soon enough we're in the car on the way to the police station. Lena made Stef stay at home with the other kids, she said being at the station might be too much for her right now. I thought it would take ages for us to get in to see her, but I'm in there with a few minutes. Lena comes into the small room with me.

There's a metal table bolted to the floor and four chairs around it. We're escorted in by an officer, he goes out of the opposite door and moments later returns with Rachel. He's holding her by her arm. She looks awful.

"Gracie!" She tries to run to me, but the officer pulls her back.

"No contact." He makes her sit down and cuffs her to the table. I hold Lena's hand under the table.

"Why did you do that to me?" I say with a lump in my throat.

"I was protecting you!" She's not quite shouting, but she's talking loud and erratically, she's shaking too, "You talked about Jason, I knew he was bad for you. I wanted to make sure no one would hurt you like he did."

"What are you talking about? He didn't hurt me. You did. Why did you post those videos? The whole world saw what I almost did to myself, and they encouraged it."

"I thought it would make you see that there are more important things in the world, like us, we're meant to be together!" She's crying, but she's smiling weirdly, like a crazy person. That's what she is.

"You told me you loved me, you made me fall in love with you,

"I do love you!"

"Oh please, you're just as sick and twisted as he is." I stand up.

"Who?" She tries to stand up too, but the officer pushes her back down.

"Your dad." I kick my chair back and leave the room, my eyes fill up with tears.

The second we're out in the hall again I flop into Lena's arms.

"I really thought she loved me, Lena, I'm sorry, I should never have gotten involved with her." She strokes my hair.

"It's okay sweetie, we all make mistakes. It's over now, you don't have to see her or talk to her, you can work on yourself now." She takes me back home and lets me lie down for a few hours, I spent most of last night in Jesus and Jude's room with all the others, Brandon spent the night too, they sat with me while I cried, I didn't get any sleep. They comforted me, got me water when I was breathless, they were amazing. I long for the day when I can repay them for their kindness. We all slept or tried to sleep, on the floor in his room, so when I got home, they were all tidying up after themselves. They all hugged me when I got home too.

"How was it? Mom told us you went to see her." Brandon says.

"It was weird, but it's done now. She's out of my life for good."

"We're just going to try and get back to normal now, right Gracie?" Lena says.

"Right, I don't need more drama."

"The videos have all been deleted now, and your accounts have been deleted too. Emma helped me." Mariana says.

"Thank you. I don't ever want to see them again." I give her another hug and get into my bed.

I managed to fall asleep but a few hours later I was woken up by Jude telling me they need me downstairs for dinner, they're all sat at the dining room table, we never eat in here, Callie told me it was only for special occasions or when they have guests, I guess they just had a lot of food or something.

"What's going on?" I rub my eyes, I'm still half asleep. I sit down at the table and start eating. Stef and Lena stand up, Stef's smiling now, she seems a lot happier than she was this morning. I look around me, everyone's smiling... at me.

"Gracie, despite the ups and downs, we've loved having you here and we've all grown close over the past few weeks," Lena says.

"So, we wanted to say, if it's okay with you, we'd really like to adopt you." Stef smiles at me. I had forgotten about the adoption thing completely, this must be another dream, like the one I had before, just more real, right?

"You've become a daughter to us," Lena says, she comes to my side and puts her arm around me. This is real.

"You're serious?" I have to take a step back and process this, I had my hopes up, but I didn't actually think they'd want to keep me.

"Of course!" Mariana says, "You're our sister, Gracie."

"So?" Brandon says, "What do you say?"

"Uh, yes! Oh my God, yes, of course!" I hug Stef and Lena and hug them both, I start to cry, and all the others tear up. "I love you guys so much!" They all stand up and join the group hug "We love you too, Gracie," Jesus says. They're all so amazing, and they're really going to be my real family.


	31. Chapter 31

Today's the day I go back to school, Lena offered to let me off one more day off after the events of the weekend, but I can't afford to fall behind more. I walk to lunch with Jude and Taylor.

"How come no one's saying anything?" I see a lot of the kids who were saying horrible things online, but they don't say anything to my face, I just received a few weird looks. We sit down at a bench.

"They hide behind their usernames. They would never say stuff to you in person, they're afraid of getting in trouble." Jude says.

"Cowards."

"Exactly."

I haven't seen Jason today either, I wonder if he's avoiding me. I take my mind off of the bad stuff by changing the subject.

"Do you think Lena's going to make me take an extra credit sport?"

"Well she didn't push me too hard on mine, I tried out for swimming and tennis and I didn't make the cut, I don't think she cared too much, I can get extra credit in English anyway."

"You can?" I love English, I wouldn't mind doing more work if it meant I could avoid repeating 9th Grade.

"Yeah, I write book reports for Timothy every week, sometimes two, that's why I'm always reading."

"So, he just gives you books, and you read it, then write about it, then hand it in?"

"Pretty much, actually he got the idea from the book he gave me last week, 'Perks of Being a Wallflower'. Ask him if you can do it too."

The rest of the day was pretty good, I knew what was going on in all my classes, and no one was mean to me. Timothy told me to meet him at the end of the day to discuss extra credit. The others are waiting in the parking lot for me.

"So, Jude told me he was doing book reports for extra credit, and I really need it right now, I already have to do summer school and if I don't get all the credit I need I might have to repeat 9th Grade."

"I really want to say you can do it, but I've spoken to your Chem teacher, Jerome, and he said your current grade is not where it needs to be, we need to make sure you get your grade up before you can do anything extra, otherwise you'll have too much work to do at home."

"Oh, right," I was expecting him to say it was completely fine to do the reports, "So, as long as I get up to par with the rest of my chem class, I can do the extra credit?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but I still think maybe it might be too much work for you."

"No, honestly it's not, I love reading. And writing actually, this is my favourite class and if I go to more work it would be amazing, I think this is what I want to do when I'm older, what you do."

"Okay, then here's the deal, if Jerome tells me that your work is improving by the end of the week, I'll give you a book, and if in a few weeks, you get up to date and you're on the same level as the rest of your class, then you can do it weekly. Sound good?"

"Yeah, thank you, Timothy, I won't let you down." I start to leave.

"Gracie, don't let yourself down." He smiles at me.

At dinner, I tell Lena and she's pretty happy with my initiative, even though it was kind of Jude's idea.

"And I've been studying chemistry since the second I got home, I know I can do this if I really put my mind to it."

"I'm so proud of you Gracie, even with everything you've been through you still have the courage and the drive to succeed, it's very admirable," Stef says as she serves us all.

"Thanks. If I didn't have you guys, I probably wouldn't even be going to school, your support means a lot."

"Speaking of family, what's going on with the adoption?" Callie asks her moms.

"Well, we started on the papers at the beginning of the weekend and-"

"Beginning of the weekend? But you hadn't even asked me then?" I say.

"Yeah, but we just got carried away with it," I smile at my moms-to-be, "And we met with your social worker today and it looks like we can get this done pretty soon, the judge is a good friend of hers, so she was able to get us a date at the end of the week," Stef says excitedly.

"Seems like she really wants to be rid of me," I laugh, "So if all goes well, I could be a permanent member of the family by next week?"

"Yep!" Lena kisses my head.

"This is so exciting! This family just keeps growing, I love it." Mariana says.

"None of you can be as excited as me, I can finally feel... I don't know, secure. I guess."

As the week goes on, I knuckle down and get to work with my chemistry assignments. It's always been one of my weak points, well science as a whole is a weak point. But Jude helps me get up to speed and I use some of Mariana's techniques to help me remember stuff. We have a test on Friday so if I get at least a C+ then that will be improved enough to start doing extra credit.

"You're not pushing yourself too hard, are you?" Lena comes into mine and Callie's room one evening.

"No, I'm fine, I'm actually enjoying myself, I've never been able to really put my mind to something like this before."

"I'm glad to hear, anyway, you skipped your counselling session this week, any particular reason for that?" She perched on the edge of my bed. I was trying to keep it a secret, I honestly haven't felt like I needed to go.

"Oh, right, that. Um, I didn't want to go, I was burying myself in my work and I just wanted to get everything done." Callie's sat on her bed, trying not to pay attention but I know she can't help it.

"Well it is one of the terms of your release from the hospital, and the judge also recommended it, twice."

"I know, I'm sorry, I won't skip it again." I'm not lying, I will go next Thursday. The first session was helpful, it was a place to talk about my feelings without fear of being judged or laughed at. Not that the Adams-Fosters or Sophia would laugh at me, but it's always in the back of my mind that people sometimes aren't what they seem. That point has been proven by Rachel.

"Good, don't stay up too late girls." Lena kisses us both goodnight, "Don't forget we're going to court tomorrow, dress nice." She switched the main light off leaving us in the light of our small bedside lamps. We put our school work away and climb into bed, turning the lamps off.

"Are you nervous?" Callie says.

"I don't know, were you?" I haven't thought about the adoption all week. I guess I'm just a little scared it's not going to work out. Wow, maybe I should have gone to counselling this week.

"Yeah, but I mean, the first time Jude and I went for the adoption, it fell through, but you know all about that." It took her ages to get adopted because Robert wouldn't sign the release papers. I'm just glad that won't happen to me, both my parents are dead. "But yeah, I was nervous the second time too, it took me a while to accept that the Fosters actually wanted me, I thought maybe they just pitied me."

"But you're okay now, you've accepted it?"

"Yeah, have you?"


	32. Chapter 32

Mariana helps me pick out an outfit for today. When I woke up, I was struck with a wave of nerves, I didn't let myself get nervous and now it's hit me out of nowhere. It doesn't happen this quickly, usually, it takes weeks to get officially adopted, but this was sped up. I'm glad it was though, otherwise, I might have been taken away for no reason again. I tried to study more this morning, but I was too nervous, in a way I kind of want it to be over with. I just want to start being normal, with my family.

"What about this?" Mariana holds up a dress while Lena and I sit on my bed and look through some of my paperwork, we have to bring a few documents to prove identity and everything.

"A dress? Really?"

"You have to look the part," Jude strides in, "I had to wear a suit."

"Why? Aren't I just supposed to look normal."

"The judge has to see that you're being treated well and that your happy and confident in us," Lena says.

"But I am, shouldn't my word be enough?"

"You'd think that but no," Lena looks disappointed.

"Everything revolves around how things look these days," Callie says as she sits down next to Jude, I look to Lena.

"Is that true?" She nods. "The world is a weird place, why can't everyone trust each other? Why can't things just be as they seem?" No one says anything, I guess they were rhetorical questions. "So, what shoes do I wear with that dress?"

We sit waiting for a few hours in the hall, the judge only offered to squeeze us in, so a long wait was expected. Everyone came to support me, AJ's sat with Callie, Emma with Jesus, Mat with Mariana and Courtney even brought her son Mason. The Quinn's are here in their Sunday best, I'm pretty sure all they're clothes are their best, though. Taylor is sat next to Jude who is at my side. He can see my hand shaking so he grabs it to steady me.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," I smile at him, and as I turn my head back, I see a familiar face in the doorway, "Isn't that Jason?" I get up and head over to him. He's wearing a suit.

"Hi, I've been standing outside for an hour, did I miss it?" He's not avoiding eye contact; not like I'm trying to.

"No."

"I wanted to be here, to like... support you." I can't help but smile.

"I'm sorry, again, for what I did. I never meant to hurt you."

"Gracie?" Stef comes over with Janice, "Can you come with us for a second?" She tugs me away from Jason before I get to say anything. Seeing Jason kind of made the nerves go away, now all I am is excited.

"Is the judge ready for us? Is this happening?" I ask Stef as we walk, I look straight ahead and see Lena arguing with someone, something's wrong. "Is Lena okay?" Stef ignores me until we're stood with Lena and the man in the suit that she was shouting at.

"Why hasn't this woman been searched for?" Lena yells.

"Who?"

"Gracie, I'm James Peterson, I work closely with the judge on his cases," The man holds out his hand to shake mine, but I don't do anything, "My job is basically to look through the cases with a fine comb and I have found some discrepancies in your paperwork."

"What does that mean?" I turn to Stef, James Peterson is just beating around the bush, "Just tell me what's wrong."

"There's a signature on your birth certificate where your mother's name should be,"

"But she died, she never got to sign anything?"

"That's the problem," James says, "We can't allow you to be adopted before your mother signs away the rights."

"You're saying my mother's alive?" My hands start shaking, Jason comes up behind me and takes my hand with both of his.

"I'm here, it's okay." He whispers.

"Well we don't know, but we'll find out and whatever decision you make, we'll support you." Stef and Lena are trying really hard to keep me from freaking out, but honestly, Jason is the one keeping me sane right now.

"There's no decision to make, I want to be adopted it, now." I start to cry.

"We can't make it happen right now, but we will, okay? It's gonna be okay sweetie." Lena hugs me, she's crying too.

"I'm so sorry we wasted your time," James says, then he simply walks away, as if he hasn't ruined my life. No, no it's not his fault, he's just a middleman.

"So, your dad always told you, since you were little, that your mom died in labour?" Jason asks. He came home with us and now we're sat in my room.

"Yeah, he said her name was Maria too, and that's my middle name, but the name on my birth certificate says 'Cordelia Joan'."

"Have you ever heard that name before?"

"I don't know, I mean it sounds a little bit familiar but just the name, I couldn't put a face to it or anything."

Sophia walks in, she and her parents came back with us too. "Hey, how're you doing?" She sits next to me.

"I'm fine, just confused."

"Have you googled her?" She asks, I honestly don't know why we thought of that before. I pull out the laptop Sophia gave me from under my bed. I search 'Cordelia Joan'.

"There are over a hundred thousand results."

"There's Cordelia Joan in Delaware," Jason clicks on one of the links, "Oh, she's black, I don't think that's her."

"This is gonna take hours, there's got to be a quicker way to do this."

"What about your dad?" Sophia takes my laptop.

"There might be some kind of record of him somewhere on here, then we can find your mom, Edward Cooper, right?" Within minutes Sophia is on an ancestry website making an account for me.

"Don't you have to pay for those?"

"It's fine," She pulls out her credit card, "I got this." Jason holds my hand while we sit patiently waiting for Sophia to find something. "Here, Edward Cooper, son of Emilia and Daniel Cooper." She passes it to me, there's a full family tree of my dad's family, then a branch leading off of his picture saying Maria Cooper, with a picture of my mom, or the woman I thought was my mom. I barely recognise her, I haven't seen her picture in years.

"Cordelia," Jason points to a picture beneath Maria's face. "Cordelia Joan, her daughter."

"So, Maria and Edward are my grandparents? I don't get it."

"It says she's thirty years old and living in Tijuana."

"Really? Wow, that was fast." I didn't want to have to face this, no matter how much I want to be adopted.

"Gracie, dinner's ready," Stef comes in, "Oh, I didn't realise you were still here," She says to Jason, "Do you need a ride home?"

"Oh, no thank you Mrs Adams-Foster, my car's out front" He gets up, "I'll see you on Monday Gracie." He smiles at me and leaves, I was half expecting him to kiss me, but it would have been awkward if he had. I guess we're friends now, maybe that's what we were meant to be from the start.


	33. Chapter 33

"You just got your licence, right?" I follow Jesus up to his room after dinner, I shut the door behind us.

"Yeah, why?" He sits at his desk ready to facetime Emma like he does every night.

"Jason and Sophia helped me find my mom, she's in Tijuana, I need you to drive me." He looks pretty shocked.

"To Tijuana? Why do you want to see her anyway? Get someone else to find her and sign the papers."

"No, I want to see her and ask her why she didn't want me. Jesus, I really need your help."

"So, ask moms." He puts his headphones in, but I yank them out.

"You know they wouldn't let me, neither would Callie or any of the others. It's only a half-hour drive." I beg him.

"Do you even know where she lives?"

"I have an address, I found one of her old school friends online and she gave it to me."

"Okay well, how do you know she'll even be in?"

"Her friend told me she works from home, it won't take that long. Come on, I just need to sit down with her for like ten minutes and get her to sign the papers and leave, please Jesus."

"Well, you've clearly thought of everything. I'll take you tomorrow,"

"Yay! Thank you!" I hug him.

"But what do we tell moms?"

"I'll just tell them we're going to the mall or something, thanks again, Jesus. Don't tell the others, though."

After breakfast the next day, I stole the release forms from Lena's desk and told them Jesus was 'dragging' me to the mall with him because he wanted a girl's opinion. They seem pretty pleased that we're spending quality time together. The journey went by really quickly, I guess I am a tiny bit excited, mainly because I can finally see the person I came from and see if we're alike.

The neighbourhood doesn't seem so nice, it's nothing like where I live with the Fosters. We pull up outside an old beaten down apartment block.

"You want me to come in?" He asks, I just nod my head, suddenly I'm terrified, "It'll be okay, she made you, she can't be anything like this neighbourhood. Come on." We get out of the car, she lives on the first floor, apartment three. Jesus knocks on the door for me. Almost instantly it swings open, there's a fat man with stains all over his white vest standing in front of us.

"Oh, hi, um does Cordelia Joan live here?"

"You mean Dee?" He says with a mouth full of hoagie, "She doesn't live here anymore," He starts to slam the door but I stop it with my foot.

"Well, where does she live?" I yell at him.

"Gracie calm down." Jesus tries to drag me away.

"She's locked up, prostitution and drugs." He slams the door again and this time I let him.

"Gracie," Jesus tries to comfort me.

"Whatever, we shouldn't have come anyway. I have to get back and study."

I didn't talk to Jesus the whole way home, he talked to me though, he told me that it's not my fault she ended up that way. At first, I thought it was, but really it was her parents, my grandparents. They must have done something to drive her into that lifestyle. I've been debating whether or not I should visit her, I wouldn't have to tell Stef or Lena, but I can't steal the forms again, it's too risky. Do I really want to see her? She gave me up to be a whore and do drugs on the streets. I don't want anything to do with someone like that, I've had enough crap in my life. I feel like that's all I or anyone ever says about me, I've been through a lot. That's the typical way to describe me.

I've been studying and trying to keep my head down all week now, I did my test yesterday and I think I did pretty good, we'll get our grade on Monday. I really hope I've passed, because then I'll be at the same level as my class and I can get extra credit. I'll be an ideal student, like Mariana. Taylor is over our house to help me out, Jude's with Noah and he has been a lot lately, so he doesn't get a chance to tutor me much anymore. While we're studying, we start to hear Stef and Lena talking out in the hall, they're talking about Cordelia, they've found out she's in prison. They'd been talking about tracking her down, looks like they finally did it. They don't come in to tell me though, probably because Taylor's here. She can see that it's bummed me out.

"Don't worry about that, just focus on yourself, you're more important than she is." She smiles at me, she and I have been becoming closer and closer lately, it's nice having a girl my age around the house.

"Thanks, Taylor."

I see her out and the second I close the front door, Stef and Lena call me into the kitchen. I have to pretend I didn't know about her being in prison. I walk into the kitchen ready to lie, but Jesus is sat at the table with them too.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"Sorry Gracie, they got it out of me." He says.

"You can go now Jesus," Stef dismisses him, "Sit down, Gracie."

"So, you know about Tijuana, I'm sorry I was desperate. Am I grounded?"

"No, you're not grounded," Lena says, "But you and Jesus are on trash and dish duty all week."

"That's fair."

"So, obviously you know your birth mom is in prison, and Jesus told us you definitely still want us to adopt you," I nod, "Janice contacted Cordelia's officer to try and get her to sign the papers and she won't do it unless she sees you, she wants to hear it from you."

"I have to see her if I want you guys to adopt me?"

"We can keep trying to get her to sign them without you being involved, but it's going to drag the process out even longer, and Janice has managed to get us a private slot with the judge on Tuesday, and if we don't take it, we'll have to wait another couple of months." Stef takes my hand to comfort me. I take a breath.

"Okay, I'll see her."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I just want to be adopted." I smile at them.

The nerves build up again, I have to see her tomorrow. My mom the drug addicted whore.


	34. Chapter 34

I passed my chemistry test! Jerome came to me before homeroom to let me know, he said he was really proud of how far I've come in the short time I've been at Anchor Beach. I got a B-, which is way higher than I was expecting. Taylor came to me at my locker while I was texting Stef and Lena to let them know.

"Someone looks happy." She smiles at me.

"I got a B-, and it's all down to you!" I hug her.

"That's amazing, hang on," She goes through her backpack and pulls out a party popper, she pops making the streamers go all over my hair, "I knew you'd pass."

"You're so cute, thank you so much for helping me Taylor, I honestly couldn't have done it without you." "Don't be dumb, you worked really hard, it was nothing to do with me."

"Well thanks anyway," We walk to homeroom together, "This means I get to do my first book report for Timothy. I actually feel like a real person for a change," We laugh, "Is it weird that I'm this excited about extra credit?"

"A little, but it's cute."

We sit down next to Jude in homeroom, I tell him the good news and he congratulates me, but he seems kind of off. I have to wait til lunch to ask him what's going on because Timothy is talking about something. At the end of homeroom, he gives Jude and I book to write about, it's called 'Ender's Game'. Jude's seen the movie version, so he has a slight advantage, or maybe it's a disadvantage.

After math, I try to track down Jude and just as I see him walking out of the cafeteria, Jason stops me.

"Oh, hey, how are you?" I ask him, trying to keep my eye on Jude but he disappears.

"I'm good, how about you? How's it going with the adoption papers?" I sit down with him.

"Uh, yeah pretty good, well I have to see my birth mom, so she'll sign the papers, but it'll only be like ten minutes and then I never have to see her again so, you know, silver linings."

"Yeah, so you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great actually, school's good, home's good, and if tonight goes well I'll be getting adopted tomorrow."

"You're seeing her tonight?" I nod.

"But I'll be fine, I just can't wait to officially be Gracie Adams-Fosters." I'd never actually said that out loud before, it sounds right.

"It suits you, I'm really happy for you." He puts his hand on mine.

"Thanks, Jason, it means a lot."

"I have to tell you someth-" I spot Jude again.

"Sorry, can it wait until later? I have to talk to Jude." I get up and follow Jude, I stop him outside, "Hey, is everything okay? You were acting weird this morning."

"I'm fine, just tired."

"Is it Noah?"

"No, Gracie I'm fine." He seems kind of mad at me.

"Jude?"

"Sorry, I've gotta go." He walks off on his own. Did I do something to upset him?

Stef picks Lena and I up from school and drives us to the prison where Cordelia is being held, the other's took Lena's car home. They're trying to make sure I stay calm and don't freak out, but I'm not nervous at all. There's nothing she can say or do that can ruin my life right now, I know she'll sign those papers. "Wow, I'd recognise you anywhere." I walk in and sit down opposite Cordelia, I look like her, we have the same slightly olive skin tone, I'm slightly paler though, but our hair and eyes are the same too. She looks worn out, but that only makes me think I look more like her.

"Hi. I'm Stef, one of Gracie's foster moms." Stef insisted on coming in with me.

"So, you've been taking care of my baby girl, thank you."

"Why didn't you want me?" I cut to the chase.

"Oh Gracie, I did, I wanted you more than anything. I was just a kid when I had you. My parents were overbearing, they wanted me to give you up for adoption," I wonder if she had given me up for adoption my life would have been any better than it had been so far, "We compromised, and I let them raise you as their own."

"How did mo- Maria die? Edward told me she died giving birth to me but that obviously wasn't true."

"He told you that?" She looks genuinely shocked, "She had cancer, for most of my childhood actually, she died when I was seventeen."

"You still left me though, you could have stayed and helped out with me. Maybe he wouldn't have killed himself."

"He kicked me out, I got pregnant again and he couldn't handle it, so I moved to Tijuana to stay with a friend and I miscarried." She looks like she might cry.

"What about my dad? My real dad."

"He's in prison too, for-" She starts crying, "I'm sorry, he uh, he raped me and that's how I got pregnant with you." I contemplate telling her that a similar thing happened to me, but I don't want to feel close to her. She's had a rough life, I guess we also have that in common.

"So, Edward became my legal guardian, why didn't Maria?"

"She never wanted to sign the certificate, I always thought that maybe it was because one day she wanted to give you back to me, but my dad told me after she died it was because she didn't want to be responsible for you if you..."

"If I turned out like you?" She nods, "Maybe you should just sign the papers." I take the forms from Stef and slide them across the table to her.

"Before I do, I have to ask, is there any chance of us having a life together?"

"I don't think so, I'm happy in my situation and I don't want anything to change unless it's for the better." She nods to me, I can see Stef smiling at me out of the corner of my eye.

"I understand," She signs page after page until she's done, "I'm really happy for you Gracie."

"Thank you."


	35. Chapter 35

I wake up hours before everyone else, I'm anxious and excited at the same time. Today is the day I didn't even know I was dreaming of, I never thought something like this would happen for me. I shower and get dressed in the pretty yellow dress that Mariana picked out for me the last time I was supposed to get adopted. I decide since I'm up so early that I should make breakfast for everyone, especially because we have a private session with the judge and only Stef and Lena will be able to be there for the actual adoption, it'll be nice to show them all how much they mean to me.

I'm not much of a cook, but I know how to make eggs and bacon and stuff like that, I have to remember that Jude only likes scrambled eggs, Jesus likes them well done and Mariana doesn't eat meat. It doesn't take nearly as long as I thought it would and I managed to have everything done at the same time. I can vaguely hear Mariana's alarm for school go off upstairs, in a few minutes everyone is coming downstairs. Stef and Lena are fully awake and dressed, usually, they make breakfast for us, so they're pretty shocked when they see everything.

"Gracie, did you do this?" Stef sits down.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you again, for everything you've all done for me." I serve everyone. Jesus hasn't even noticed, he's still half asleep.

"We're a family, that's what we're here for, stupid." Mariana hugs me.

"I wanted to make sure you knew how grateful I am." I join them for breakfast.

"So, today's the big day, you excited?" Lena says.

"I can't wait, in just a few hours I'll have a real family."

"You had us all along, today just makes it official," Callie says.

Jude's still acting a little off with me, I guess he's just stressed with school work, I just wish he could talk to me about stuff the same way I can with him.

Brandon comes to give the others a ride to school, they all wish me luck, most of them hug me but Jude just gives me a weird pat on the back thing. Just as I'm about to get into Stef's car with her and Lena, I hear footsteps running up behind me, I hear Jason call my name.

"Hey, Jason I can't talk right now, I'm about to go get adopted,"

"Before you go," He takes my hand to stop me getting in the car, "I have to tell you something, I tried to tell you yesterday but you were-"

"Preoccupied, yeah I'm sorry, go ahead tell me."

"Okay," He pulls me away from the car for a second, he takes both my hands.

"Jason, we've talked, we're cool now right? If this is you trying to get back with me-"

"It's not, I just have, to be honest with you, I'm leaving, today."

"What do you mean?" He can't leave, we were becoming good friends. I was getting him back, even if it wasn't in the same way I first had him.

"My dad got a job overseas. We leave in an hour."

"Oh," I don't really know how I feel, how do I react to this? "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too. I just want to say even though it didn't work out with us, and it wasn't meant to be, you still made me a better person and I can never repay for that." A small tear runs down my cheek, he changed me too.

"You gave me confidence, and forgiveness and friendship. That's more than enough." I hug him.

"Here, keep this," He hands me the necklace he gave me for my birthday, "Think of it as a going away present."

"Aren't I supposed to give you a gift?"

"The gift is taking it, it would mean a lot to me." He turns me around and fastens it around my neck.

"Thank you. Let's not make this goodbye, let's make it a... see you around."

"Okay, see you around, Gracie." He kisses me on the cheek and walks off down the street, he takes a second to look back at me before getting into his car.

"You alright?" Lena asks, turning back to me as I get into the back seat.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I wiped away my tears and embraced the excitement, "Let's do this!"

A couple of hours later, I'm stood in the judge's office while Stef and Lena sign away on a stack of papers They can't stop smiling, neither can I.

"Okay, last signatures on the dotted line here," The judge hands them one final sheet of paper, "Then you'll officially be adopted, Gracie." He smiles too. Stef and Lena both take my hands as they sign the final form, "Congratulations, it's official." My smiling turns into tears of joy. Stef and Lena embrace me in their arms I finally feel like I'm going to be safe forever, nothing can tear me away from them now.

They take me out for lunch at their favourite cafe and buy me an ice cream sundae.

"Thanks, moms," I smile like a giddy idiot, "God it feels so good to say that." I laugh.

"It feels great hearing it, love." Stef squeezes me.

"It's so good to see you so happy," Lena says, "I only wish you'd come to us sooner. You don't deserve any of the things you've been through." I appreciate Lena's sentiment, but I don't want to talk about that right now, I don't want my past to define me anymore.

We meet the others back at home and they've decorated the kitchen with balloons and streamers, and there's a cake on the kitchen table. They all jump out and surprise me. I start crying again. Mariana's crying too, but she cries at puppies so it's not surprising. Even Jude's smiling. Callie takes me over to the cake on the table, it says 'Surprise! You're Adopted!' I crack up laughing when I read it.

"It was my idea," Jesus says, "Well I saw it on Twitter, but it was my idea to put it on the cake."

"I love it, thank you guys so much." They form a group hug around me. They take me outside where they've set up another party, kind of like the one they threw for my birthday, all of their boyfriends and girlfriends are, here again, Sophia's here with her parents too, and Taylor's here. And in the corner sitting at the table are some people I've never met before.

"Gracie, this is my mother Sharon and Lena's parents Dana and Stewart."

"They're your grandparents now." Lena pulls a chair out for me to sit down with them.

"Oh wow, it's so great to finally meet you all." I extend my hand to shake Dana's, but she gently slaps it aside.

"Nonsense, no grandchild of mine is getting a handshake!" She pulls me in for a hug and kisses my cheeks, Sharon and Stewart do the same and they all begin talking to me, they mostly tell me about themselves and Stef and Lena. I love them all already, Sharon is hilarious, Dana is so real, and Stewart is really smart, it's cool to see where Stef and Lena get their traits. I love this whole family so so much.


	36. Chapter 36

The past week has been great, it's the last week of school before Callie and I start summer school and I'm actually kind of excited. Timothy spoke to my chemistry teacher and I've improved as much as I need to be able to do the book reports every week, I did the one on Ender's Game and I got an A-, Timothy thinks I can get an A+ next time if I put my mind to it. He understands that I've been a bit distracted by the adoption lately. But with the distraction an A- is amazing.

As I sit down after a long day of school, Sophia calls me.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask, flopping back on my bed.

"I just wanted to remind you about the vacation, have you asked if you can come?" I realise that I didn't even tell Sophia I wasn't going to be adopted by her parents, I just went ahead and did it, I feel kind of bad. But she doesn't seem mad.

"Oh right, the vacation," I had completely forgotten Sophia had invited me away with her family over summer, "Well I have summer school for at least a month but probably more, and I haven't even asked Stef and Lena yet."

"Well ask, we have the villa for the whole summer, but we need to book flights, Callie's coming in mid-July for a week with me and mom, so you could come then, or you could come with us when we go in August."

"Callie's going to Spain for a week? Is your dad paying?" I know Stef and Lena wouldn't pay, not that they wouldn't want to, but they wouldn't be able to afford it. Mariana told me the only vacations they've been on as a family since Callie and Jude arrived were weekend camping trips, a real abroad vacation was always too expensive.

"Yeah, it's part of Callie's birthday present."

"Well yeah, I mean I'll ask."

"Great, let me know later what they say." She hangs up before I get to say goodbye.

Of course, I want to go away with Sophia, but before I wanted to go so that I could get away from the foster system for a while, I'm not in the system anymore and I don't really want to not be in my home, I'm only now getting used to it. Would Sophia be mad if I turned it down? I don't want to think about this right now, I want to work on my extra credit and my chemistry homework, the more work I do the less time I'll be in summer school for and then I could go with Sophia. Oh, I guess I'm thinking about it anyway.

"Hey," I look up and see Taylor walking into my room, "You ready to study?" She sits on my bed opposite me and starts emptying her backpack. I remember we had arranged to do our math homework together, she was supposed to do it with Jude, but he's been off with her too.

"Hey, yeah, uh but before we do, has Jude spoken to you today?" I hate that he's still acting weird around me, and now Taylor too.

"No, he's barely said two words to me all week, you?"

"Just 'pass the orange juice' every now and then. Do you think something's wrong?"

"Why don't you ask me?" We both jump, he's stood in the doorway, "Instead of talking behind my back." Then he just walks away, we hear his bedroom door slam.

"I'll follow him." Tay starts to get up.

"No don't, Noah's here, it's probably best not to interrupt. I thought it was something I did, but he's obviously mad at both of us."

"I think he's just mad at something else and taking it out on us."

"You've always been smarter than me," I smile at her, "Anyway, let's get some work done."

When we're done, Taylor invites me to sleep over her house on tomorrow night, I've never had a sleepover that wasn't in a foster home by no choice. So, of course, I say yes, I'm sure Stef and Lena will be fine with it.

"No," Stef says firmly.

"Wait, what?"

"Gracie, you know you're gay, we can't allow you to have a sleepover with another girl." Lena takes a calmer approach.

"But Taylor's straight?"

"Has she ever told you that?"

"Well no but even if she wasn't, I'm not into her that way, we're friends, good friends, you let Mariana have Emma stay over and Jesus is literally one door away, why is this any different?" It feels weird arguing with Stef and Lena, I don't want them to regret adopting me, but I don't want to miss out on doing normal stuff with my friend either.

"No means no. Now, go clean-up for dinner." Stef dismisses me. I walk out in a huff. I see Jude standing on the stairs, he was listening in. He's giving me a really weird look like he's giving me evils.

"Is that what this is about?" I ask him, "You think there's something going on between me and Taylor?"

"You haven't hidden it very well." He walks back upstairs to his room, I follow him. He's being such a jerk.

"There's nothing to hide! Taylor and I are just friends, and we're friends because of you, you idiot."

"Oh, come on Gracie, it's obvious you like her, you're with her all the time and you hang off her every word."

"I do not, and I'm with her so much because you're always with your boyfriend!" I'm yelling at him now. Callie comes storming in.

"I'm with him all the time because you're always preoccupied with your own god damn mental issues!"

"Jude," Callie comes between us, "What the hell is your problem?" He just looks at the both of us. I can't believe he would say something like that to me, he always told me he'd never judge me or treat me differently.

"I'm sorry I," He doesn't know what to say, "I'm going out." He picks up his jacket and leaves Callie and I standing shocked in his room. We hear the front door slam.

"What the hell is going on?" Lena appears. He's supposed to be my friend, my brother.


	37. Chapter 37

I told Taylor about what happened with Jude and she was pretty surprised, he's not an angry guy. I also told her that Stef and Lena wouldn't let me stay over, so she suggested that we stay at her friend Daria's house, that way there's no chance of anything happening, but she did point out that nothing would happen anyway. So, Stef and Lena changed their minds and let me come.

I've never spoken to Daria properly before, but she seems nice, I mean maybe she's a little stuck up but overall, she's just a normal teenage girl. She and Taylor have been talking about the boys in our grade all night. To be fair to Taylor, it's mostly been Daria doing the talking, Taylor seems as bored as I am.

"What about you Gracie?" Daria wakes me from my daydream.

"What about me?" I'm pretty sure this is the first time she's ever asked me a question.

"Any boys you like?" Taylor chuckles, "What?" I'm guessing Daria doesn't know, "It's just, I know you broke up with Jason, so I was wondering if there was any other guy you were interested in."

"Technically, Jason broke up with me and with good reason," I laugh, "I'm not into guys."

"Oh my God, that makes so much sense." She laughs too.

"What does?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing I just meant it makes sense that you and Jason broke up," She's kind of strange, "Well, whatever I'm kind of tired, I'm going to bed." Daria gets up off the floor and climbs into her gigantic bed. Although there's plenty of room for both of us or at least one of us to sleep in the bed too, Daria's provided Taylor and I a blow-up mattress on the floor with a bunch of blankets and pillows.

"She hates sharing her bed," Taylor whispers, "You'd think that would be a problem considering how much she talks about boys." I laugh again, Taylor's always doing that, making me laugh.

Daria shuts the lights off and Taylor and I try to get comfortable on the stiff air mattress. We both whisper back and forth for a while, she tells me about the vacation her family are going on this summer, and how she feels bad that I'm going to be stuck at school for almost half of summer. I'm not really that annoyed about it, if it takes a little extra time and effort to be half as smart as she is, then it's worth it. She smiles when I tell her that. For a moment I contemplate the idea of me having a crush on her, what Jude was saying kind of got to me. The thought vanishes after a few seconds, it's ridiculous. We both kind of stop talking for a while and I'm almost falling asleep, then Taylor speaks again.

"Gracie?"

"Yeah?" I'm facing away from her now.

"Are you still awake?" I roll back over.

"You okay?" She's leaning up on her elbow, she has a look on her face that I can't quite figure out.

"I just..." She doesn't finish, she just keeps looking at me, then I realise she's looking at my lips. Before I can do anything, her lips meet mine for a moment, leaving me confused. "I just had to." She rolls over to turn away from me. I guess Stef and Lena were right.

She kissed me, why would she kiss me? I thought she liked boys, to be perfectly honest I thought she liked Jude, I know she used to, and I just assumed it was still a thing for her. Again, I find myself wondering if I do like her; she makes me smile and laugh, and she's a really good friend, but that's just is, is she a friend or something else? Something more. After I lie there staring at the back of her head for ten minutes, Daria turns the light on. I shut my eyes pretending to be asleep.

"Taylor," I can feel her shaking the bed to get Taylor's attention, "Get up." I sink lower into the bed and hear their footsteps over to the bathroom. "Don't think I didn't see that."

"Shh, she'll hear you."

"She's asleep, so what? Are you a lesbian now? Why do all my friends end up being gay?" Daria seems to make everything about herself.

"I don't know, it doesn't matter anyway."

"It does matter, you kissed her."

"So? I wanted to, so I did." I smile, trying to stay as still as possible

"Do you like her?" Taylor doesn't answer, "Well you obviously do."

"Why are you so offended by this?" Taylor snaps.

"I'm not I just-"

"Daria, this isn't about you, in fact, it's nothing to do with you. If you're my friend, then you'll just be here for me okay?" There's silence for a second.

"Okay, sorry. You're right. It's not about me, I'm here for you." I can see why they're friends, Taylor keeps Daria from being a bitch and Daria helps Taylor let loose.

The next day Callie picks me up from Daria's house to take me home. She can tell straight away that something happened.

"Why so happy?" She asks.

"No reason." I don't even know if I should be happy, Taylor might just be confused. I guess either way she makes me happy.

"Come on Gracie, there's no fooling me."

"Okay. I'll tell you, but you can't tell Jude."

"Oh my God, you do like her, don't you?" Callie doesn't seem mad, in fact, she seems happy for me.

"Callie, she kissed me."

"She did? Wait, she kissed you? Like she initiated it?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what to do I was so shocked, but I didn't stop smiling until I fell asleep and couldn't stop smiling when I woke up. And when she hugged me goodbye... I don't know I just had this feeling."

"Did she anything about it today?"

"No," I think back to breakfast, "But she was smiling too. Ugh, I don't wanna get my hopes up, but I feel good about this."

"Good, I'm happy for you Gracie. What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, what do I do? Well, I guess I have to talk to Jude about it, I hate not talking to him."

"Yeah that's probably a good idea, just don't get distracted from your work okay?"

"God, you sound like mama," Callie smiles at me, "What?"

"You called her mama."

"It's about time I start calling them mom and mama, I mean, I'm an Adams-Foster now... sis."


	38. Chapter 38

So, it's the first day of summer school, I still haven't spoken to Jude or Taylor. Well, I've spoken to Taylor but not about what happened, we've just texted a little bit about some of my math homework. I haven't really stopped thinking about her. I go downstairs for breakfast and it's just me, Callie, Jude and moms, Jesus and Mariana are still asleep.

"Go on," Stef says to Jude. He's obviously told her about our fight. He gets up and walks over to me.

"I'm really sorry for what I said the other day, I crossed the line," He says, "And sorry for thinking there was something going on between you and Taylor, that's just kind of far-fetched." Callie looks at me.

"Uh, yeah it's fine, I'm sorry too, um can I talk to you outside for a second?" Moms and Callie look at us weirdly, but I ignore them and tug him out onto the deck.

"Everything okay?"

"Um yeah, it's just... don't be mad, I hate fighting with you."

"I won't be,"

"You can't promise that I'll just say it," I take a deep breath, "It wasn't that far-fetched, Taylor kissed me."

"What?" He looks confused more than angry, "When?"

"At Daria's, I really wanted to tell you but it's kind of unfair to her," He's baffled, "Jude?"

"It's okay, no I get it, it's just a little weird."

"Weirder than me thinking I could date the daughter of a child molester?"

"Hey, don't think about that. That wasn't your fault."

"So, you're not mad?"

"No, it's cool, we're family," He hugs me, "Besides, families fight all the time, but we never stop loving each other."

Lena drives Callie and me to school and we agree to meet for lunch, seeing as none of our friends had to do summer school like us. It goes pretty well, I'm actually not as far behind as some of the other kids in my class. Come to think of it, I've hardly seen these kids in school, that's why they're behind. I don't have to stay for English and World History so while I wait to go to math for last period, I spend my time in study hall working on my science assignments. I work out that if I get three assignments by the end of the week, then I'll have to stay for the next couple science classes and then I'll have more free time to do more English homework, and then I might be able to take more Literature classes in the 10th Grade.

On the walk home, Callie continues asking me about Taylor.

"So, you've been texting right?"

"Yeah, well I mean she hasn't replied since yesterday."

"What did you say?"

"I just said that the sleepover was fun, and we should do it again. Oh crap, do you think that was too forward? Because I wasn't talking about the kiss, just hanging out you know? What if I've put her off completely?" I bury my face in my hands.

"Calm down," Callie laughs, "It's just a text, I'm sure she just hadn't had a chance to reply yet."

"It's not funny, I could handle if she didn't want to date me or anything but what if she doesn't even want to be friends anymore."

"You're overreacting."

"I don't think so, whatever I'm gonna go lie down." I walk into the house and make my way to the kitchen, I still have to ask Stef and Lena if I can go away with Sophia, she's been pestering me about it. Lena's still not home so maybe if I ask Stef she won't come out with an outright no, she'll want to discuss it with Lena before she makes a decision.

"Hey, Stef,"

"Oh, hi love, how was school?"

"It was great yeah, I got a lot done. Um, can I ask you something?" I sit down and start picking at some grapes.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Well, before you guys adopted me, or before you even fostered me, Sophia invited me to Spain with her and her parents over summer, and I know Callie's going so I was wondering if it would be cool if I go too."

"Yeah, I'm sure that would be fine as long as you finish summer school, I'll talk to mama about it first, though."

"Thank you!" I hug her.

"But we are planning a camping trip, so we'll have to work it around that." She says as I head upstairs.

I walk past Jude and Jesus' room and I can hear Jude talking, he mentions my name, so I can't help but listen.

"Are you sure?" He says.

"No, but there's only one way to find out, I have to kiss her again," It's Taylor, "I mean, I'm certain I like her, I like her a lot but what if it's just her and not all girls?"

"Does it matter? You don't have to decide anything, it's not even a choice. If you like her back, go for it."

"Yeah, you're probably- Wait, did you say back?"

"What? Uh, no I-" I can't believe he just did that, surely I should be the one to tell her I like her.

"You said 'like her back', which would imply that she likes me, did she tell you or are you just guessing?"

"Okay I shouldn't have said anything, do you like her or not?" Taylor's silent for a second.

"Yes. I like her," She groans, "God, I like her a lot, Jude."

"More than you liked me?" Jude cracks up.

"Shut up." I take this as my chance to leave them to talk. Now I just have to pluck up the courage to ask her out, or maybe she wants to ask me out.

I go into Mariana's room to talk to her about it, but when I get in there, she's standing on a step ladder hanging up fairy lights.

"Oh Gracie, do me a favour, hand me that pin." She points down to the shelf.

"What are you doing?" I hand her the pin and I get a strong waft of floral scents up my nose and start coughing, "And what's with all the air freshener?" She pins the lights up and climbs down.

"It's too much like boy in here, so I've been trying to girl it up, so what's up?" She starts fluffing her pink cushions.

"Um, so Taylor kissed me and-"

"Taylor kissed you? What why didn't you tell me? So, you're like dating now? Oh my God, tell me everything." She sits me down on her bed.

"No, no, we're not dating, but I just overheard her tell Jude she likes me, and I like her, and I don't know what to do about it. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it."

"You like her a lot?" I nod, "So just go for it, ask her out."

"Really? It's not too much?"

"Yeah, I mean if you like her what else is there to do?"

"I guess you're right, but I've never asked anyone out before. And what if she says yes? I don't think I can do this."

"Relax, it'll be great, and she will say yes because she likes you."

"Thanks for having me round Jude," I hear Taylor's voice outside the door.

"Go ask her now!" Mariana pulls me up and basically pushes me out of her room and shuts the door behind me, I'm face to face with Taylor.


	39. Chapter 39

"Oh, hey Gracie."

"Uh, I'll see you later Taylor." Jude shoots me a look before closing his door.

"So, how are you?" I try not to act like an awkward fool.

"I'm good, you?"

"I'm good too," I search my whole body for an ounce of courage, "So the other night," She smiles at me.

"Yeah, I'm sorry if that was a bit-"

"No, I liked it." I smile back.

"Me too," For a second, it's like she gets lost in my eyes, then slowly, she leans over and kisses me again, "Wow."

"Wow's right. Listen, since that night I haven't known what to say or do, but I know now. Can I take you out some day?" It wasn't as difficult as I imagined, it felt good.

"Yeah, I would love that. I wanted to ask you but I'm not that good with words." She blushes a little bit.

"It's okay, I wanted to ask you since the second you kissed me."

"Well, I gotta get home so, text me?"

"Sure, I'll walk you out." I put my hand on her back. As we head down the stairs, I look back and see Jude and Mariana smiling like idiots at me. I shoo them away and open the front door for Taylor, we go on to the porch. I don't want Stef to see.

"I guess I'll see you on our date then."

"Yeah," I take the lead this time and kiss her, it lasts a little longer this time, "See you."

"Bye." As she walks away, I can tell she's smiling, she looks back at me when she's a little further down the street. I turn back to the house and see all the others standing in the window watching me, as soon as I notice them, they all pretend not to be looking. Mariana comes to the front door, she's giddy with excitement for me.

"That was so cute!"

"Whatever, come with me," I grab her and bring her back upstairs into my room, Callie's still in the kitchen, "Now what do I do?"

"Why are you freaking out? She said yes, and she kissed you, twice!"

"The thought of being on an actual date... of course I'm freaking out!"

"You went on a date with Jason, you know you can do this."

"But with Jason it was different, he's the guy so he does like the guy stuff you know? With a girl it's different, I have the pressure of making sure she has a good time." Jude comes in.

"What's up?"

"I need advice."

"She's having girl trouble." Mariana pokes fun at me.

"So, you're asking a gay guy because...?"

"Stop joking around guys, I need help. I'm terrified."

"Well if you want you two could come out with me and Noah, we're getting ice cream and then going to this show that one of his friend's playing."

"A double date? I don't know, shouldn't it just be the two of us?"

"We can split up, but maybe if we start off as a group you won't be too nervous."

"You should do it, double dates are great," Mariana adds, "Now, text her and tell her that's the plan and I'll help you pick an outfit."

"Oh God, my outfit! I am not prepared for this." I face-plant my bed.

After hours of searching through both mine and Mariana's clothes, I finally pick out an outfit. I'm going to wear Mariana's black high waisted jeans with a rip in the knee, and my purple long sleeve crop top, it doesn't get too cold at night here, so I don't need a jacket. Callie agreed to let me borrow her black boots. Now all I have to do is talk to moms about out.

I also have to tell Sophia that I can go on vacation with her, but I haven't got around to it. The truth is, I don't really want to go as much as I used to.

"Callie," I roll over to see her sat awake on her laptop, "How come you're still awake?"

"I really don't spend the whole of summer in school, I'm trying to get as much done as possible. Are you okay?"

"Not really, I'm kind of torn. Sophia wants me to go to Spain."

"You should come, I'm going just after my birthday, it would be great if you came too. I wish everyone could come, though."

"Yeah me too. I don't know when I was still in the system and before I got here, it was just a fantasy and as things started to get better, it became a reality and I was excited about it. I wanted to go to get away from everything, but now-"

"You don't want to leave everything?"

"Exactly, I love it here so much and I couldn't imagine being away from you guys for that long."

"So just tell her, I'm sure she'll understand." I know Callie's trying to help, but I honestly don't think Soph would understand. I've had no time for her lately, this was supposed to be a trip all about us. I haven't even told her a thing about Taylor. I haven't told her anything that's going on, all she ever texts me about is the vacation.

"Do you think we're as close as we used to be?"

"Just because you don't see each other as much as you used to, doesn't mean you're not close anymore, I have friends that I hardly ever see but when I do see them, nothing's changed."

"But what if we've both changed, and we don't have the same friendship we used to?"

"I don't think you have to worry, try to get some sleep."

As I try to fall asleep, I go back to think about Taylor, what if she doesn't like the kind of music Noah's friend plays? What if she doesn't like ice cream? What if once we're out, she realises she doesn't like me? Then my mind floats back to Sophia, what if she is really mad that I don't want to go? What if I lie and say Stef and Lena won't let me? What if she finds out I was lying? What if she and Taylor don't get along.

It's useless going back and forth like this, but I can't help it. I've never been one to just 'relax' or 'figure it out in time', I can't rest until I've solved the problem. So, I stay awake. At around three AM, my phone buzzes. It's a text from Taylor.

"Are you up?" She writes.

"Yep, can't sleep."

"Me neither, but I guess it doesn't matter if I sleep in, you have to get up for school."

"Actually, I have free periods in the morning, I don't have to go in until after lunch."

"Would you maybe want to hang out tomorrow when you finish school?" Would it be a date? Because our date is the day after tomorrow, do I really want to meet up with her alone? She sends another text, "Jude, Noah and Daria are coming over, my parents are gonna be out. A few other kids are coming too."

"Is it a party?" The last time I went to a party I threw up and passed out in the back of a car and came home thinking I was straight.

"Kind of, more of a gathering."

"Yeah sure, that would be great. I'll see you tomorrow then."


	40. Chapter 40

After school, I decide I should finally talk to Sophia about Spain, mom told me this morning that she and Lena are fine with me going, but I've made my decision, so I let her know I'm coming over and convince Brandon to drive me to her house on his way back to Courtney's.

"How's life living with your girlfriend?" I ask him.

"It's pretty good, I get why moms are so stressed about money all the time, it's hard to keep on top of things."

"Oh my God," I laugh, "You're literally Stef, you sound exactly like her."

"I do not, any way you can't judge, you're exactly like Lena." He laughs too, but I'm just surprised.

"I am?" I never thought I was anything like either of them.

"Yeah, you're compassionate, you care about things, and you're always as honest as you can be."

"You really think I'm like her?"

"And, you always make sure everyone else is okay before yourself, no matter what."

"Thanks, Brandon, I really needed to hear that." Thinking about what to say to Sophia has been stressing me out all day, but he just helped me out a lot. "Thanks for the ride, I'll get a bus home or something." I get out of the car and he drives off to his girlfriend's house. Sophia and I sit out by the pool.

"Is everything okay, you sounded weird on the phone?" She hands me a glass of lemonade.

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk about Spain."

"They won't let you go? That sucks."

"No, they're fine with it but I don't think I am."

"What? You don't want to come?"

"I do but, I don't want to leave my family, I'm still settling in and I will be for a while. I've just gotten everything I've ever wanted, and I don't want to be away from it, not even for a second."

"I thought I was family to you?"

"You are, you know what I mean. I'd miss them too much, they keep me sane." She looks like she might cry.

"I used to be the one who kept you sane, and you for me."

"I'd love to say that's true, but it's not. Sophia," I take her hand, "before they fostered me, I was a mess, yeah you helped me through it, but I never really got better until I moved in with them, they give me the help I really need. It doesn't mean we're not still best friends."

"Sisters?" She looks up at me.

"Sisters," We hug, "There's another thing, I have a date tomorrow."

"With who?" She snaps back to her normal self.

"Her name's Taylor, I met her on my first day at Anchor Beach, she's Jude's best friend. We're going on a double date with him and his boyfriend."

"Ahh! G, I'm so happy for you! You totally deserve this."

"She's actually having a small party thing tonight, I asked her this morning if I could come and she said yeah, you up for it?"

"Yeah, that sounds awesome, we can get ready together."

"Actually, Jesus is driving Jude and I, so I can't, but I'll meet you outside?" I look at my watch, it's almost dinner time, "I have to go, sorry Soph."

"It's cool, yeah, I'll meet you there."

I have to sprint to be home in time for dinner, but it's worth it because Callie cooked tonight, she made the pasta we made together that time. It's so delicious.

"So, Jesus, you're driving Jude and Gracie to Taylors and Callie you're picking them up at eleven."

"Eleven?" Jude says.

"Can't it be eleven thirty? I don't have any classes tomorrow." I argue.

"Eleven fifteen then." Lena says, trying to diffuse the situation, "Her parents are going to be there right? Because last time you were out at night unsupervised someone got shot." I have to stop myself from spitting my food out.

"What? Who got shot?"

"My ex-boyfriend, he lived it was just his foot. And yes, her mom's going to be there," Jude lies, "And anyway there's like nine people going."

"Will there be alcohol?" Mariana asks, not being subtle at all when she looks at me.

"No, we have to get ready." Jude and I put out empty plates by the sink and head upstairs.

"There will be alcohol, right?" I ask him.

"Oh yeah."

I decided to wear the outfit that Mariana helped me pick out for tomorrow, I can always find another outfit. I'm kind of nervous, this is going to be like sort of preview of our date, just with more people. I'm mostly nervous that there'll be a repeat of the last time I was at a party and I'll end up wasted again, yeah, I could just not drink anything, but I'm so anxious that I won't be able to get through it without a little bit of help.

We pick up Noah on the way and Jesus insists on blasting hip-hop music in the car the whole way there, he says it'll make us look cool to turn up like this but really, we just look like idiots. When we get out of the car, Sophia is standing outside waiting for us, she looks nervous too.

"Hey, you alright?" I hug her, Jude and Noah go in ahead of us.

"Yeah, I've just never been to a party like this before."

"It's just a few kids from school, don't worry about it, you'll be fine."

"Can you smell that?" She says.

"Gracie!" Taylor swings the door open and embraces me with a tight hug, she's drunk, "You're finally here!"

"Yeah, uh, Taylor, this is my friend Sophia, you met her before a few times, right?"

"Sophia!" She hugs her the same way, Sophia looks pretty uncomfortable.

"Come on, come and have a drink." Taylor grabs my hand and pulls me inside.

There's more than a few kids from school here, Daria's here, but a lot of these people I don't even recognise. It's a similar vibe to the other party at that kid's house. People dancing, making out, playing drinking games and I can smell what Sophia was talking about, people are smoking weed here. Pretty quickly I lose Sophia and I'm with Taylor in the kitchen, she's making me a drink.

"How much have you had?" I ask her, trying to laugh so I don't sound like a prude.

"Just a few beers, and some vodka." She hands me a beer.

"Where did you even get it?"

"I know a guy," She takes another big gulp from her red solo cup, "I'm so happy you came." We lean against the kitchen island.

"Me too," I kiss her quickly, "I think you should slow down, it's only 8:30." I take her cup and put it down.

"You're right, I don't need a drink to have a good time, not when I have you here." We walk back out into the living room where the music is playing, and we start dancing. I can't see Sophia anywhere, I'm sure she's okay, if she wasn't, she would have found me by now. It's fun dancing with Taylor, I don't have to be nervous about saying the wrong thing because we're not even talking. She's a good dancer too, better than I was when I was practising for the dance team try-out I never got to go to.

I have a few more drinks before I decide it's a good time to stop. I don't want to get grounded again, I leave Taylor talking to some of her friends and I go outside. The air outside is thick with smoke, as I wade through it, I see Jude and Noah sitting there on a bench laughing. Jude has a joint in his hand.

"Jude? You smoke weed?" I sit down next to them.

"Yeah a little, here and there," Noah laughs. I'm surprised, he always seemed like a straight edge kind of guy, "You want some?"

"No, no thank you it's not for me."

"You sure, Sophia's had some." He points to the other end of the patio and Sophia is sat with a group of kids holding her own joint. I walk over to her and pull her aside.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What? It's fun you should try it." She holds it out for me, but I smack it on to the floor, some guy picks it up and starts smoking it for himself. Sophia just laughs.

"This isn't you!"

"Relax, I'm just trying to have fun like you."

"I've had a few beers, but I'm not drunk. And I'm definitely not high, Sophia, your parents are going to kill you, and me! I can't believe you would be so dumb!" Taylor comes out and stands next to me.

"Me? You're the one who can't even finish the ninth grade without having to sit through weeks of summer school, you're the one who dated a psycho, you're the one who always gets herself into screwed up situations and can't admit its own fault!" She screams at me, everyone else goes silent. She walks off back to her new stoner friends. I knew we were drifting, I just didn't know she'd go so far as to insult me in front of my brother and the girl I like, not to mention everyone else at this party.

I'm not putting up with it, despite what she said it's not my fault. I take Taylor, Jude and Noah back inside and we all dance. I don't have to waste my night worrying about Sophia. Admittedly, I drink a little more alcohol that I can handle, so does Taylor and Jude winds up having to get us to lie down for a while. We lie down on her bed. After we both fall asleep for an hour or two. I realise I'm pretty much sober now, I roll over to face her. She's just waking up.

"Where did Daria go?" I ask her.

"Ugh, she's still trying to lose her virginity before everyone else," It's surprising to me, every time I've heard her speak, it hasn't been without hearing the words 'hot boys', "I don't want to talk about her." She's still a little bit drunk.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"We don't have to talk at all." She leans over, and we start kissing, it's going really well until Jude bursts in shouting about Sophia.

"Sophia's having a panic attack! She's asking for you." Taylor and I rush downstairs to the backyard where people are standing in a crowd watching her crying on the ground, Noah's there trying to calm her down.

"Call Callie," I say to Jude, "Sophia," I crouch next to her, "What happened?"

"She just started freaking out," Noah says.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!" She falls from Noah's arms into mine.

"Everyone out!" I shout to everyone, they're staring at her like she's an animal in a zoo, "Now!" They all start shuffling about as Taylor and Noah shoo them out of the house. Jude and I take Sophia inside to sit down.

"Callie was out with AJ, she's in the neighbourhood and she'll be here any minute."

"What's going on?" Daria comes out of the bathroom.

"Go home, Daria." Taylor doesn't even look at her, I can tell Daria feels pushed aside as she leaves the house, the look on her face says it all. Taylor gives Sophia a glass of water.

"Is this because of the weed?" I ask Jude.

"Yeah, it can happen. When Brandon tried it, he had to get mama to pick him up because he was freaking out."

"I'm dying, I'm dying I can't do this," Sophia says.

"Brandon tried it? Jeez, you guys surprise me every day."

"Has she ever had a panic attack before?"

"Yeah a couple of times, she'll be okay soon, they've never gone on longer than an hour."

"What the hell happened?" Callie storms in and runs to her sisters' side.


	41. Chapter 41

**So, this chapter is really short but the last one was really long so that kind of makes up for it, please leave me reviews with your thoughts on the storyline. Also, let me know if you would like this story to come to a happy ending or if you want me to just keep writing until there's simply nothing left to write. Thanks :).**

"I can't breathe!" Sophia says.

"It's okay, just drink your water," Callie stands up and looks at Jude, "You let her smoke pot?"

"It's not his fault, neither of us was with her." I stick up for him.

"And, where were you?"

"She was with me," Taylor holds my hand, "Callie this is no one's fault it's just a bad reaction." Taylor seems to have sobered up a lot more now.

"You shouldn't have been having a party like this!" She yells at Taylor, that's too far.

"Hey, don't get mad at her."

"You're supposed to be her best friend, how could you let this happen?" She yells at me again.

"You're supposed to be my sister, why are you so mad at me? She's the one who's high."

"Because she's my sister too, and you were supposed to be looking out for her." She's right, I didn't think about that, but after what Sophia said to me, I'm not so sure we're best friends anymore.

After hours of trying to get Sophia to stop crying, she finally calms down. She's sat on the couch huddled up with a cup of tea. Callie's talking to her.

"I'm sorry that you were dragged down here," She says, "Are you going to tell dad?"

"No, but if it happens again I will. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know," She looks at me awkwardly, "Just a lot going on right now. It won't happen again." Taylor, Jude and I go into the kitchen.

"You alright?" Taylor holds my hand.

"Me? I'm fine."

"It's just, she did say some pretty harsh stuff," Jude says.

"Yeah but-"

"You didn't deserve that."

"Look, what she said hurt me of course, but she's clearly having a hard time right now. I've said some things I've regretted when I'm not happy, I have to look at it from her perspective."

"Come on, we're going home." Callie comes in, she's still mad at us. I say goodbye to Taylor, giving her a kiss before we get into the car. Sophia doesn't say anything to me the whole way home, and we she gets out of the car she looks at me really strangely through the window.

When I'm all tucked up in bed, I can't get to sleep for the life of me, I keep shuffling around and I can tell by Callie's huffs and puffs that she's getting really annoyed.

"Just go to sleep already." She says.

"How can I sleep when you and Sophia are both mad at me."

"Alright listen," She turns her lamp on and sits up, "I don't know about Sophia but anytime you, or her or Jude or any of the others do something stupid, of course, I'm gonna be mad because you're my sister and if anything, bad happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with it. I would feel so guilty that I wasn't there to help you, or stop you for that matter," I know exactly what she means. If anything were to happen to any of my family, I would feel awful too. I guess I just couldn't see what I was putting her through, "I won't tell moms or my dad, but I need you to know, that if something happens and you need help, you can call me. Just stop getting yourself into these situations."

"I'm so sorry, you're right. I swear it's not happening again."

"It's okay, I'm sorry for being so angry. Truth is, I just love you guys a lot."

"I love you too Callie." I close my eyes and try to think of positive things, like my date with Taylor tomorrow.


	42. Chapter 42

I wake up the next day feeling extremely nervous about the date, I know it'll be fine, we get along and I know she likes me, but I just don't want to let her down. To take my mind off of it I try to study a little more, but Stef comes into my room looking really concerned.

"Can you come and talk to me and mama for a second?" She says walking away. Something's happened. I follow her down to the living room.

"Gracie, sit down," Lena says as she and Stef sit down and hold hands. I sit opposite them on the couch.

"Where's everyone else?" I know Callie's at school, but the house has been dead silent since I woke up.

"They're out. Listen, Gracie, something's happened."

"I figured." I try to keep the mood light, but they seem really weirded out.

"It's your dad."

"My dad? He's dead." As soon as I say it, I realise they mean my birth dad.

"Your birth dad, he wants to see you." I shake my head.

"It's come to light that he was wrongfully charged, he's been released."

"No, but, Cordelia, she said he raped her, why would she lie?"

"We don't know. There's an investigation going on."

"No, it's supposed to be over, I'm supposed to be getting past all that. This is my family, not him." I can't believe this. I have to stand up and walk around to shake this out of my system.

"I know it's difficult sweetie," Lena gets up, "And you don't have to see him, but we've talked it over and we really think it might be worth hearing him out."

"No, I can't, I'm sorry." I grab my jacket by the door and leave. I can't face this. They don't follow me, they know I need space.

I just walk around aimlessly for a while. Just getting some fresh air is helping me out. I could talk to Callie about it, but her dad isn't a criminal. Back before I got adopted, before all of the crap started, I would talk to Sophia about this stuff. After her, I would talk to Rachel. I feel so alone now. I have my family, I have Taylor, but no one could ever understand.

I find myself standing outside the bar where Brandon works, he's in there right now playing the piano for the lunch hour. I can't just walk in, I'm only fifteen, if a kid walks into a bar at this time, they'll know something's up.

"Hey," I hear a voice behind me, "Gracie, what are you doing here?" Courtney's getting out of her car.

"I don't really know, I just kind of walked here."

"You walked all the way from your house? Come on, I'll take you inside."

"No, it's fine, I'll just wait until Brandon's shift ends."

"He'll be on his break any minute, you can sit in the back room and talk to him." She leads me inside, it's dark in there but I see Brandon on the little stage playing his songs. He notices me and looks confused, but he doesn't stop. Courtney sits me down in the breakroom, she gives me a glass of water and a sandwich. "His break starts at one, so he'll be out in five minutes," She sits next to me, "Have you been crying?" She looks at my face. I hadn't really noticed, I'm always crying these days, it's become second nature. I wipe away any tears.

"I'm fine, you know I should probably just go."

"Gracie, what happened?" Brandon comes in and sits down next to me, Courtney leaves us.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." I try to walk out but he stops me.

"Sit down," He puts his arm around me, "Talk to me."

"My birth dad wants to see me." I haven't told any of the fosters about him."

"I thought, he died?"

"It's a long story, the guy I thought was my birth dad was actually my Grandpa. My real dad, his name is Greg, he was in prison, but it turns out he wasn't supposed to be. I don't know what to do."

"Have you talked to moms?"

"They're the ones who told me, I couldn't handle it, I just ran out."

"They're probably worried, I'll text them and let them know you're here," He pulls out his phone, "Why don't you want to see him?"

"I don't want anything to change. I'm finally happy, well I was."

"Maybe, I don't know, maybe it'll be good for you to see him," His phone buzzes, "Mama's on her way over."

"But what if he tries to mess with the adoption? He can do that, adoptions can be reversed."

"Mom's won't let that happen, not unless you want it to."

"I don't."

"She's here, already?" He looks at his phone, "She said she left just after you did, come on, I'll walk you to the car." My legs feel like jelly, my whole body does. Brandon closes the car door after I get in, he leans in through the window. "Don't worry, no decisions are being made right away."

"Thanks, Brandon," Mama says.

"I'll see you guys at dinner." We drive away.

"Why do you guys want me to see him so bad?" I ask her, "Do you know more about him than I do?"

"He's been fighting to get out of prison for fifteen years, and it got a lot more real for him when he found out about you."

"He didn't know?" I suddenly feel kind of bad for him, "How did he find out?"

"His lawyer told him about you not long after you visited Cordelia, there's some talk that they've somehow been in contact."

"She's been talking to him?" Judging by the way Cordelia talked about him, you wouldn't think that she'd ever want to talk to him."

"It doesn't mean you have to, but if things work out, it might be nice for you to have a father figure."

"I don't want one! I like things the way they are, my whole life everything always changes and right now I'm in a really great situation and I thought it would never change, I don't want a dad!" I slam the door as I get out of the car and go into the house.

I wanted to run up to my bedroom and just be alone, maybe call Taylor but when I get inside Stef is stood in the living room with my social worker Anita and a woman I've never seen before, Callie's here too.

"What's happening?" I ask Stef, she's crying.

"Stef, honey?" Lena goes to her wife.

"Gracie, this is Rita," Anita and the woman come over to me, "She runs a group home called Girls United." My heart starts pounding.


	43. Chapter 43

Stef and Lena make me sit down in the kitchen with Anita, Callie and Rita while she explains what's happening to Lena. No one cares that I don't have a clue what's going on. I know it's about my birth dad, though, it couldn't be anything else. Stef and Lena come back, looking more upset than before.

"I'm sorry Gracie, there's nothing I can do," Stef says.

"About what? What's going on?" They're taking me away again, this isn't supposed to happen, I'm adopted now. I get up and walk to Stef and Lena

"It's okay." Callie takes my hand.

"It's not okay, tell me what's happening," I say to Anita.

"Your father has good lawyers, he's fighting to get you back."

"He's not my father, and he can't do that, his name wasn't on my birth certificate, I'm adopted now, Stef and Lena are my mom's!" I yell at her.

"I promise you'll be safe with me," Rita says, to her fairness, she seems genuinely upset for me.

"Safe? With a stranger? In a house full of strangers? Why can't any of you see that the safest place for me is with my family?" I get behind my mothers. "Please don't let her take me away from you!" I beg them.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, we're going to fix this a quickly as we can."

"We have to go now, Rita has other girls to be taking care of," Anita says. "You should pack a bag."

"No, I'm not going anywhere!" The front door opens, the others must be back, I run out to them and go straight into Mariana's arms. "They're all crazy, they're trying to take me away again."

"Hey, calm down Gracie, what's happening?" We go back into the kitchen.

"Rita?" Jude says, they all obviously know her well. But it doesn't change the fact that she's not my parent, Stef and Lena are.

"Mariana, Callie, take Gracie upstairs."

"I'm not packing a bag because I'm staying right here," I say as Callie and Mariana escort me back up to my room. Mariana tries to figure out what's happening as Callie starts putting my clothes into a bag, I start grabbing my things from her and putting them back in the drawers.

"Gracie, it's only going to be worse if you don't cooperate with it."

"I haven't even met him, why does he think he can just take me?"

"He's not taking you, you're going to be back here in no time. Rita's great, she's incredible and Girls United is not like other homes. Don't you remember me telling you about it?"

"When you talked about it, you said the whole time you were there you wished you were here. I'm not leaving." I keep snatching my clothes from her.

"Gracie," She grabs my arms, "I promise it's going to be okay. You'll do your school work, you'll do your chores and you'll see moms on the weekend, then you'll be back here before you know it. I'm promising, I don't break promises." I stop fighting and sit on my bed, Mariana puts her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"You don't that know for sure," I say quietly, Callie continues packing.

"I do because it worked out for me. So, it will work out for you."

I'm forced to say goodbye to my family. This isn't right, this shouldn't be happening. Why does it have to happen when everything's so perfect? They all tell me I'll be fine, but no one can guarantee that. Callie is allowed to come in the car with me, but Stef and Lena aren't. It's hardest saying goodbye to them, they're both crying. It's not even my fault yet I still make them cry. I have to leave my phone and my laptop behind.

"The girls are really friendly, you'll be sharing a room with Kiara," Rita says as she drives the minivan with Callie and me in the back seat.

"She's great, we're really good friends," Callie adds, trying to make me feel comfortable. Nothing about this situation is comfortable. We pull up to the house, it's not like I thought it would be I'll admit.

Rita takes us into the house, "Welcome to Girls United, I'll show you to your room after you meet the girls, there are six girls who live here full time."

"They don't lock you in here either, they have a lot of trust," Callie says.

"Like I said to Callie on her first day here, if you violate that trust then you get placed in a more restrictive group home." She says it quite firmly like she wants to scare me. It worked. "Girls!" She shouts. She takes me into what seems to be a living room, it's pretty nice, no TV but I wouldn't expect one. There's a woman sat in there writing on a clipboard, "Michelle, this is Gracie, she's going to be staying with us for a while."

"It's nice to meet you, I'm basically here to be your counsellor." She shakes my hand

"Hi." A bunch of other girls come in. As they pass me, they all look me up and down. The last girl walks past me and the second I see her, I know for a fact I'm not safe. It's the girl who stole my mom's recipes and pictures about a year ago, she also beat the crap out me and said I did it to myself. Her name's Gabi. They all sit down on the couches and armchairs. I sit down next to Callie.

"Why don't you introduce yourself and say a little something about you? Your age, where you're from, why you're here." Rita says. I look to Callie, she gives me a nod as if to reassure me.

"Um, I'm Gracie. I'm fifteen, I'm adopted, I shouldn't be here." I say quietly, then Callie starts talking.

"Now this is the part where Rita says, 'Does anyone else feel they don't belong here?' and you say-"

"Yes." They all say, and they laugh. As if it's funny that we're forced to live in a group home.

"Very funny, okay girls, go around the circle and introduce yourselves too."

"I guess I'll start, I'm Kiara, I'm fifteen, I've been in juvie four times, I'm here for gang stuff, drugs and that. I've been here for five months.

"I'm Becka, I'm sixteen, I've been here for two months,"

"Becka, why do I have to keep telling you to put your feet down?" Rita interrupts her, Becka moves from her huddled position into a slightly more open, yet still hunched, one.

"Um, I'm in for selling and using drugs, and I punched a cop. I was shooting before I came here, so if I wasn't taken in, I'd probably be dead."

"I'm Carmen, I'm seventeen, I'm trying to join the army, but stuff keeps getting in the way, I've been in and out of here for like a year now, I've been to juvie a couple of times for gangs, drugs, kidnapping."

"I'm Cole, I'm fifteen, I've been here a couple months, but I'm going to an LGBT home soon, I'm here for stealing and prostitution."

"Gabi, your turn," Rita says. Gaby's been staring at me this whole time.

"I'm Gabi, I've been here five months, and I'm in for home invasion, robbery, cyberbullying and most recently assault." She smirks at me.

"We have a zero-tolerance policy for violence, so if you put your hands on anyone in this house, you'll be removed no exceptions," Rita adds. Up until right now, I've never had any desire to hurt anyone, but right now I have the urge start pounding on Gabi just like she did to me. I hate the fact that I let her get away with it. "Why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself?"

"Well for starters, I'm not a criminal-"

"We're equals here," Kiara says.

"Well said Kiara, Gracie this is a no judgement zone. You're here because your moms fought for you to stay here, it's the safest in the area." I don't feel safe having Gabi staring me out.

"Okay, well, my Grandpa raised me until he killed himself when I was seven, he told me he was my father. My birth mom's in prison for drugs and other stuff and my birth father is the reason I can't be with my family right now. The closest I've been to juvie is the secure ward at St. James' hospital for a suicide attempt, I'm on meds for all that now. I guess that's it."

"Okay, girls, go to the kitchen and start on dinner. Gracie, you say goodbye to Callie and then Cole will tell you all about the rules for cooking and cleaning and everything else." Callie and I go out to the porch.

"Stef told me to give you this, but you have to keep it hidden this time, even from Rita, it's for emergencies." She hands my cell phone and charger.

"Thank you."

"Don't worry Gracie, we're gonna fix this, I swear." She hugs me and heads off.


	44. Chapter 44

"So, you're a boy? What are you doing in this home?" I ask Cole as he hands me a wooden spoon to stir the soup with.

"I'm transgender, the council wouldn't let me into an LGBT home at first but they're finally seeing sense."

"You know they didn't have space for you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." Becka says.

"Whatever, Becka. Gracie, stir." He points to the pot on the stove. He just stands back and watches.

"Why aren't you doing anything?"

"I'm kitchen foreman, I just supervise. If you don't do your job, you get a UA."

"What's that?"

"An unacceptable," Gabi says, still staring me out as she cuts up potatoes. Seeing her with a knife is horrible, I know she's desperate to gouge it into my face. I never understood why she hated me so much. I do as Cole says and start stirring. I talk to Kiara as she cuts up some carrots.

"Callie says you guys are good friends?" I ask her.

"Yeah, she's great. She saved me from the streets a couple of times, well technically it was Stef but if it weren't for Callie, Stef would never have known. They let me stay at their house for a night." They're so welcoming to everyone.

"I wish I was back there right now."

"Why? Don't you like us?" I turn back to Gabi, she's holding the knife at a weird angle pulling the most psychotic face.

"Most of you seem pretty cool," I mumble.

"I swear to god Gabi if one of those knives goes missing again, I'm looking right at you," Cole says. Jeez, she's stolen knives before?

After dinner, we all have to clean up the other girls get to have free time, but I have to study, which honestly, I don't really mind. If I can do anything to distract myself then I don't care what it is. But as I'm studying math, I suddenly remember that tonight was supposed to be my date with Taylor. I know Jude will have told her, but I just wish I could have done it myself. I would text her, but I don't want to risk having my phone taken from me, I don't know whether or not Kiara would rat me out.

"So, are you guys allowed out?"

"Nah, apart from school it's pretty much lockdown. But sometimes we get field trips, and on Saturdays, we have Family Day. Will your moms be coming?"

"I don't know, Callie said something about having visitation privileges, how do I get those?"

"Just talk in group, do your jobs, don't pound on anyone, and then we all vote on Friday who deserves their privileges. You'll be fine, I can tell you're not a bad kid," She lays down on her bed, "So, earlier you mumbled about most of us being okay, seemed to be a remark to Gabi, you know her?"

"She used to mess with me, in an old foster home. She stole all my stuff and burnt a lot of it, and she beat the crap out of me a couple times."

"She didn't get in trouble?"

"No, she'd tell the staff that I did it to myself, it wasn't hard to believe because I was always hurting myself. As for the stealing and the fire, she said if I told anyone she'd get her boyfriend to kill me."

"That's crazy, I never knew just how screwed up she was. Are you scared of her?"

"Yeah, she's been giving me the weirdest looks all day. I'm worried she'll try and hurt me."

"If she lays a hand on you, I'll pound her."

"No, you're really nice I don't want you getting kicked out on my account, thank you, though."

"I like to think I'm the nicest one here, you know, I actually thought Gabi was until you told me all that. But maybe she's changed, she doesn't seem like that anymore."

"I don't know, she didn't act that way with anyone apart from me. People love picking on me, it happens everywhere I go."

"I'm sorry Gracie, sounds tough. But you know what, a tough life makes a tough girl."

Kiara falls asleep and I spend yet another night lying awake worrying. I have school tomorrow but how am I supposed to focus on getting my privileges knowing that I'm now living with a girl who wants to hurt me and that my criminal birth father wants to take me. At least I get to see Callie and Lena, I guess that's a plus, but it'll be hard knowing I can't go home with them. The next day, Rita drops me off at school and Callie is there waiting at the doors for me.

"Hey," She hugs me, "How was it?"

"It was fine," I decide not to tell her about Gabi, it would only worry her, "Rita and Kiara are nice, I didn't speak to any of the others that much."

"Don't worry, you'll get your privileges and we'll all be there to see you on Family Day." Callie and I walk to Lena's office.

"I'm so sorry Gracie," She hugs me too.

"It's not your fault, it's his," I sit down, "Have you heard anything else?" I ask her.

"He's insisting on seeing you tomorrow,"

"If it'll get him off my case and back in my house then I'll do it. I don't want to be away from guys any longer."


	45. Chapter 45

Back at Girls United, I try my best to stay well away from Gabi, taking the trash out, setting the table, but she finds her ways to follow me. When I was cleaning the bathroom floor, she manages to corner me. I avoid eye contact.

"I know you're scared of me." She says.

"I have a good reason." I talk quietly, I don't want to anger her.

"I can't deny it, seeing you again reminded me of how much fun we used to have," Fun? It wasn't fun for me, "Remember why I used to hurt you?" She grabs my arm and tugs the sleeve up, revealing all the scars I've been trying so desperately to conceal since I got here, "I was just giving you what you asked for." She throws my arm back, I pull my sleeve down again. Then she walks out of the bathroom, staring at me with that same psychotic smile.

After taking a deep breath a few minutes to collect myself, I go downstairs and help the girls clean up the kitchen. Gabi's on mop duty. I just know she's waiting for all the girls to turn away, so she can hurt me again. Every time I walk across the kitchen to clean another counter, she pushes the mop out in front of me and tries to trip me up, but I'm not stupid, I see it coming every time. But I think she's just trying to scare me, she wouldn't hurt me here, not in front of everyone.

At school the next day I can't pay attention to anything, the thought of having to see my dad is playing on my mind. What's he going to say? What if he somehow finds a way to make everything even worse? Lena takes me out of school early to go and see him, that's one of the perks of this, getting to go with her instead of my social worker.

"It'll be okay, if you need to get out of the room for a second you can just tell me, and we'll go and take a breather." She says.

"What are the odds of him winning this fight? Winning me?"

"If he just wants what's best for you, he'll let you decide."

"I've already made my mind up."

We go up a long drive to a big house, this is where he lives. He's rich, or at least his family is. After Lena rings the doorbell, we're met by a man in a tuxedo, a butler. He doesn't say anything, he just takes our coats and brings us inside. The house is gigantic, it's practically a mansion. He takes us to a big set of double doors. They open and there stands a man in a suit.

"Gracie," He says with a brittle voice, "I'm your father."

"And this is one of my mothers, Lena." They shake hands.

"Uh, come in, we should talk." He brings us inside the room, it's like a boardroom, the kind you'd have in the houses of parliament in London, the table is big enough for at least thirty people to sit around, but at one end of the table is a man in a suit surrounded by papers. Greg sits next to him. I don't feel nervous anymore, just angry. I make Lena sit next to him, I don't want to be near him.

"Let's make this quick, Stef and Lena are my mothers and the Adams-Fosters are my family. I don't want to be involved with you in any way."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple, you're biologically my daughter, and if I had known about you, I would have raised you, I want to make up for that."

"You think you know what's best for me?"

"I'm your father, of course, I do." The man sitting next to him, presumably his lawyer takes notes as we speak.

"If you knew what was best for me, you would have at least waited to talk to me before forcing me to live in a home full of criminals and drug addicts," He looks shocked, "You assumed I wouldn't speak to you unless I had to, which is true, but I wasn't given a chance to tell anyone how I feel about this until it was too late."

"I was trying to get you out of that home."

"Out of home full of people who love me and respect me? Yeah, you're right, it's horrible being happy." I say sarcastically.

"Gracie," Lena stops me.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. But I'm not resting until I'm back with my family."

"I am your family."

"My real family," I say sharply, "I should go. I have chores to get done." I try to calm down.

"Chores?" He looks confused, "They treat you like slaves in that house, don't they?"

"You're the reason I'm there, so don't try and feel sorry for me. Truth be told, I'd rather be there scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom every day instead of living with you. You ruined my life." I get up and walk out. Lena follows straight away, she's the type of person who would stay and apologise for my behaviour, but she's just as mad as I am.

"I wish there was a way for me just snap my fingers and fix this." She says on the way to GU.

When I get back, I really just need a moment to myself in my room, but Rita insists on me helping the girls clean up, I guess I missed dinner all together. Gabi's back at it with the mop, but again, there are too many witnesses.

Over the next few days, I don't have any classes, so I have more free time, but I spend it studying, Gabi's been managing to get me alone and threaten a lot. I feel like I'm back in that home again, like nothing's changed, I'm just another foster kid again. Tomorrow's Family Day, I'm pretty sure the girls will vote for me to get my privileges, but not Gabi, she'd do anything to make me miserable, or more miserable. We have to clean the kitchen before the group meeting. I'm somewhat excited, because if I do get my privileges, because if I do get them, then I'll get to see Stef and all the other kids too. I miss hanging out with Jude and listening to Jesus' dumb music through the walls, I miss Mariana asking me and Callie for opinions on her clothes and Callie trying her best not to fall asleep when she tries on a million different outfits, I miss Stef being strict about clearing the table and tidying our rooms. I miss it all.

As we clean the kitchen, Carmen and Cole are busy setting up things for Family Day, so this time it's just Kiara in here with Gabi and me, now there's only one girl to get rid of Gabi can try to hurt me, the fewer witnesses there are, the easier it is for her. The second Kiara goes to take the trash out, I know I'm in trouble. I try to dodge her as she suddenly shoves me against the counter.

"I heard you crying last night," She has her arms either side of me, I'm trapped, "Kiara might be a light sleeper but I'm not." I duck under her arm and try to get out of the kitchen, but I trip on something and end up face down on the floor, I hit my head on the counter on the way down. When I look back up at Gabi, I can see she has her foot underneath mine. She tripped me up.


	46. Chapter 46

"What the hell happened?" Rita gives me a cold flannel to put on my head while the other girls stand around and stare at me on the couch. Everything feels a little fuzzy, I could barely walk when Gabi helped me up. She pretended to help me

"She slipped on the wet floor," She says as she wipes the blood from my face, "It's my fault I didn't dry it properly, she whacked her head on the counter on the way down.

"Okay, we're getting you an ambulance, Michelle, can you call?"

"No, I'm fine it's just a bump."

"You're bleeding, we need to you checked out," I start to fall asleep, but Rita shakes me awake, "You can't sleep you might have a concussion." She makes me sit up.

"Why?" I ask. Things keep slipping from my mind.

"You hit your head! Okay, she's definitely concussed."

I open my eyes and straight ahead of me I see two paths, standing on the right is Greg, in the distance behind me I see his mansion. Standing on the left I see the Adams-Fosters, they're smiling at me, holding each other close. Then I look back to Greg, he doesn't look happy, he looks stressed.

Suddenly the paths disappear and the next thing I know, I'm in an ambulance with Stef holding my hand, but I black out again and see flashing images of the two paths, I back further away but it's out of my control, Greg isn't looking at me but he still looks stressed, the Adams-Fosters stop smiling and start shouting at me to come back, but they can't move to come and get me, then I wake up in hospital.

"I think she's coming around," Stef says, Lena's there too, "Gracie, are you alright?"

"What happened?" I touch my head, it's wrapped in a bandage, I remember what Gabi did.

"You slipped in the kitchen at GU."

"Oh no, the group meeting. They're supposed to vote on whether or not I get privileges to see you guys!"

"Gracie, it's okay, we're here." Stef strokes my face.

"What about the others? Are they here?" I look to my right and see them out in the hall smiling at me, "Can they come in?"

"The nurse said two visitors at a time, they'll come in in a second, can you remember anything? You were repeating yourself in the ambulance."

"I remember falling, and I remember being on the couch, and I remember a little from the ambulance. When did you get there?"

"Rita called me as soon as it happened, are you sure you fell?"

"Phone call for Gracie Adams-Foster?" A nurse comes in, "It's a girl from your group home." She hands me the phone and leaves.

"We'll give you a second," Lena says and they follow the nurse out.

"Hello?"

"Gracie? It's Gabi. Listen, I'm sorry, I just meant to scare I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"Why do you hate me so much? It's been ages since the old home."

"Honestly? I was jealous of you, you went through so much crap, but you kept a brave face, and it made me mad. I'm sorry about that, it was wrong and cruel."

"Okay."

"Okay? Do you forgive me? Because I promise, it stops now."

"I forgive you, but it doesn't make us friends." I hang up. Maybe she deserves a chance at becoming a better person, that's what Girls United is for.

I feel sick to my stomach, I have to lean over my bed and throw up on the floor, I can't make it to the bathroom or a trash can. Stef and Lena come rushing back in with the nurse. I feel dizzy and disoriented again. I black out one more time and I see the paths again, the two paths are further away, Greg is facing away from me, walking to his house, shaking his head. The Adams-Fosters are following me. They're trying to save me. I turn around and look down, the ground beneath me stops only a few centimetres in front of my feet. If I take one step, I'm dead. Then I feel hands grasping around me and I fall back to the ground. My family caught me.


	47. Chapter 47

I wake up lying on my side, I had another dream, but this one was about Taylor. It's hard to remember exactly what happened, but I remember being happy in the dream. I should tell Stef and Lena, no more secrets. I plan to tell them the second they come in, but they don't come alone.

"Gracie, oh my God, what happened?" Greg runs to my bedside.

"I tripped in the kitchen, I'm fine." He tries to hug me, but I push him away, he truly looks heartbroken.

"You had me so worried, I'm so sorry this happened." Stef and Lena look at me, as if to ask if they should leave or not, I nod to them and they go outside leaving the door ajar. I can still see them and the rest of my family through the window on my right.

"It's not your fault," Well, it kind of is, he hadn't had me taken from my home I wouldn't have been hurt, but there's no use in making him feel bad.

"This is why you need to be home with me and your brother, then things like-"

"Hold on, brother?"

"I was supposed to wait to tell you, but I want you to meet him."

"This is a little too much right now, I have a family."

"I know, I know you do, and I know you love them, but I really feel like you're supposed to be with us."

"What's his name?"

"Freddie, he's your age. and he's your half-brother." It's so strange to think there's another kid out there with my DNA.

"Where does he live?"

"With me and my mother, in the house that you visited. Look, Gracie, you don't have to make a decision right now, I don't care how long it takes you to realise you're supposed to be with us. You can go back to the Adams-Fosters, for now."

"Seriously? You're letting me go home?" I tear up a little bit, he nods, "Thank you." I don't want to say I'm never coming to live with him, if I do, he might change his mind, I have to play it safe.

"But, please, don't shut me out, give me a chance."

"Okay." He moves to hug me, and I don't stop him. Relationships go two ways.

"His name is Freddie, he's fifteen and his mother isn't around, he grew up with his gr- our grandma," I tell Jude, Callie and Mariana. Stef took Brandon to work and Lena took Jesus to a doctor's appointment, so it's just the four of us. I'm only supposed to have two visitors at a time, but the nurse turned a blind eye.

"Do you want to meet him? And your grandma?" Jude asks.

"I'm a little curious, but not if it makes it harder to keep Greg from fighting for me." I notice I haven't called him dad once, he's never been a father to me. Granted he didn't know I existed until recently, but he should have been responsible enough to not get Cordelia pregnant. How can he expect to be a father if he can't even do that?

"I think you should give them a chance, I gave my dad a chance and I got a great half-sister out of it. All our dad's still see us, and although Robert tried to keep me at first, he saw for himself that I really belong with the Fosters."

"Maybe if Greg saw you happy with all of us, he would see sense too," Mariana says.

"How would we make that happen?"

"Well, on Father's Day we had Donald round for dinner," Jude says.

"Seriously? I can't imagine Greg making nice with moms over some meatloaf."

"Give it a chance, I think it's a great idea. But start small, have Greg over one day and then you can return the favour by going to his for dinner and you can meet Freddie and your grandma."

"Would moms be cool with that?"

"I don't see why not, as long as you're still living with us and you're happy then I'm sure they'll be fine."

I still haven't got around to telling Stef and Lena about Taylor, but to be honest I've barely had time to even think about her given what's going on. Is it really worth making things complicated and getting into a couple? I don't even have my best friend anymore, I should probably figure out the Sophia stuff before I add a whole new relationship to my life.

Later on, Stef had to take the others home because she has to get to work and Lena's going to stay here with me tonight. At least I get to sleep in my own bed tomorrow.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I ask her.

"Sure honey, go ahead."

"Well, I don't wanna say who, because I don't think it'll work out, but there's a girl that I'm kind of seeing," She looks concerned, "Don't worry she's not a crazy stalker, she's a really nice girl from school. Anyway, I was supposed to go on a date with her, and obviously, I couldn't because all the stuff with Greg came up and I was at GU, and now I'm just wondering if it's worth it."

"Starting a relationship?" I nod, "Do you think there might be too much going on right now?"

"Yeah, especially because I've still got school too, and I'll have to fix things with Sophia."

"There's really no telling whether or not it'll work out at such an early stage, you're so young. Follow your heart, if you want to keep seeing her then go for it, but if you think you're not ready then end it." This is one of the things I love about Lena, she has the best advice.

"Right, follow my heart. Thanks, Lena." I hug her.

"For the record, you and Taylor make a cute couple," She leans back and smiles.

"How did you know it was Taylor?"

"I didn't, you just told me."

"Sneaky, I like it." Thanks to Lena's advice, I know exactly what to do.


	48. Chapter 48

When I get back to the Fosters' I feel better than ever, my head doesn't hurt and I'm so happy to back home. Callie makes the pasta that I like for dinner. Just as I finish up, the doorbell goes.

"I'll get it." I hop up and go to the front door, standing there is Taylor with a bunch of daisies.

"Hi," She's smiling in that cute way she always does, "I heard you like daisies." She hands them to me, I pull her inside and hug her, "How are you?"

"I'm fine, it was a mild concussion. Come on, let's go upstairs."

"Doors open please!" Stef shouts from the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," We sit down, "They're protective, I love it."

"So," She says.

"So, I think we should talk."

"Oh no, you don't like daisies?" She gets all flustered.

"No, it's not that I-"

"You don't like me?" She goes quiet.

"No, I mean yes I do like you, that's what I wanted to talk about. I was getting worried that it was too risky getting into this right now, there's so much going on," She looks sad, "But I was wrong, I really like spending time with you and I want us to keep doing that, but I want to take it slow."

"Oh, right okay. I thought you were going to break up with me, which would be weird because we're not officially dating, we haven't even been on a date and... I'm rambling, sorry."

"It's okay, and um, I want us to go on a date but it's just all so hectic right now so let's just say we'll keep hanging out like this and save our first date for when everything's a little less hectic."

"Okay, yeah that sounds good."

"And when we do hang out, we can still do this," I kiss her, "That good with you?"

"It's great with me." She kisses back. We're going to be just fine.

After Taylor leaves, I go back downstairs, and the other kids have just finished cleaning up, they all go upstairs.

"Oh, has Taylor gone love?" Stef asks.

"Yeah, um," I sit down with them, "So I've been thinking a lot about Greg, and I was talking to the others," I can't believe I actually want this, "Would it be okay if he came over for dinner one night? With just the three of us? I think if we all get to know him better and make an effort, he'll see that I'm right where I belong."

"I think that sounds fine, " Stef says.

"Are you sure? He hasn't exactly been pleasant." Lena adds.

"I know, but neither have I, neither of us gave the other a real chance to explain ourselves."

"If that's what you want, I guess we can work something out."

"What I want is for him to be out of my life, but right now it's not an option so I have to compromise."

"That's very mature Gracie. We'll call and ask him over tomorrow. You go upstairs and get some school work done. If you get your last two assignments done by the end of the week you'll be done," Lena says.

"I thought I had more than that?" I'm confused, I thought I worked everything out.

"I've kept up to date with your teachers and they all agree that you've improved a lot, you can finish your other assignments in your own time and turn them in at the start of next semester."

This is awesome, I'm so close to having the assignments done anyway, I can one of them in tomorrow and the other one on Tuesday and everything will be over with, maybe I'm doing better than even the teachers think. With a cup of coffee and the right mindset, I finish the first assignment and I only have a little more to do on the second one. While I'm still hyped from the coffee, I run into moms' room to tell them, they gush with pride. It feels so good to be appreciated for my hard work. In my old foster homes and group homes, if I told someone I finished an essay or an assignment or got a good grade on a test, I would be belittled or written off. Yet another reason that I love this family, they support me, and I know they always will no matter what. Before I go to bed, I decide to call Sophia, I have to fix this. She picks up straight away.

"Gracie, I'm so sorry for what I said, it was out of line and cruel and not true at all, I didn't mean any of it!"

"Soph, calm down, I'm not mad. I get it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, you were hurting because I wasn't there for you, I haven't been a good friend."

"Are you kidding? I'm the one who's been a bad friend. All I talk about is going on vacation or whatever I'm doing. I'm truly sorry."

"I forgive you, you're my best friend."

"I love you G."

Now all that's left to do is sort things out with Greg and I can finally get the life I've always dreamed of, it's so close.


	49. Chapter 49

I whizz through all my classes, trying to participate as much as possible. I like being good at school, you see kids who can do it effortlessly, but I like that I work for it. After my classes, I go to help Lena out in the office until the end of the day. I remember the first time I met her, this is what we did, she filled out paperwork and I staple stuff together. Back then I had no idea they would ever even consider fostering me, let alone adopting me.

Back home, Stef made all the others go out, so we can have the house to ourselves when Greg arrives. They wanted us to eat in the dining room, but I don't want it to feel too formal, so we set the table in the kitchen. I'm pretty nervous now, what if he starts a fight with them? Sooner than we expect, he's knocking at the door. I make Stef open it. I hear them greeting each other.

"Hi, Gracie," He seems nervous.

"Hi." He tries to hug me, but I offer a hand to shake.

"So, what's for dinner?" He asks as Lena pulls out a seat for him.

"Gracie made pasta."

"Oh, you cook?"

"Not really, my sister taught me this recipe." My goal for tonight is dropping subtle hints that I belong here.

"Oh right."

As the evening progresses, he tells me more about him and his upbringing. His parents were always wealthy, they've been in charge of a big law firm since they left college. His father died when Greg was twenty-three and left him a lot of money. But the money couldn't help him when he was wrongfully charged with rape. I still don't know why Cordelia lied, I'd like to know, but not enough to go and see her. He tells me about his childhood, it sounds like a good one. He went to good schools, had good friends, he played football and graduated with a 4.0 GPA.

"Enough about me. Tell me about yourself."

"My childhood? Well, the woman I thought was mom died when I was three, the man I thought was my dad was depressed and killed himself when I was seven. I was taken into foster care, went to a lot of emergency placements and a few group homes. I did bad in school, got bullied. I got beaten up a lot, got my stuff stolen, got kicked out of some of my homes. Uh let's see, I tried to kill myself a couple of times, the last time was an accident, but that got me moved to a special home, got kicked out of there for having a cell phone, got an emergency placement with a child molester called John, got placed with the Adams-Fosters, had to testify in court to get him sent to jail. Fell in love with John's daughter, she set up cameras to spy on me and leaked them on the internet, she went to juvie. Finally got adopted by a family I love, they love me too. And last but certainly not least, my birth father decided to waltz into my life and put me in a group home, taking me away from the one home I've ever felt safe in. Am I missing anything?" I look to my moms, they're in shock. Well, the subtlety is out the window.

"I'm sorry. I never meant for any of that to happen, you have to believe me."

"I know, that's not what I was trying to say. Sorry, it just makes me so mad."

"We don't have to rush into anything, more than anything I just want some kind of relationship with you." I feel awful for saying all of that, I didn't have to make him feel like crap. He just wants to know his daughter. Moms give me a minute alone with Greg to show him out.

"Sorry again, about what I said. It was way out of line."

"That's okay, I know you're angry with me."

"It was really nice getting to know you, and one day I'll tell you more about me, you know, the good stuff."

"I look forward to it, thank you for dinner, and thank moms again, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah." He goes to hug me and again I let him, this time I really notice the way he hugs me. It's tight like he doesn't want to let go. But he does, and he drives off in his Audi R8, it's not exactly a family car.

"Apart from my outburst, the dinner went well," I say on the phone to Sophia.

"Do you think he's going to stop trying to reverse your adoption?"

"I don't know, he really wants me. But I think slowly he's starting to see how good my life could be if I stayed here. Anyway, thanks for talking, I've gotta get to bed. It's my last day of summer school tomorrow. Night S."

"Goodnight G."

The next day at school, I'm bombarded at lunch. A teenage boy in a black hoodie pulls me away into the trees.

"Get off me!" I yank my arm away, "Who are you?"

"You're Gracie, right?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"I'm Freddie, your half-brother." I can't get a good look at him, but he has the same slight New York twang in his voice that Greg has, "Stay away from him, you'll only get hurt."

"You're my brother?" I yank his hood down, he looks a lot like me. But he's got a black eye.

"Stay away from Greg, you're better off with your family."

"Okay, if you're only telling me this because you don't want to share him you don't have to wor-"

"I'm not, I don't care about that. But apparently, you're my sister, so I'm trying to protect you," He starts walking off, "I'm telling you, stay away!" He starts running. I can't chase him, I have one last class to go to. He probably just doesn't want me walking into his life.

I turn in my last assignment at the end of the day and I walk home, mom's just getting into her car.

"Hey love, how was your last day?" She asks.

"It was good. Are you going to work?" I was hoping I could hang out with her, I have nothing to do with my day now.

"Yeah,"

"Do you take ride alongs?" She smiles at me.


	50. Chapter 50

It's so cool being a ride along, we pick up Brandon's dad and I have to sit in the back seat. I have to stay in the car and watch as they go and bust people, sometimes it's just pulling people over speeding and other times they go into people's houses and stop criminals, then I realised that someone would be getting in the car with us. This smelly old guy gets in next to me with handcuffs on.

"So, what are you in for, eh?" He says. He's got almost no teeth

"She's a ride along, no talking smackhead," Mike says. After that, the old guy shuts up. Mom escorts him into the police station. Mike makes small talk with me, asking about summer school and stuff, then he asks about my hobbies just like AJ did.

"Oh, that's right, AJ says he's got some books for you? He's been meaning to drop them around, but you know how teenage boys are

"Yeah, when they have a girlfriend."

"I was going for forgetful, but that works too." He laughs. I like him, he seems like a really good guy.

"So, what's it like being a cop?" I've never asked mom before, there's always something bigger going on, there's never time for chit-chat.

"Some days it's boring, some days it's near-death experiences."

"Seriously? Like guns and stuff?"

"Yeah, it can get pretty scary."

"Have you ever been shot?"

"I've been shot at, but I haven't been hit, I was there when Stef was hit, though."

"She was shot? Wow, you'd think she'd quit being a cop after that."

"She's a strong woman, she'd never let anything like that come between her and her passion."

"Is it worth it?"

"Yeah, it is. Knowing the area is safe when people like me and Stef are around is pretty great. You interested?"

"In being a cop? I don't know, it doesn't seem like me, and I don't think I could ever fire a gun. I don't want to either."

"So, what do you wanna do? When you grow up, I mean."

"I kind of like the idea of being a teacher, at a school like Anchor Beach. Most of the teachers there don't just try and get you to do you work on time and stuff, they actually care. I've never been to a school like that before."

"That's probably down to Lena. What would you teach?"

"English, or Social Studies." He gets distracted by the car radio going off.

"Disturbance on Seachase Street, Ashley Falls." It says.

"Stef, are you getting this?" Mike says.

"Coming now." I see mom running out of the police station into the car.

"Foster and Adams-Foster responding, we'll be there ASAP." Mike starts the car. He puts the sirens on and everything.

"Was it Seachase street? That's where Greg lives."

"You want us to drop you off?" Mom asks.

"Are you kidding? No, step on it, Mike!" I have to make sure he's okay, although I don't get on with him that well I would still be sad if something happened, after all, he is my flesh and blood father. We speed through the town until finally, we arrive at the scene, there's another cop car and an ambulance here, everything seems incredibly sinister. I try to open the door, but mom has locked it. "Let me out!"

"You're not going anywhere." She and Mike get out and run inside.

"I sit waiting anxiously for everyone to come out and be okay, but my ears are met with a piercing gunshot, and then menacing silence again.

"Ten minutes of fear-ridden anxiety later, mom and Mike come out, they're both fine, no bullet wounds, no tears. Following them is two cops, they have Greg handcuffed between them, he looks sad, but he hasn't been shot either. Do I rejoice? He's obviously done something awful. I watch as they force his head down and push him into their car. Then I see two paramedics walk out with Freddie, he's walking but not well. He's been hurt, but also not shot. They have him breathing into an oxygen mask, I'm far away but I can see that his face even more black and blue than it was earlier, and he's bleeding. It can't be what it looks like, he wouldn't hurt his son, Would he? An older woman follows Freddie and the paramedics into the ambulance, that drives right past me. Mom and Mike finally get back into the car, I watch the other cops drive away with Greg in the back seat.

"What happened?"

"We'll talk at home," Mom says.

"I heard the gunshot, mom, tell me."

"Gracie! We'll talk at home!" She yells, her voice becomes thick when she raises it. I hate seeing her mad, whatever happened must have really shocked her, and hurt her.

"Why can't you just tell me?" I shout back.

"I'm not discussing this in a cop car, alright?" She doesn't shout this time but she's still mad. I sit quietly the whole drive home, waiting for an explanation, but I know I won't like it.


	51. Chapter 51

"The butler was the one who reported it, apparently it started before he was even put in jail." Mom tells me, "The gunshot was Freddie's grandma trying to get them to stop, she didn't hit anyone, luckily."

"So, he's been abusing Freddie for most of his life, and only now he's been caught? That's so screwed up, what about Greg's mom? Didn't she say anything?"

"Freddie always told her it was just kids at school, she's old her memory's going. He's pleading guilty and he'll probably get a couple more years."

"What happens to Freddie now?"

"He's going to stay with his Grandma,"

"But you just said yourself, she's getting old, how can she take care of him?"

"He's appealing to become an emancipated minor, he's been raising himself for most of his life so it's looking good for him."

"That's so sad, he's just a kid," Callie sits with us at the table, "He needs a family."

"Well, he's got me," Before, I didn't want anything to do with him, but maybe we need each other, "Like you said, he needs a family."

"Are you sure you want to get caught up in this?" Mama says.

"I don't know, he is my brother. At least now that Greg's where he belongs, I can stay here, it just sucks that silver linings have to come from the darkest of clouds."

AJ and Mike come over with all of the books AJ promised me, there's a whole stack of them, crime novels, romance, thrillers, everything.

"Wow, when you said you had some books for me, I wasn't expecting this many," He helps me bring them up to my room and put them on the dresser, "Thanks, AJ."

"That's cool, I'll never read them, I'm more of a comic book guy, although," He picks up a book, "I have read this one. Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz."

"Is it good?"

"I can't remember, to be honest, I was like twelve or something, the movie's pretty good, though."

"Well, thanks again AJ, it means a lot." We go back downstairs for dinner, AJ and Mike are joining us.

"You alright after today Gracie? Can't have been easy."

"I'm okay, you know the more I think about it the less surprising it is. When Freddie came to see me at school, I-"

"He came to see you?" Mama says, "Why didn't you come and find me?"

"I'm sorry, I thought he was just being weird, he warned me off of Greg."

"If you had come and told me, maybe Freddie wouldn't be in the hospital right now with bruised ribs and a broken arm," Mama yells at me.

"Lena, calm down this is no one's fault but Greg's." Mom defends me.

The rest of dinner is a long awkward silence, with only the sounds of forks against plates breaking it. Mama's right, though, this is my fault. If I had gone straight to her when Freddie came to see me, he wouldn't be as badly hurt as he is now. Mama won't even look at me, she's so disappointed. I should have asked him how he got the black eye. I just keep making these dumb mistakes. When we're done, I go to my room to read one of AJ's old books, and Lena knocks on the door.

"Hey," She sits on the end of my bed, "Good book?" I nod, I don't want to say anything to make her even madder, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, it's not your fault."

"It is, you were right I should have brought him to you, I could have stopped it."

"You weren't to know, Greg had you fooled. He had us all fooled," I keep my eyes on my book, "Gracie," She takes it from me, "I promise you, it's not your fault."

"Are you sure? Everything that's happened lately is because of me."

"Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better."

"And then they get worse again, it's a vicious cycle."

"It will end, okay? Because you're an Adams-Foster, it might not be by blood, but strength runs in our family," She hugs me, "Now, put the book down, we're all gonna watch a movie before mom goes back to work."

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go to bed, but don't let me stop you."

"Alright, goodnight sweetie." She kisses me and goes back downstairs.

I'm tired but I can't get a minute of sleep. I can't stop thinking about Freddie, the second Greg got out of prison he must have been terrified. I wish I was there for him from the start, I could have helped somehow.

"Gracie?" I try to stay silent and act like I'm asleep, but Callie must have heard me crying, "Hey, what's up?" She turns the light on.

"I just, when I heard Greg came from money, I imagine my life would be so much different, better. I would have gone to a good school, got good grades, have good friends and family," She sits on my bed, "But now... now I'm wondering if it would have been any different at all. Yeah, I would have gone to a good school and all that, but there would still be someone I'd be afraid of, he would have hurt me, like he did to Freddie. And in turn I still would have been depressed, I'd probably be dead right now."

"Hey, don't think like that," Callie takes my hand, "It didn't work out that way, you're safe here."

"I know," I roll over to face her, "It's scary to think about, I mean at least I wouldn't have been going through it alone, but Freddie did. I just wish I was there for him."

"Don't worry about that now, he's going to be fine, he's obviously a strong kid."

"He shouldn't have to be."


	52. Chapter 52

The next day I go downstairs for breakfast and Stef's just getting in from work, it must still be pretty early.

"Hey, couldn't sleep?" She says.

"Something like that, how was work?"

"Ugh, boring, I'm gonna go get some sleep."

"Night mom," She kisses my head and heads upstairs. I go into the kitchen and Mariana is sat at the table with a bunch of robotic stuff, I push some stuff aside and sit down opposite her, "Hey, what's all this?"

"It's for robotics club," She yawns, "I have to figure out how to build and then code for two separately functioning arms that can lift a ninety-pound robot."

"But it's summer vacation? Why are you up so early?"

"Early? More like late."

"You've been up all night?"

"If I can figure this out before we go back to school then I can cut the workload in half and we can focus on other competitions too." She yawns again.

"Okay, are you on something?"

"No, I swear I'm not going back to that again."

"Back to it? Did you used to be like a tweaker or something?"

"Not a tweaker, I used to steal Jesus' ADHD meds. Got me in a lot of trouble, but I'd never do it now, it really screwed me up."

"Did you ever sleep?"

"When I needed to, Jesus has pills for that too, he doesn't take them now because he wrestles. You know, I'm gonna go to bed, there's no point working on this when I'm tired." She picks up her stuff and takes it away as she walks sluggishly to bed.

I'd never think Mariana would turn to drugs, even if they were Pharmaceutical. I get myself a bowl of cereal and eat it in front of the TV. Gradually the others all get up too, Jude sits with me and we play a few video games.

"You know, at Taylor's party?" He nods, "What you Noah were doing," I whisper, "Is that like a thing you do regularly?"

"I don't know, I guess."

"Do you do it for fun? Or like, something else?" I think about Mariana with Jesus' pills.

"I guess for fun, Noah gets it because of his anxiety, but he keeps some aside every now and then for fun. What?" He looks at me, "You wanna try it?"

"No, no, I was just wondering." I think if I tried it, I would probably end up having a panic attack like Sophia did, or just get anxious like Brandon did, I already have too much anxiety for that.

Later that day Mama comes home, and Mom wakes up from her sleep, I decide I should talk to them about what I should to about Freddie, we go into the study to talk.

"So, I was thinking I could round and see him, make sure he's okay?"

"I don't think we'd want you going alone," Mama says.

"Well yeah, I get that but how his he supposed to open up to me with a chaperone there?"

"What do we know about this kid? He could be dangerous," Mom laughs at the idea of someone related to me being somewhat normal.

"He approached you while you were alone at school Gracie,"

"But for all we know, he doesn't have anyone to talk to, his dad just got jailed and he's probably really confused right now! It's not easy to find someone who understands this kind of stuff," I beg, "Just give me like an hour to talk to him."

"Fine, he can come here, for one hour, you can talk out in the yard and if he says anything worrying you come straight to us. I'll call his house after dinner, set the table." Mom says, mama seems a little sceptical, but I think she knows that I wouldn't stop asking until they said yes.

The other kids and I set the table, Brandon's over for dinner again, it seems he's always over these days.

"How come you're hardly at Courtney's anymore?" I ask him as I hand him plates.

"Oh uh, she's at work a lot, and Mason's at his dad's, it's pretty lonely eating dinner alone," He seems a little touchy about, "Hand me the side plates."

"She works every night?" He blanks me, "Okay... Um so Callie, when do you finish school?"

"Next week, I'm almost caught up, then I get to go to Spain with the Quinn's."

"Oh, that's right, Gracie you wanted to go?" Mama asks.

"Not anymore, I'd rather stay here than be in a different country right now." We sit down to eat.

"You were so excited to go; did you fall out with her?"

"No, well yeah but we're fine now, I just don't wanna be away from my family."

"Awh!" Mariana puts her arm around me, "We don't want you away from us either, was she mad?"

"She was at first, but we're best friends, nothing can come between us, we've been through too much together."

"So, what are you gonna do this summer?" Jesus through his chewing.

"Ugh, don't talk with your mouth full you pig," Mariana says.

"Um, I don't know, I still have some school work to do before we go back, that's about it really."

"Are you guys still thinking about camping again?" Jude asks moms.

"Yeah, we've discussed it, you all wanna go?" Mama asks us.

"I'm down," Brandon says, we're all a little surprised, "What? I'm still part of the family, I wanna come on vacation."

"I'm bringing more bug spray this time, I came home with like a million bites," Mariana says, "I'm itchy just thinking about it."

"Not to mention the uncomfortable air beds," Jesus says.

"Yeah, are you sure you wanna come, Brandon?" Jude laughs.

"Nonsense, it'll be great fun," Mom says.

"So, it's settled, we'll go next week?"


	53. Chapter 53

"You like lemonade, right?" I bring Freddie a cold glass of Mariana's homemade lemonade, he nods, without the shade from the trees or the distance between us, I can see him a lot more clearly, "We have the same nose."

"Greg said we looked alike."

"You call him Greg?"

"So, do you," Fair point, "At the risk of sounding rude, why am I here?"

"I just thought, maybe you needed someone to talk to."

"Why?"

"Freddie, your dad just got five years for what he's been doing to you. It's not something you just shake off."

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"You're right, I'm sorry but, I don't need your pity." He practically slams his glass down and we're met with a short awkward silence.

"Um, so how's the emancipation going?"

"It's not, I can't afford it," He sees my expression, "What?"

"I've seen your house and your clothes, you have money."

"Greg cut me off, and grandma won't cough up, and she's getting sicker, if I don't manage to make some money before she kicks the bucket then I'm gonna be moved into a foster home."

"She's sick? Freddie, why didn't you say?"

"She's been dying for years now. Yeah, it's sad but she's a crazy old lady now, she'll be much happier when she's gone."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, not your fault."

"Why don't we have some kind of fundraiser, like a car wash or something?"

"That sounds great, but I don't really have the time for that. Thank you though, it's a kind offer. Listen, the lemonade and the sandwich were great, but I gotta get going."

"Okay, thanks for talking to me. I'm always here if you need someone." I give him a hug, and as I do, I feel the doubtful touch that I gave off when Greg hugged me, I didn't trust him, and I can tell Freddie feels sceptical about me, "Goodbye." I shut the door. I would feel sceptical if I were him, I understand.

"Hey, has Freddie gone?" Moms come downstairs, "Was everything alright?"

"Yeah, he just seemed a little cold."

"He's not going to warm up to you immediately, give it time sweetie."

"He can't afford his emancipation, he's going to end up in foster care." I take a seat next to Callie in the living room.

"I know it's sad honey, but there's nothing we can do." Mama sits next to me.

"I just wish I could try and help him like he did for me."

"Okay, troupes! Single file." Mom shouts early on a Saturday morning. I sluggishly trail behind my family down the stairs, mom had us all up at six AM.

"Why do we have to be up so early? It's summer." Jesus yawns causing the rest of us to as well.

"Are you back talking me, Cadet?" Mom gets up in his face, "There's a surprise out front." She breaks her commander character to smile at us. She opens the door to reveal a gigantic bus.

"You got an RV?" Jude says.

"Oh God, we're that family, aren't we?" Mariana's horribly embarrassed, so is Jude. But I think it's hilarious.

"Where did you get this?" I ask as I help load the luggage compartment.

"A guy at work wasn't using it, he owed me a favour."

"You couldn't get a Ferrari or something?" Jesus says.

We all pile into the huge RV. It doesn't take too long to get to the RV park, and the views are beautiful. We stop off on our way up to just take it in, Callie's got her big fancy camera too. We spend about a half hour sitting on the side of the road staring up at the sky, the sun is setting. It's beautiful, not like anything I've ever seen before. I love sunsets. And sunrises for that matter. No matter what happens, the sun always comes up the next day, I find comfort in something so reliable, even if it is a cliché.

"Okay, now watch this!" Mom keeps showing us all the cool things that the RV does, she pushes a switch on the inside and then makes us all go outside to watch. The whole left side of it slowly expands by a few feet.

"Ain't that somethin'." Jesus says.

"Come on, Jesus, get into the spirit a little," I nudge him, "Come on, show me how to build that fire you've been talking about.

Jesus' and I get started on the fire while Mariana starts unpacking and making her bunk as cosy and girly as possible, Callie and Jude go for a swim and the lake while Brandon and moms go fishing for dinner. I find myself enjoying everything way more than the others, they've all done this kind of thing before, a few times actually, but it's all new to me. The closest I've come to a vacation is when I was allowed to stay at Sophia's when there was a rat infestation at one of my group homes. Most of the other girls had to go back to Juvie or stay in other homes.

"Why do we even need a fire if we have a stove in the RV?" Jesus asks mom.

"It's part of the experience!" I say, "Come on, Jesus, you're not going to deprive me of having s'mores for the first time."

"You've never had s'mores?" Mariana comes out of the RV.

"No, I tried to recreate them using a cookie and an old marshmallow once, but I got in trouble for being in the kitchen after lights out."

"That happened to me once, except I was trying to make dinner for me and Jude because our foster dad wouldn't give us any." Callie laughs a little, laughing at things like that makes it easier to remember that it's in the past.

"Got it!" Mom yells, we all look back at her wrestle fish a gigantic fish as mama practically passes out from laughing so much, "Dinner is served!"

"I think I'll stick with my beans." Mariana squirms at thought of eating the fish.

"So, if he doesn't get five hundred dollars, he can't get emancipated?" Jude asks.

"Yeah, I said we could do a fundraiser, like a car wash, but he said he doesn't have time for that,"

"Not on his own, I'll help, I'll rope Noah in too and you get Taylor, Daria and Sophia to help."

"Can you imagine Daria washing a car?" I laugh at the thought of Daria doing anything for someone else.

"Well six is enough people, we could raise five hundred dollars easily."

"Really? You're up for it?" He nods, "Thanks, Jude."

After eating the fish that mom caught, I get to try my first s'more. It was kind of a big build up for an incredibly average snack, but I pretend I love it just to make Mariana happy. We spend the next couple of days going hikes, swimming in the lake and just sitting around and talking. It's nice to get to talk about happy things, funny things, things really are getting better, just like mama said. There's no shower on the RV so we have to go through the woods to the camp parks facilities, mom insists that we always go in partners but on the last night, Callie and Mariana were too exhausted from the hiking to get out of bed. So, I go by myself, I know the way now and it's not dark out, but when night falls, I know that the camp lights will be on to guide the path.

After my shower, I gather my stuff and head back to our camp. As I walk through the woods, I hear an unnerving snap, someone stepping on a twig or something.

"Hello?" I call out, I feel one of those stupid girls in movies who calls out to the monster just before it jumps out and eats her. Monsters aren't real, at least not the kind of monsters in the movies. There's no reply. I ignore it and keep walking, then I hear another snap, then another silence and suddenly I hear someone's footsteps. I can't tell what direction it's coming from. Without warning, my body is met with great force and I'm pushed to the ground face first.


	54. Chapter 54

Before I can scream a hand covers my mouth, my arms are forced underneath my body, so I can't move them. Someone is sat on top of me, I can't breathe. The panic builds inside of me and with the short breaths, I take, moans of fear and agony escape. The person covers my eyes and mouth with dirty rags and ties my legs together tightly, and then my arms are brought around to my back and are tied together too. One arm and one leg are grabbed, and I'm flipped over, sat up and being pushed up against a tree. I try to shout through the rag, but it's no use, it's too tight. I feel more rope being wrapped around me and I'm getting tied to the tree.

"I didn't make you fall in love with me," I hear, "It was the other way around." I can't believe this, it can't be happening, it just can't. The rope is tightened, "All I did was try to protect you," I hear the swish of a pocket knife being opened, "I wanted to show you how cruel people can be, but you still don't get it," I sob through the rags, her hand grabs my throat. How could Rachel do this to me? "If you shut up, I'll take the rags off your face," My cries stop, "Nod if you understand!" She yells, I quickly nod, and she unties the rags, I see her.

"How did you get out?" I try to stay calm, I can't aggravate her.

"Good behaviour, ironic isn't it? It was a struggle getting the ankle locator off, but desperate times, right?" She smiles in the sickest way as she twiddles with her knife

"Look, you can just let me go and I won't say anything."

"Let you go?" She starts cackling at me, "No, I told you, I'm going to show you how cruel people can be." She starts rolling up the left leg of my pants, the circulation is cutting off, I can't fight back, and my throat is so dry I can barely make a sound. She gently presses the blade against my leg, then after a moment of piercing eye contact, she presses down hard and draws blood. A small squeak leaves my lips. I'm done for.

"Please don't," I say in a tremulous voice.

"I'm doing this for you! The sooner you understand this, the sooner we can go back to normal!" She uses her knife to cut through the fabric of my leggings, and drives the knife into my right thigh, making sure to twist. I try to scream but nothing comes out, it's too unbearable, "Stop squirming!" I look up at her, "You're only going to make it worse." As she's about to dig the knife in one more time, I hear her phone ringing. She gets up and takes a step back to answer it, making sure to be far away enough so I can't hear her. Who could she possibly be talking to that isn't trying to catch her? How did she even follow us up here?

I search desperately for something that'll save me, I see rocks and broken twigs, then I look to my feet and see Rachel's pocket knife. I use the only strength I can muster up to drag closer to me with feet. I kick behind my back and grab it. I twist my arms to get them into a position where I can slice through the thick rope, as quietly as I can I cut the rope around my feet and my body and try to get up. My leg is so weak that all I feel is the pain, spreading through my whole body. My adrenaline kicks in and I manage to scramble to my feet and I make a break for it. I only have a few seconds before she starts chasing me, so I call out for my moms, for Callie, all of them. Then I just start shouting for help. I'm so disoriented that I don't know what direction I'm going in. But I just have to get as far away as possible.

"Gracie?" Brandon calls out. To my right, I see the glow of flashlights pointed at me.

"I'm here!" I shout back, but I keep running, she's only a few feet behind me.

The lights and the calls get closer, but so does Rachel. I come to a ledge and I have to stop, I can't scale a cliff face. I take a few steps back and turn around, Rachel comes at me and tackles me to the ground, I manage to try and fight her off a little bit, but she's strong, and she's strong-willed, she's not giving up. She pulls the knife from my hand and holds it above my face.

"Get off her!" Brandon yells, I look over to him and see the whole family sprinting towards us. Brandon comes charging at her and jumps right on her, knocking her out of her superior position. He pins her to the ground, moms run to me and help me up. Then we hear the whack of a fist against bone, Brandon's hitting her.

"Stop!" Callie and Jesus yank Brandon away from her, "She's not worth it." Rachel scrambles to her feet and backs towards the edge of the cliff.

"Rachel don't!" I yell.

"Stay back, Gracie." Mom steps in front of me and slowly approaches her.

"Don't come closer," She says, mom stops, "I'll do it."

"You don't have to, you can get help."

"I don't want help, I want her." She points her knife of me.

"You can't have her, listen. Put the knife down, get away from the edge and come with me." Mom reaches her hand out.

"No, it's her or it's that." She looks down to the ground at the bottom of the cliff.

"Please, don't do it. I don't want you dead." I say through my tears.

"Then take me back. Take me as I am." She says viciously.

"I can't, it won't work. But it doesn't mean you have to end your life," I get out of mamas grasp and walk towards her, "You can have a future if you want one."

"Not with you, I don't want a future if it's not with you."

"We can't have it all. That's not how life works, you can't give ultimatums like that. You can be happy without me."

"I can't," She shakes her head, "I can't, I CAN'T!" She screams out, she begins to cry. I don't know how to feel. "My life isn't worth living if I don't have you, don't lie to me and say it is. Don't you think I know what kind of person I am? Look at what my dad did."

"You're not your dad,"

"You were supposed to make me better. That's what you do, you make me better!" She looks confused for a second, "Why are you making me feel worse? You're making me crazy! Fix me!" She takes another step towards the edge.

"I can't fix you, okay? But someone can, I promise."

"You can't promise that. No one can." She sounds monotonous. She turns to look down. Then in a blink of an eye, she does the unimaginable, she jumps.


	55. Chapter 55

"When you were dating her, did she show any signs of psychosis? Did she talk about killing herself? Did she try to contact you while she was in juvenile detention?"

"Okay, that's enough questions for today," Mom says.

"We have no information, she needs to talk."

"She's in shock, she won't be talking to you for a while." A nurse says, she ushers the policemen out of my room.

"Gracie, can I get you anything?" Mom asks. I can't talk, I can't do anything but lie here.

"I think she probably just wants some space." The nurse says to her and mama. They're reluctant but the nurse gets them out of the room and leaves me alone.

I haven't known what to say or what to do since it happened. For one thing, I can't walk, my legs are so badly cut up. Moms have been trying to get me to talk since last night, none of us slept. I can't imagine what the others are feeling, they're back at home, Brandon drove the RV home while moms rode with me in the ambulance to the hospital. From the moment she jumped off of that cliff, I've felt so confused and sad, I can't tell if I'm sad because I'm confused or if I'm confused because I'm sad. I shouldn't be sad, she ruined my life, but the feeling won't go away.

All I want to do is go home to my own bed the doctor won't let me leave, it's because I'm not talking. What the hell am I supposed to say when something like this happens? I know if I just talk to my moms or a nurse or anyone I'll get out of here. But I open my mouth to say something and nothing comes out. I've had all different kind of doctors in and out of here all week, but they can't help me. I don't know who can. I know that it's a case of no one being able to help me unless I make the effort, but I'm not ready to be helped. I just need to think. My thoughts haven't been clear, my brain feels like a filing cabinet them someone has rearranged to confuse me. Rachel's rearranged it.

I try to think back to when we were camping when I was happier, but the whole thing feels fake. It feels like I wasn't being me, purely because I was happy. The universe is trying to tell me that I'm not supposed to be happy, I'm supposed to be the sad, vulnerable little girl I always was.

"Gracie?" Moms quietly come into my room one morning, "We've explained to the doctors that we're far away from home,"

"We asked if we could take you back to our house but they're still not certain you're stable enough," They sit on my bed, "They've agreed to have you moved to a facility closer to home." They stay quiet for a moment, hoping for an answer. But I've got nothing, "You don't have to be scared, it's a relaxed environment, it's just somewhere that you can be safe." They're having me put in a mental institution, I can't say I'm surprised. I'm not mad, what else are they supposed to do with me?

So, I spend one last night in the hospital and the next morning I'm taken in a wheelchair to a bus, moms ride with me. It's a long silent drive, everything's a long silence now, at least for me. We arrive at a big building, it's old looking and it stands alone at the end of a road, surrounded by green fields and tall trees. It's supposed to look calm and serene, but the big metal door looks cold and rejecting, the bars on the windows say the same thing. I'm taken through winding corridors that smell like old oak to my new room. The walls are painted yellow, the most cliché colour to symbolise happiness. Instead of a typical hospital bed, there's a normal, wooden single bed against the windows.

"Can we have a minute with her?" Mom asks my new nurse. She nods her head and leaves, closing the door behind her, "This isn't forever, you're just here to figure out what's going on in your head. I know we can't fully understand what you're going through, someone here can help you with that. But you have to put the effort in too."

"And we'll be here to see you as much as we can, and hopefully we can have you back home as soon as possible and we can start to move on. We're not doing this to punish you, we want to help you, but there's only so much we can do before taking a step back and leaving it in the hands of professionals." I know what they want me to say, they want me to say it's okay and tell them I don't blame them, both of those things are true, but the words won't form. I only hope they understand that.

"We love you, sweetie, we'll check in on you tomorrow." With good timing, the nurse comes back in. I turn my wheelchair to face the window away from them.

"She can't be locked in, she panics," Mom says.

"And she hates green beans and she's allergic to oranges," Mama adds, she sounds like she's crying. I wish I could run to her and tell her I'm fine, but I can't, I'm not in control. I turn back to them.

"Goodbye, love." Mom says. They walk hand in hand down the hallway.


	56. Chapter 56

I've barely moved all week, sometimes I'm in my bed, sometimes I'm my wheelchair by the window. Today I'm sat staring out at the trees. Nurses come in and out, they come to change the dressing on my stab wound or sometimes they come just to check on me and ask me if I'm okay. Of course, I'm not okay. Moms come to see me at the weekend, they sit with me for a few hours, they tried to talk at first, but they gave up.

One day, my new doctor comes into my room. Regardless of the fact that all of our conversations so far have been one-sided, I do like him. He's not the kind of doctor I usually see, he doesn't wear a shirt and white coat, he wears jeans and a cable knit sweater. He has hipster glasses that sit on the end of his nose, he never looks through them. I think he wears them because they make him look clever. As he walks in and sits down on the armchair next to me, he carries a white paper bag that rattles when he moves.

"This is your new prescription," He tells me opens the bag and pulls our four pill bottles, one by one, "These will help you sleep, these are anti-depressants, these are for your anxiety and these," He looks at the last bottle, "These are going to help you be more honest." I look at him, how can a drug make me do that? "We've talked a couple times in the week you've been here, well I've talked, but I don't know if you've listened. Patients here aren't supposed to have visitors other than parents until the third week, but I think you need it," I look to him, "Your sister is coming in," The door knocks, "That'll be her." He gets up and opens the door, but I don't look. I stare at the trees as they lean away from the wind.

"Hi." I hear Callie say.

"Callie, right? I'm Dr Hastings, it's a pleasure to meet you," I feel her hand touch my shoulder and she comes and sits next to me, "You guys talk, I'll be right back." He doesn't close the door, I'm almost certain he hasn't left at all. Callie stares at me, so I stare back.

"We miss you, the house feels empty," She waits for a response, "Brandon's back home. He said it didn't feel right being away from all of us, he said families should be together as much as they can," She's trying to get me to say I'll be home as soon as I can, "What's it like here?" I think a one-word answer would be enough for her to know I'm still in here, but I don't know if I am. Callie sniffles and quickly wipes tears away from her face, she forces a smile. "I brought you some of your stuff," She unzips her backpack, "You were reading this right?" She pulls out the book that AJ gave me and sets it down on the table, "And this is the shirt I gave you," She holds the maroon panda shirt that I wore the first night I stayed at the Fosters, she folds it carefully as if it's delicate. I see her glance over to the door, confirming my thought of Dr Hastings watching us, "And this is the blanket that Mariana gave you." She talks as if I've forgotten, how could I forget anything that happens at home, it's so beautiful even if sometimes it is tragic. She lays the blanket over my cold legs and immediately I feel a flood of relaxation take over me. I touch the soft fabric, reminded of the nights I actually managed to sleep. "I just wanted to make sure you don't forget that you do have a home, and it's full of people who love you. I know that places like this can make you feel like you're never gonna get out. But you are." She touches my hand, waits another moment for a response and then walks out. She waits for a second by the door and talks to Dr Hastings.

"That's the most responsive she's ever been." He says.

"Responsive? She didn't say a word."

"She made eye contact, and her reaction when you gave her the blanket, it was enough for now."

"When will she talk to someone?"

"In her own time, thank you for coming, Callie."

"Thanks for letting me." I hear her walk away.

I sit by the window for the rest of the day, trying to tidy my mind but it's like when you try to remember something, and things keep distracting you, old memories. Usually, they're good memories. Not for me, I see Rachel jumping, I see her digging the knife into my leg, I see her face when she was in juvie, but I don't just see her, I feel her presence. The scariest memories are the ones of John, I feel his presence too, but the worst part is that sometimes I can't tell apart his presence and Rachels. They both hurt me in different ways, but it's almost like they were trying to make me feel the same way, and I can't figure out what that feeling is.

"Gracie?" My shoulder is tapped one morning, it's the nurse, "You have another visitor." She says softly, her voice says, 'I'm sweet and welcoming', but her nurse uniform says, 'You're crazy'.

"Hi," I feel my bed tilt slightly, but I stay still, staring at the wall, "Your moms told me what happened with that girl." It's Freddie, "That sucks," Understatement, "They told me everything actually, I hope that's okay," He takes a breath, "I've been a place like this before, it was pretty scary. But I got better, not completely, but I got out." I roll onto my back, and I look at him, "I can't stay, but I just wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you're okay, but now I realise that you're not okay, and that's fine. I understand. But you will be." He squeezes my hand before leaving.

"Your brother seems to care about you a lot," Dr Hastings says, he was watching me again, "And you care about him too?" I've known him for a few weeks, but yes, I do care about him, "I want to try something," I sit up, ready to let him do all his psychobabble crap, "No, lie down, take this," He hands me a pen and sits down in his usual armchair, "Now," He slips a notepad under my right hand, "Close your eyes, and do your best to empty your mind, I know it's hard but just try," I obey, "Let your hand connect with your head, and write something," I feel my hand start to scribble something, "Good, now that's a feeling," He moves my hand down, "Now write why you think that feeling is invalid," My hand hovers, "It doesn't have to be one word, it could be a phrase," I scribble again, "Write why it's valid, then why you think it's invalid, then one more reason you think it's valid." My hand starts writing away rapidly until it comes to an abrupt stop. "Open your eyes."

As my eyes become unstuck, tears fall down my cheeks. I feel overwhelmed with emotion, sadness, fear, even heartbreak. A simple three-minute mind exercise has messed my head up more, but somehow, it's better because now I know where things are, I can start to organize the mess.

"Do you know what you wrote?" I sit up and look down at the notepad, "For your feeling, you wrote guilt," I've scribbled like a child, "So you feel guilty?" I nod, "You wrote 'not my fault', then you wrote a name," He looks up at me over his pretentious glasses, "Rachel." I squirm at her name, "The girl who hurt you, right?" I nod, trying to stop the tears, "John." He says, and the walls I've built around me come crashing down, every brick hits me before they fall to the floor, "Tell me what you're feeling right now." He leans forward, he knows he's got to me.

"Wrong," I whisper in a thin voice, "I feel wrong."

"Good," I look at him, how is this good? How is anything good? "Why do you feel wrong?" I turn away from him and pull the sheets up to my shoulders. Dr Hastings takes the hint and walks out.


	57. Chapter 57

A week after what happened with Dr Hastings, I try to decide I want to get better, but it's not that simple. It's not that I haven't been trying, I just feel like maybe I can try harder. I want to get better for myself, but I lack the motivation. So, I have to get better for my family. I sit up and look out the window, I would give my right arm just to go for a walk, but my legs are still in a lot of pain. I look down at the scars that are forming underneath my hospital gown.

"That's a pretty cool scar," A voice comes from the doorway, "I have one too," The voice moves, then in front of me, sits my nurse, she rolls up her scrubs, "Shark bite," She says, "I'm kidding, I fell off my bike when I was a kid. But that's the thing about scars, they're there forever, chapters in our lives," She looks at my scars, "Your story's pretty long," She stares at my skin, but not in a judgmental way, "Nothing to say? You've been talking a lot more if it is only a couple of words here and there. You know, most books have a prologue."

"You think, my life so far is a prologue?" That's probably the most words I've used at once in my time here.

"I'm just a nurse," She gets up, "Pills, now." She watches me as I take each pill one by one and wash them down with water, she has to check my mouth and make sure I've swallowed them. They like to think that they trust the patients here just because they don't lock doors and we don't do housework, but I don't feel trusted, "Your mom's here." She says as she leaves.

I try to figure out what she meant about the scars being chapters in a book, as I look down at the faded scars on my arms, I start to figure it out. Those things don't affect me anymore, all those times I used to cut myself are in the past, they're gone now, but the newer scars, they have had and still do have an impact on me. What she meant is that the things in my past don't matter now, and someday, everything that's happening right now will be in the past too. Maybe she is right, maybe my life is a prologue and I have a future away from all the crap, I'll be happy.

Mom knocks on the door, "How are you?"

"Okay." She wasn't expecting me to answer.

"Oh, honey," She sits next to me and puts her arm around me, I rest my head on her shoulder and I cry, "I'm here now." It feels... good, just letting myself cry and process everything, "Mama couldn't make it today, she had to work. But she sends her love, all the kids do. We want you home."

"I want to come home too," I say quietly.

"But not like this, okay? You'll get better here and then we can take you home." I nod.

"I'm getting there."

"I know, I know," She hugs me closer and cries along with me, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I need you... I need you to thank Brandon for me... for what he did for me."

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" I look up at her in confusion, then she looks out at the door. They're all here. I burst into tears, Brandon runs to me and hugs me.

"Thank you, if you hadn't stopped her, I might not still be here." I wail.

"Don't talk like that," He says.

"You would have taken her," Jesus says, I hug him too.

"Don't crowd her kids," Mom says.

"It's okay." I hug the others and they all sit down around my room, they kind of look at me weirdly, I know it's just because they're worried.

They catch me up on the last few weeks, what they've been up to. Callie went to Spain with the Quinn's, she tried to act like it wasn't that good, but I know she's just doing it, so I don't feel left out. It's a sweet thought, Mariana's getting a lot of work done on the robot, Jesus is wrestling on weekends, Jude's with Noah all the time and Brandon has moved back in."

"You don't mind, do you? I mean, I just felt like I needed to be at home, you know? But we're getting another bed, so no one will have to sleep on the camp bed anymore."

"It's fine. I'm glad you're back."

"Freddie's been over a few times, asking about you," Mom says, "He's uh, he's been taken into foster care,"

"What?"

"His grandmother died last night," My heart hurts for him, "He's still trying to get emancipated but he's completely broke, he's not even written into her will. I think he's alright, though, he's in emergency care, living with a few other boys. I've checked in on him a few times." It's not fair, the best of people always end up with the worse things happening to them.

"Thank you, mom."

"Okay Fosters, say goodbye to your sister, she's got an appointment with Dr Hastings." The nurse says.


	58. Chapter 58

After saying goodbye to everyone, I start getting myself into my wheelchair, "Don't you think you've been in that chair enough? Try these," She brings me a pair of crutches that have been propped up in the corner, "Don't look at me like that, you can't stay sat down forever."

"Fine." I let her help me stand up. It hurts, a lot. My legs shake like jelly as I try to steady myself. She positions the crutches under my arms.

"See," She let's go of me, "Now you're getting it." I want so badly to flop down on my bed and give up, that's how much it hurts. But I can't give up. She keeps a few centimetres away from me as we walk down the halls. "You need more painkillers?" I nod, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the little brown bottle, I swallow them so fast, hoping they'll start to work immediately. It feels like years, but we finally get to Dr Hastings office.

"Ah, Gracie, good to see you walking. How are your legs?" I sit down opposite him

"Shaky."

"I can imagine, you'll get the hang of it. So, your brothers and sisters came to see you today. How was that?"

"Fine," He raises his eyebrows at me, "Good, I guess."

"Did you talk to them?"

"A little bit, but I don't know what to say."

"They know it's hard for you, have you been thinking about the exercise we did last week? I know that was difficult for you."

"It's all I can think about. I don't want him, or her in my head anymore."

"When you think of them, do you feel weak? Defenceless?"

"Yes."

"Next time you think about either of them, use those thoughts as fuel, make them the reason that you succeed," He leans forward, "Show them how strong you really are... because you are."

"Everyone keeps saying that, they keep telling me I'm strong and that'll be okay, but they don't know. You don't know, it's not getting better and I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that it ever will."

"You think you're not getting better? That's funny because this time a week ago you weren't talking. Gracie, the reason I believe so strongly that you'll get through this is that I can see it, in your eyes, in your face, you want to get better, and you know you deserve to. Am I wrong?"

"No."

"No, I'm not. Now, can you start to trust me?"

"Who said I didn't trust you?"

"You did, just not in so many words."

"Yes. I trust you."

We spend the hour talking more, we talk a lot about John, and how he made me feel. He says that what happened with Rachel was a trigger for me. He helped me find my triggers, so I know what to work on or what to avoid. I meet with Dr Hastings every day at the same time, walking gets a little less painful, he suggests I start getting out of my room more often. He arranges for me to go on walks around the building with my nurse. The fresh air feels great. I'm allowed grounds privileges without supervision, but it's not really that fun on my own, I suppose nothing can be fun in a mental hospital. Freddie comes to see me one evening, he seems different.

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good, better, thanks."

"You're talking, that's good."

"It took some time, but baby steps," I manage to smile, "You wanna take a walk?"

"Sure, uh, here," He helps me up, "So how long do you have to keep using these?" We make our way outside.

"I don't know, not long hopefully. It's still kind of painful, so, how are you? Mom told me about your grandma."

"As I said before, she's been dying for years. She's in a better place now."

"What about you, though? You're in foster care now, I know what it can be like."

"It's not so bad, it's just a temporary placement until they find a group home or something, but I got a job, so I can start saving the money for emancipation, then I just need to go and get Greg's signature." We walk slowly on the pebbled path.

"You would go and see him?"

"I have to, it's my only option."

"You don't have any friends or other family members you can stay with?"

"Nope, no friends, you and I are the last of our family that aren't dead or in prison. Big shoes to fill." He laughs.

"I'm sorry, all of this happened because of me."

"No, it didn't, regardless of whether or not Greg tried to get you back, he would have kept hitting me anyway, he would have gone to jail, Gram would have died. If anything you're making things a little easier. I thought when Gram died, I would be all alone, I didn't think I'd find a friend let alone a sister."

"I feel the same. I'm really grateful to have found you. So, where are you working?"

"Actually, your sister got me a job at the diner she works at, I start tomorrow."

"That's great, but it'll take a really long time to raise all that money, isn't there some other way we can do it?"

"You don't have to worry about me, just take care of yourself okay?"


	59. Chapter 59

"Okay, time's up for today," Dr Hastings says, "You've come a long way in the past two months." He closes his writing pad.

"Wow, has it really been that long?"

"Feels longer?"

"Shorter, actually. I'll probably feel differently by the time I get out of here."

"I don't think so, you're ready to go home," He smiles, "Aren't you excited?" I'm stunned.

"No, I mean yes I am. I just wasn't expecting it. I really get to go home?"

"Yep, your appetite's back, you're responding well to your medication, you're opening up, everything's looking pretty good."

"So, when?"

"One of your moms is coming to pick you up after dinner," This unbelievable, all my hard work here has finally paid off. I get to go back to my family, "Congratulations, Gracie." He gets up to shake my hand. I push it aside and hug him.

"Thank you, Dr Hastings. For everything you've done for me." He sees me out.

I still have to use my crutches, my leg doesn't hurt anymore but the whole bottom half is completely numb, but I make my way back to my room to pack up my things. I feel happy, extremely happy, I haven't felt this was in such a long time. I make sure to say thank you to all the nurses on this floor, I even thank the receptionist. When I first got here, this place felt like a prison, but as I started to get used to it, it became my safe place. No one can hurt me in here, and now that I'm getting out, I'm strong enough that no one will hurt me out there. I might be leaving but I'm taking more than just my clothes and some pills, I'm taking an experience. Mama comes knocking on my door, I limp over to hug her. Neither of us can stop smiling.

"The new bed arrived last week, and it's set up in the corner opposite the bathroom."

"What about Mariana's vanity?"

"She barely used it, we sold it to pay for the bed. The whole room looks so different now."

"I can't wait to sleep in my own room again, what's for dinner?" Mama helps me pack up my clothes.

"We can either go out for dinner, or you can choose which take out we get."

"Either's fine, I'm dying for something greasy, all the food here is so-"

"Healthy?"

"I was gonna say bland." I laugh.

"It's so good seeing you this happy," She stops folding to hug me, "I can't wait to have you back home."

"It's good being this happy."

"Gracie!" Mariana squeals as I walk through the door on my crutches, "We missed you!"

"I missed you guys too! Where is everyone?" I look around, the house is empty, "Do I smell marshmallows?"

"Come on, the kids have a surprise for you." Mama and Mariana help me get outside, they cover my eyes, so I don't see anything.

"Surprise!" As they move their hands from my eyes I look ahead and see the whole family sitting around a little campfire all wrapped in sleeping bags making s'mores.

"We never got to finish our camping trip," Jude says.

"So, we recreated it!" Jesus helps me sit down and hands me a sleeping bag.

"Awh, you guys this is so sweet," I curl up by the fire and start roasting marshmallows with everyone, "Thank you." Callie whips out her guitar and starts playing for us, Mariana sings and Brandon drums on his seat. We talk, we laugh, we sing campfire songs.

Eventually, it's time to get cleaned up for dinner, I've picked a restaurant in town for us to go too, it's more of a pizzeria. Oh, and I got my phone back, I have missed calls from some random number, I'll call back tomorrow. Tonight is about me and my family. The number continues to call me throughout dinner, though.

"Who is that?" Mom looks at my phone.

"I don't know, when I turned it on, I had a bunch of missed calls, should I answer it?"

"Put it on speaker," Mariana says.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is James Peterson, do you remember me?" I take him off speaker phone and go into the bathroom for some privacy, Callie follows me.

"You work for the judge, right? Why are you calling me?"

"I also worked closely with your grandmother before she passed away,"

"What does he want?" Callie whispers.

"Shh! Um, I'm sorry I still don't understand why you're calling. Is this about Freddie?"

"It's about you, it seems when she wrote him out of her will, she turned everything over to you."

"Gracie, what's he saying?"

"I'm sorry, everything?"

"The property has already been sold, but everything else, her money, family heirlooms, Gracie? Are you there?" I'm too shocked to move, Callie takes the phone and puts it on speaker phone.

"Hi, this is Callie."

"Ah, hello Callie, I was just telling your sister she should be very happy."

"Why's that?"

"She's just become very, very wealthy. Her grandmother left her a large sum of money. Oh, I have to go, congratulations again to Gracie." Callie hangs up.

"Gracie, you're rich."


	60. Chapter 60

Callie and I go back to the table and try to act as calm as possible, but I'm freaking out, this makes zero sense. Why would she leave her money and everything to me? I've never even met her. I know I can't keep it, I would feel too guilty.

"What did he want?" Mom asks.

"Um, he wanted to tell me about my inheritance."

"Inheritance? From Freddie's grandma?"

"Well, I guess she's my grandma too, she wrote him out of her will and replaced him with me. I'll pay for dinner but I'm not keeping the rest, Freddie needs it more than I do."

"I think you should spend it," Mariana says.

"Are you kidding? No, she should invest it!" Jesus argues.

"I think you should take us Italy," Jude says, "They have better pizza there."

"Will you guys stop? I'm giving it to Freddie and that's that, can we just eat please?"

The second we get out of the restaurant I dial Freddie's number, he'll be so happy. The phone rings out a couple times but finally, he picks up.

"Freddie, I-"

"Gracie? Ah- I can't talk right now," He sounds distressed, "I'll call you back,"

"Who are you talking to?" I hear another voice.

"Freddie?"

"I'll call you back." He hangs up. Something's wrong, really wrong.

"Is everything okay?" I get into mom's car with everyone else.

"No. Mom, you said you checked in on him, right? Can you take me? I think something might be wrong."

"What do you mean, sweetie?" Mama says.

"We don't have time for this! He sounded like he was being hurt, please, just drive," She starts the car, "He was screaming, when you went to his foster home, did he seem okay?"

"He seemed fine, but we all know that the system can seem one way when it's actually another. Don't worry, we're not far, but you stay in the car. All of you." She speeds through the city until we get to 'the bad part' of town, I've stayed in plenty of foster homes around here, none of them good.

"God, I should have known he wouldn't be okay, the only good foster home I've stayed in is ours."

"Stay here." Moms get out of the car, mama seems kind of scared, but mom starts acting all cop-like.

"What exactly did he say?" Callie says.

"He just said he couldn't talk, and he'll call me back, I couldn't get a word in. He sounded like he really needed help." My leg won't stop shaking, the other one is still completely numb.

"Hey, moms are in there right now, they've got this." Brandon tries to steady my leg.

"No, you know what, I'm going in there." I get out of the car.

"Gracie, stop," Brandon follows me, out of nowhere a cop car comes rushing down the street and stops a few feet behind mom's car, two cops get out with their guns in their hands.

"You live here?" The man asks.

"No, we-"

"Then get out of here now," He says, Brandon pulls me back, "NOW!"

"What the hell is going on?" Jesus yells as Brandon practically throws me in the car.

"Brandon, our mothers are in there, we have to go in there!"

"You don't have to do anything, mom's a cop and there are two others going in right now, stop trying to save everyone!" He slams the car door and gets in the front seat.

We all watch the house patiently, it feels very reminiscent of when I was mom and Mikes ride along. Our heads all jolt backward as we hear another vehicle coming up the street, it's a riot van, two more cops run inside.

"What the hell? Brandon, come on we've been sat here for ten minutes."

"You're hurt, me and Jesus will go."

"We will?" Jesus questions, "Uh yeah, we will."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Callie asks them.

"No," Brandon says, but he gets out of the car anyway, Jesus follows. Then suddenly the cops burst out of the front door of the house, each of them has a teenage boy handcuffed, they practically have to drag them, they put them in the back of the riot van. We watch Brandon and Jesus talk to the cops, and they get sent back to our car.

"What did they say? Why haven't moms come out yet?"

"They're inside talking down Freddie's foster mother," The riot van drives off, and so do the cops. Then an ambulance comes down the street too, but no sirens.

"Where's Freddie?"

"He's in there too, I guess, they wouldn't say much." I get out of the car and try to get inside as fast as I can, speed is not easy with these crutches. The others shout after me but ultimately, they don't stop me.

"Hello?" The front door is open.

"Gracie?" Mom comes out into the hall, "I told you to wait in the car," She folds her arms, "Go back, we won't be long."

"No, I want to see Freddie," She tries to hold me back, but even with crutches I push past her, "Freddie?"

"Gracie, no!" Mom yells. I go around the corner and Mama is there comforting a woman, it must be Freddie's foster mom. She's crying.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" I ask the woman.

"I tried to stop them, but they turned on me!" She's sobbing violently. What the hell is going on?

"Officer Adams-Foster?" A voice says. I turn around and there are two paramedics walking in with a stretcher.

"Gracie, come on, let's go," Mama leads me outside, "Mom will be right out."

"What's happening? How bad is he hurt?" She leads me away from the house.

"Come on, sweetie get in the car," She opens the door for me, as I get in, I look back at the house, the two paramedics come out, "Don't look at that." Mama starts to cry.

"What is that?" They're holding the stretcher, "No. No, no, no."


	61. Chapter 61

Freddie died from internal bleeding in his brain, it had started from the last time Greg hurt him. The doctors didn't see it because it was so insignificant at first, then his foster brothers kicked him down and beat the crap out of him and that caused it to get worse. He died the same way he lived, being hurt. They're in juvie now. It was a privatized home, something that Callie has been working hard to demolish.

We had a funeral for him, it was just us, he said himself that we were the last in our family, and he didn't have any friends. I read a poem, I wrote it actually, but I just told the others I found it online. I wish I had called him sooner, but as I've learned recently, there's no point dwelling on things in the past. But I won't forget him, I won't forget any of it.

"That was beautiful, what you said," Mama says, "He would have loved it." She kisses my head as we all get in the front door.

"Thank you. I'm gonna get changed into something a little more comfortable." The other kids and I all put our pyjamas on, then we sit around the kitchen table.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do with the money?" Jude asks.

"Actually, yes, some of it is for you guys," I say to moms, "For all the medical bills, the new clothes, everything." I hand them a cheque.

"Oh Gracie, that's so kind of you." Mom hugs me from behind.

"And the rest is for Fost&Found. I want it to be used for something important, something for Freddie. I've had some thoughts about starting a charity as part of it, would that be okay with you Callie?"

"Yeah, yes of course. Thank you, Gracie."

"I've talked to the Quinn's about it, we're having a sort of launch party thing at their house, the money will split between everything Fost&Found advocates for and a new charity called Fairness4Freddie, it's inspired by Justice4Jack." I tell Jude, "The charities stand for similar things except with F4F, foster kids can go directly to the website and make a request for a claim. Mariana's been helping me."

"I'm so proud of you." Moms are practically crying.

"I'm just doing what he would have wanted, although, I did save some money for something really cool," The doorbell rings, "That'll be the delivery men now." Moms go and answer the door and a few seconds later, two guys are walking through to go in the garden with a huge box, "Close the blinds, I want it to be a surprise when it's done." They all make guesses about what it is, but they're all wrong.

"Give us a clue, Gracie," Jesus begs.

"Well, I can't use it yet because of my leg,"

"That's your clue?"

"Fine, um, I was jumping for joy when I ordered it."

"Oh my God, I know what it is," Jesus peeks through the blinds, "Holy moly." He looks at me.

"It's done." The delivery guys leave.

"Come on, let us see!" They all start pushing past each other to get outside.

"Oh my God!" Mama says.

"You got a trampoline?!" Mariana climbs on to it.

"Correction, we got a trampoline." Moms help me up through the net of the huge trampoline and I lie down as they all jump around me.

"This is the coolest thing ever, Gracie you're officially off the hook for all my future birthday and Christmas presents!" Jude says as he flips forwards and backwards.

We all have hours of fun bouncing around, well mom mostly watches, she says women who've given birth aren't built for bouncing, even if it was eighteen years ago. I really feel good, and I feel good knowing the majority of the money is going to a good cause. As for the family heirlooms I was given, I'm keeping them, although, in the end, she and Freddie didn't get along, they were still close, and she would have wanted him to have them. She did leave a car though, it seemed silly to sell it on, so I've kept that. There's a lot of people living under this roof, another car can be very useful to all of us.

After our family time, I go to my room to start writing my speech for the launch party, I know exactly what to say.


	62. Chapter 62

Callie and I had breakfast with the Quinn's, it made sense for me to be here to help set up, Callie wanted to help too. It was a pretty talkative breakfast, making final arrangements and things like that. Brandon's old band are playing. It's pretty much going to be like the fundraiser they had for Girls United that Sophia told me about. She and I go up to her room to start getting ready.

"How was the funeral? I'm sorry we couldn't make it." She says.

"It was sad, I wrote a poem and buried it with him. I think he would have liked it, I didn't know him that well."

"You knew him well enough to know he would be happy that you were there for him. You were a good sister to him, even if it was only for a few months."

"Thanks, S."

"You're so brave, not just for what you're doing for Freddie, for everything you've done. Not many girls can go through what you have and come out on top." She's so kind to me, she always is. Even though she might be trying to make up for what she said at Taylor's party, I'm still grateful.

"I'd hardly say I came out on top."

"Are you kidding? You're now an administrator for a website that helps thousands of kids, you've started a charity that helps even more, and on top of that you're keeping up your grades. Now, which dress are you going to wear, the blue or the pink?" She holds up two frocks that once upon a time I would never have worn, I take the blue.

We get everything set up, Robert even arranged caterers and everything. There's a stage for the band, tables filled with finger food, blue balloons everywhere. I think even a boy like Freddie would appreciate this. The people start arriving, most of them are just Robert's associates, but there are a few familiar faces.

"Gracie!" Rita and the girls arrive, all smiling, Rita hugs me, "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." I hug the girls, even Gabi.

"But congratulations on everything you're doing, I mean, it's not surprising, you are Callie's sister."

"I'm just doing the best I can," I hug her again, "I'm supposed to like mingle, I guess, but thank you all for coming. It means a lot."

Callie and I float around the party like the social butterflies, we meet Robert and Gill's friends and talk to them all about Fost&Found, Justice4Jack and Fairness4Freddie. Everyone seems genuinely interested, a lot of them had no idea there were so many problems in the foster system. I thought for a while that I wanted to become a teacher when I'm older but being here today and with what I've gone through, I know I want to have something to do with fixing the system, and I start today.

"Taylor," I spot her across the patio, "I didn't know you were coming." I haven't seen her since before the camping trip.

"Jude told me to come, I hope that's okay?"

"Of course, it is," I hug her, "It's so good to see you."

"You too, you look good," She gives me a flirty smirk, "And you look well."

"You look good too," I realise my hand is lingering on her waist, but I don't move it, "And thank you, I am well. I'm guessing you know where I was?"

"Yeah, Jude-"

"Jude told you, of course," I laugh, "Your best friends. Sometimes I forget that because when I think of you, I think of... you know, us."

"So, do I. Do you think of me a lot?"

"Sometimes, is that a problem?" I inch closer to her.

"I hope not, I find myself thinking of you too." We kiss, it's as if we could read each other's minds. I feel like that should scare me but something about it makes me like her more.

"Oh, hi Taylor," Moms come over, " "Sweetie the band is about to play a song and then you're up."

"Okay, I'll see you later." I hug Taylor again, it would just be weird kissing her in front of moms. The pretty lead singer of Brandon's steps up to the microphone.

"Hey guys, we're Someone's Little Sister thanks for coming out today!" The crowd cheers for them, it's only now I notice just how many people are here for this, "It's such a great cause." Brandon steps up.

"My sisters Gracie and Callie will be up in a few minutes to tell you a little more about it, but first we're going to play you a song. This is called Tomorrow's Never Gone." They start playing their song. When Brandon gave me his iPod to listen to their music, this song was my favourite. I think that's why they're playing it first, he can tell I'm a little nervous. It's beautiful and everyone is really getting into it. Before I know it, the song's over and Callie and I are up on stage.

"Hi, um most of you probably know me from the Girls United fundraiser about a year ago. We raised a lot of money, so thank you for that. Today we're here for another important reason. I started an app and website with my sister's help called Fost&Found, it's a place where foster children can go for advice, support, to support others. The idea is that it's for foster kids, run by foster kids. But the truth is that no real change can be made by kids on the internet, the real change comes from you. After something tragic happened to a friend of mine, Jack Downey, we started a petition to pass a new bill called Jack's Law," Callie talks with poise and strength, "The system is broken, and Jack's Law aims to fix it, we need to stop funding privatised foster care and start funding foster care within the government. More proof has come to light recently that caught a lot of people's attention, so my sister Gracie has started a charity to work alongside Fost&Found to make it a place where kids can not only get advice and support, but they can receive actual help and find their safe place." She steps back from the microphone, it's my turn now.

"Thanks, Callie," I take a deep breath, "My brother, like Jack, was killed by the system. But, before that, even his own father was the one hurting him. I first met Freddie when he came to me at my school, he was cold and couldn't even look at me. But he was family and still tried to help me. As I got to know him, he became more open to me, and he was open to the system working for him even though it let me and others down multiple times, he placed trust in the system and he had to pay for that.

"When Callie told me about Fost&Found, I didn't want to try and help, back then I was in the system and I was scared something bad would happen to me. Bad things happen to foster kids anyway, my family and I are living proof of that. My brother, Freddie, was in the system for only a matter of months and it screwed him in the worst way possible, but he didn't tell anyone because he was scared. The sad truth is that kids everywhere are scared because there isn't anyone making any change, and like Callie said, the change comes from you, and we're here today to tell you what you can do. You can donate, you can demand, and you can deliver because the people in charge won't deliver. There are people in blue t-shirts around holding clipboard and buckets, write your name and give what you can," People immediately start getting their wallets out and signing things, "They're t-shirts say Fairness4Freddie, that's the charity. It will work directly with Fost&Found and Jack's Law to actually give kids real support. Kids can go to our website, fill out a form and make their claim to be placed in a good foster home. Jack's Law is already helping some kids out and I know that with the actions we make we can save more of them. Freddie might have had to pay for the system's flaws then, but that stops today." I take a step back, breathless from my verbal battle. The people in front of me applaud me, they continue to donate. I look to my family, they're beaming up at me, filled with pride. I'm filled with pride too. Things will start to change, they already have.

 **Okay, so that's the end. I hope you all enjoyed it, this is my most popular story, and someone told me that it's one of the best non-Brallie Fosters stories on here. I will be writing more Fosters stories in the future so leave requests, leave reviews and follow me. I've had so much fun writing this and I feel close to this story and the show. Thank you so so much for all the support you've given me. I'll see you all very soon.**


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